After the Polls

It is a wonderful Friday. This is one Friday that is so full of peace in weeks as the elections dust has settled. Well, seemingly.

As we are counting the days since the president and his sidekick were sworn in ad counting down the hours to the inauguration of the duo and our lawmakers, there is already so much political activity which has led some to start yet another countdown to May 2024 when Malawi will go to the next polls.

In last week’s piece, I talked about how tensions were so high with the electoral body not releasing the results. There were fears of riots across the nation and we had to leave work for the safety of our homes before midday. The good thing was that nothing significant happened on the day we thought could breed violence. The weekend passed with a lot of madando and repeated press conferences which didn’t give the citizenry what they desired the most; the election results. Some injunctions and court hearings later, we had our results. Professor Arthur Peter Mutharika had won. Power of incumbency? Not too sure. Paja amati boma sililuza. Whatever that means.

Throughout the electoral processes, there were a lot of rumors of rigging with some electoral officers doing some clearly questionable things. Journalists and political parties brought all those to the electoral body, breeding the word madando, as said by the electoral body chair. Whether the complaints were resolved to ensure the credibility of the elections is still an unanswered question to the many of us. All in all, I know that I have a President, a member of parliament (Noel Lipipa aka mfana Noxy) and a local government representative (Chimbanga; this time I remember who I voted for).

After the announcement of the results of the presidential poll, there were a lot of mixed reactions. There was disappointment from those of us who sided with the opposition and for some time we got to endure some I told you so jabs from our blue friends who have maintained the top seat. Despite having to endure the insults, there were bigger concerns as to what the country would be like in the next five years. Then there were those who had reservations with the occupant of the seat of the country’s second in command. I quickly switched myself back to work mode when I realized that thinking about the elections and crying over them would not bring any bread on my plate. After all, Jane Ansah had already put it to us that auditors audit. I am a researcher and I needed to switch back to research as that is the thing that brings the bread on the table.

Despite my efforts to ignore the results of the elections, I have been bombarded with constant reminders of how things are with rumors that conditions may worsen. I understand that tariffs for some utilities may go up and we may ge back to the days of inconsistent power supply. Need I say something about the rumor of the impending fuel hike? Well. All those things led people into accusing those who “played different roles” in ensuring that the current president maintains his seat. 

Others went on to quote to the manifestos as drafted by opposition parties, reminding us of what we had missed by not electing the opposition candidates. That left me wondering as to whether positive change was guaranteed with the election of an opposition candidate. Your guess is as good as mine.

Moments after the blue victory, rumors started circulating that security officers from certain parts of the country were going to be transferred from the State House and true to that the social media got its fair dose of pictures of police lorries ferrying officers from the state house. According to reports, the people were given hours notice to vacate with and they left with little preparation and foreknowledge of where they were going to stay after the impromptu transfers. It is alleged that the reason for the transfer might have something to do with their region’s general political affiliation. These things have always been far from me but they got closer when the transfer wave hit the Mudi State House for the vice president. In a bid to keep Bwana Chimulirenji secure, they are transferring almost every police officer from that side to any station from Kanengo through Nthalire to Chizumulu. Mudi State House; someone I know works there and he has to move. One can only wonder as to what thing will have to be changed radically.

It is day 3 since the new mandate officially started and the president is due to deliver his inaugural speech. While the ceremony was happening at the stadium, the leader of the Malawi Congress party which came second in the presidential polls was addressing a presser. His point? The elections were not credible and he will make a legal challenge to nullify the results. The first question I had was on the timing of the effort. You surely cannot wait for someone to be sworn in before starting all that. Little did I know that he would give a response to my worries; he wanted government to keep on running. Huh? Government to keep on running? Okay. Fine.

What the MCP president finished with was to call on all Malawians who wish their country well to a march when he will be delivering his queries to the court and during the court proceedings. He went on to say that this was not a bid to make himself president of the country but to free the Malawi from leaders that have been imposed on her.

Upon listening to the whole address, there is yet another division of opinions. Some obviously like what Dr Chakwera is doing and are willing to go march. Others are saying the timing is not good and he should drop the whole thing and others are for the drop for yet a different reason; the court will not yield anything positive. My guess? He will go to the courts and people will go march (enanso awedza gule oti adapange nawo ma demo), but things will remain the way they are. The whole thing may make Malawi a bit hard to govern for the president for a short time, but that will be it.

It is ten days since we went to the polls. I am yet to get the ink off my finger nail. Perhaps that is the reason the elections dust is failing to settle. I hope it does so that we can go to our normal lives where auditors can audit.

There are some of you that are saying that the push for the federalization of Malawi should have succeeded and that Vincent Wandale's secession would have been a good thing for the country. Can we get over that and follow the president's appeal for unity, please? How hard can that be? Musayankhe.

A Voter’s Postmortem

It is a wonderful Friday despite the political stench. As per tradition, we get to reflect on one random issue, yet today’s is not so random.

The much touted 21^st May elections happened a couple of days ago and we all went to exercise our constitutional right of choosing our leaders. At the moment, we are in that rare phase where everyone sits around listening to the local radio stations and the local TV stations to see how the candidates are faring. To add to the political tensions, this year has added the social media to the equation. It is all very interesting.

With both official and unofficial results streaming in, people are coming in with different projections of who they think will win the day in the presidential election. Some have gone over and above with declarations that their candidates have won, against the regulations of the electoral body. The social media is awash with memes, angry statements, threats and rumors about the elections. What a time to be a Malawian!

When the electoral commission first showed us the results of the count with the incumbent leading, supporters of the ruling party immediately switched to party mode. Reports have it that the cadets were spotted celebrating around Kamlepo roundabout (pa Kwacha) in Blantyre. A cadet friend of mine posted that they intended to fill a big car with fuel and make noise in town. While the blue camp was in a jovial mood, young people who rallied their support to the main opposition parties were left both shocked and disappointed with the lead. Reason? They were wondering as to who would have given the incumbent so many votes considering that they thought his tenure was nothing but a poor show.

Several people posted on the social media, wondering as to who had given so much overwhelming support to the sitting president and we did not have to wait that long for the answers. The President’s homeboys in the east had done the needful to keep their kinsman in power. That, however, was not enough an explanation for the phenomenon. Those in the urban centers then pointed the other blaming finger to the rural voter. In their view, people in urban areas voted for “change” by not voting for the incumbent, citing the lead as coming from the rural vote. Twitter, Facebook and WhatsApp were awash with posts and memes of people declaring that they had frozen the financial assistance they provide to their rural folk. I thought these were all jokes until a friend of mine told me that he had denied his little cousin from the village school fees because of their affiliation. 

When the whole thing of pointing a blaming finger at the rural voter kicked in, I was swayed by the current and began to think that the people had a good point. After some careful reflection, however, I realized that it was nothing more than political intolerance when looked at through an objective lens from afar. On a closer look, however, I realized that it might just be lack of responsibility on the complainants’ part. In my view, if we really want people to understand how best to make a choice, we need to spend time with them and to share why we want them to have the same line of thinking as ours when going to vote.  At the end of the day, people still go and make their choice for different reasons, anyway so it goes down to us living with the decisions we make and accepting that others choose differently.

Looking at the whole electoral process and the activities from political parties, the electoral body and the media, I have learnt a lot from these elections. The first thing, which is a rather sad fact is that in Malawi there is little if any affiliation by ideology. I found myself reflecting on this when posed a question on why the opposition parties never formed a grand alliance if they were really up to ousting the current government and bring positive change. You will remember those failed alliances that were all over the place and the conditions that some of these people agreed on when they were forming these collaborations. There is hardly anything beyond opportunism and desire for self-enrichment.

One other thing I have learnt from the elections is the resilience and work ethic that has been demonstrated by different players. The Malawi Congress Party, for instance, has been attempting to get back in the driving seat since it was dislodged by the UDF when I was just a year old. This is the institution that has been through thick and thin and this year they came in with yet another robust challenge for the presidency. Then there is our current vice president. This is one person who inspired many through his dedication to his campaign trail through which he brought a message of change to the masses. SKC, as he is popularly known, changed the whole political landscape and some have argued that if he did not show up on the scene, victory would have been the Malawi Congress Party’s. Worth noting is that his 10 month old party managed to scoop votes in all parts of the country despite the failure to gain or retain parliamentary seats by its senior members. Says a lot about the guy, doesn’t it? I think we all have a leaf to borrow from Chilima. Ndi achina Chimwendo a MCP.

The other thing which I think all of us could learn is the issue of accepting when things do not go our way and embracing diversity. It is very sad to note that some people are still barbarically debating the issue of who the best person to lead the country is days after casting votes. Enawo sanavotenso. On the other hand, it is good to see the very few who are on the other side of the spectrum conceding defeat and wishing other candidates the best. Anthu akumudziwa asiyeni, pilizi chifukwa tawatukwana mokwana. Sadzatikumbira mandatu. There are others who have gone all out to castigate Lhomwes for voting along tribal lines which makes me wonder if people in the centre didn’t do the same. Perhaps it may go down to the fact that the latter’s bias is masked by the purported quality of the leader and the people’s desperate need for change. Zimenezo takamba, takamba.

Allow me to finish by commenting on the issue of rigging. In the months leading to the election, we saw the two most senior people in the country talking about how “some people” were plotting to rig the elections. The MCP leader assured people that there would be no rigging only for him to call for a presser in which he cried foul about rigging; in the midst of the counting. There have been incidents that our armed forces and law enforcement have manhandled and arrested people for attempting to alter results of the elections and these are no unsubstantiated allegations. It is unfortunate to see people who are filing complaints on what was supposed to be a free and fair election and we can only hope that these concerns will be addressed and that whoever claims victory will do it because he was chosen by the majority of the voters. I am not optimistic about that, if I am honest.

I have probably been talking about something completely unrelated to the title of the article, so here is the postmortem. We have voted in the watershed election and as it stands it is hard to predict as to who will carry the day and be anointed the country’s CEO. Everyone expressed their rights and chose the leader they wanted and there are lots who are unhappy with other people’s choices. If you are one of those, learn to live with it. Once again, the political stronghold thing we have always had has come to haunt us and unfortunately due to the partisan lenses through which we see things, it is only the southerner who is being beaten for it. We all know the reason so to avoid being torn apart by angry readers, I will leave it right here without expounding. Two thirds of this country will have to bear with the person who wins for the next five years because he will be someone chosen by a little over a third, in my projection.

As I anxiously wait for the results from the national tally center, I can only hope that the country remains peaceful throughout until we have a good transition with either the incumbent continuing or Reverend Kaliya taking over. The rumors are still circulating and the armorded vehicles filled with soldiers carrying machine guns with magazines and drums of bullets are scaring us. As I am tying this paragraph, I am sitting restlessly at home finishing up an article which I started earlier when I was at the office. Around 10:20 hours, we were told to leave the premises, pick our kids from school (I almost looked for the number of my kid’s school) and remain in the safety of our homes. It is my hope that we will finally get to hear the results so far after MEC made us wait in vain last night. More importantly, I hope the losers will accept, otherwise I heard someone talking about how ready he was to shed blood.

If you are in the country, stay safe. I am told anthu ayambapo zofoira zija

Tales from Zingwangwa

Welcome to what is yet another personal article from Richie Online. I was so poised to do some serious business writing coming from my response to your birthday messages. Of particular interest are the issues of the elections with candidates who we thought were good exposing their evil traits as we push closer to elections; mudslinging, collapsing podiums, leaked audios, violence and every other thing you have heard. Also in the air is the issue of the case of the murder of the person with albinism which is in the courts right now. All that is worth our attention and I am pretty sure that a section of the Richie Online community was expecting that from the author. That, however is not the case. Apologies.

I may not have mentioned it to some of you but I have now moved to Zingwangwa from the beautiful suburb of Mandala. Yes. I know. I can read the minds of some of you who are saying that this is like moving from the Champions League to relegation overnight. There were circumstances that led to this sort of migration and downgrade. On the other hand, I am enjoying the new place despite missing the views of the Clock Tower which I used to have when I sat on my balcony in those two years at the Brookside flats.

I moved to the flats back in 2017 when I was one of those young doctors who literally drive Queen Elizabeth Central Hospital. Being a lucky and poky intern, I managed to get a flat in Mandala in the name of the hospital and if I am honest, this is not something I was legally entitled to (morally, I was).  When I finished my internship and moved into a jobless phase, I was at the mercy of those who run the houses and I could have been kicked out. Luckily enough, I was not and I continued to stay there despite being under pressure from my dad to move out (my old man follows etiquette).

When I was finally financially ready to move out of Mandala, it was close to two years since I had been in a house hunt. To be fair, I had not had it difficult to find a house. My first one belonged to a workmate at the hospital and I found the second one (which was a guest wing) through a friend. Until this time, I had not gone through the hustles of going online or knocking doors of offices for houses. I was in it now.

A few weeks into the hunt for a smart and affordable house, I bumped into one friend to whom I shared the challenge I was facing. He quickly shared a phone number of a guy who knew of a house in the prime location of Chitawira. That was music to my ears and I called the guy right away. It turned out that the guy was an agent and he was advertising a house that was yet to be completed. Since I was in no hurry and I got assurances from the owner that the house was going to be completed in the next few weeks, I signed up for it and coughed up a seven figure some to pay for two months rentals. Months passed by. The house was almost completed but what was lacking was one vital thing I couldn’t live with; electricity. I could explain on how all this came about but I am not too sure I want to go the route of stepping on some influential people’s toes. My money was later returned safely back into my account and two months after I thought I had secured a house, I was back under the same pressure of a house hunt.

Resumption of the house hunt gave me an encounter with a different type of agents and house owners. While the previous one I had encountered were friendly and affordable, the ones I met on this round of the hunt were rather unconventional, versatile and hostile. Agents first. I am pretty sure that a good chuck of the people who read these articles have not been through the hustles of house hunting so I will just put it out here. When an agent shows you a house, you typically have to part with MK5000. Sometimes you don’t even get to see the inside of the house and all they do is to point to the house. “Umumu asamukamo sabata la mawa” and just like that, your money is gone. Then there are the house owners. I am not too sure as to where this whole thing of paying for a house for three months came from but there are others who have taken it a step further. For some land lords and ladies, three months is not enough and they want to make you pay for as long as six months. You read that right. The combining of agent and house owner nuisance led to some repeated circular movements in the house hunt and when I finally managed to meet an honest agent and owner, I was so tired so much so that I settled for the place I am operating from now in Zingwangwa. Mbali ya ku 7 doors kumagulitsidwa kachasu ndi matokoso kuja.

When people heard of the place I was about to start calling home, I got mixed reactions with more towards the negative side. On the positive side, a good number of friends like the fact that I was going to move closer to their places and that I was going to be closer to work (the places are almost equidistant to my desk, in my discernment). On the negative side, my boss and a few others felt like a person of my status shouldn’t live in Zingwangwa (and I understand them). For others, the big worry was the proximity to places like Kabila Tavern, Stereo and Zodetsa (not so sure of what people have heard about me). My big worry, however was the noise that I thought would be coming from the surroundings on top of the inconsistencies in the water and power supply.

On Saturday the 4^th of May, I packed my belongings and left Mandala for Zingwangwa. There were a number of differences right from the moment we turned off the main road. It was a bumpy ride and right away I knew that I had left the comfort of a nice drive home whenever I had the opportunity of a lift. And then I came to the house. This was a brick-fenced house with a lockable metal gate. I felt like a caged bird because I had been living with no walls surround the house for close to three years. A fence is something I am still adjusting to a week down the line.

I would have loved to talk so much about the reception I got from the neighbors who also happen to own the house I am in, but we could make another article for that. All you need to know is that they have been nice to me and they understand the balance between being available for each other and giving each other space. That is so brilliant.

While I was so worried about possible noise from the pubs, the few days I have stayed in Zingwangwa have taught me that the pubs shouldn’t be a big worry. I probably underestimated the distance between the noise spots and my house but I cannot complain about noise from any drinking joint. With the likes of Pemphero Mphande campaigning for a parliamentary seat, however, there have been a lot of people moving with public address systems and music, drumming support for parliamentary candidates. Another surprising source of noise has been events venues and churches. I do understand when I hear noise from Miracle Gardens on a Saturday or a Sunday. What I don’t get, however is me having to endure the sound of a keyboard from a church on a weekday evening. I am not saying that praying or singing for God is wrong, but I think it is high time people got reasonable and made the sound equipment in their church about making the music and sermons audible, as opposed to disturbing to unconcerned people. Imeneyi takamba, takamba basi.

One other decision I made upon moving to Zingwangwa was that I was going to throw the minibus away and switch to walking to work. Good health choice, right? Yeah. It is. The thing about it is that based on my new schedule, I have to wake up around 4:30, prepare for work and then saddle up and brisk walk to the College of Medicine Sports Complex where I do my morning workout and shower before work. Around that time, it is not easy to get a minibus and it is not unusual to see people walking around. Another peculiar thing you see is that after every few meters you see people in sports gear jogging off their fat or stress.

When I was walking to the complex one of these days, I met one young lady. From afar, the short blouse that was revealing her belly button and her tight pants coupled with the way she was running made her look like one of those joggers. Something, however, looked a little off about her. The pace was unusually fast and she was taking shortcuts which was unusual for someone going for a morning jog. As she passed by, I realized that the attire was more suited for something else but not sports. This was probably someone who was knocking off from some trade and rushing home or some student rushing home to prepare for classes after a wild night out. Not so important, but I thought you might want to know the things I see when I walk to and from home in my new place. Ku Mandala kunalibe zimenezi.

One Felix Gent once said that the only thing people of Blantyre are capable of putting together is traffic. We can't even put together houses and that is why I have ended up living in Zingwangwa. On the other hand, I like my new place. On the next corner there is a place where they sell cooking oil in small plastic bags, tomatoes and eggs. You can literally start cooking nsima when you have no relish and with MK200 you could be set. Some may not like the idea of me being in a ghetto but I think this vibrant place is my type. Unfortunately you are not invited to visit until further notice.

Komabe pa 21 May tikavote.

Your Birthday Messages: Richie Responds

It is another wonderful Friday and once again we get to be treated with an article. I should have been coming in with a low morale following a low readership from last week’s article. I do understand that the titling of the article put a good number of people off because the mention of Game of Thrones made everyone thing that I wanted to talk about the same HBO TV show that people have been tweeting and posting online about. What I wanted to focus on, however, was closer to home and relatable to everyone regardless of their Game of Thrones watching status. On the other hand, I am back in full throttle having maintained the excitement of celebrating my 26^th birthday.

For some reason, this year’s birthday is one that I had been looking forward to for long as I was looking forward to making amends for the raw celebrations in the past two years. I was eyeing the possibility of celebrating a birthday without having to suffer from the aftermath of the previous night’s beverages and it seemed that people joined in the prayers for the same; so much so that when I was going to work the day after I was fresh as the newborn I was supposed to be.

The birthday in itself was not without some wonderful happenings. From the eve of the birthday, I was all over town trying to jump start myself into a celebratory mood. A drink there, football there, a chat there and some little dance there. That was all in the middle of the night and by the time we crossed over into the actual day in the company of the men I will refer to only as the Philosopher and DS, we had already generated enough memories for the night. The following day was punctuated by visits, calls, a barbecue and a few more drinks but on the high of it all I found myself hosting the prayers for our ward. Yes. Ku mphakati. Mphakati wa lachitatu unali kunyumba kwa Bambo ndi Mayi Kamwezi .  I think analengeza choncho kutchalitchi. Later in that evening I found myself being joined by more friends for more meat, chat and games (along with a bit of a drink, of course). Another special thing? My sister who isn’t a night crawler managed to walk in and crash the party around 2200 hours. Awesome things.

Throughout the day I found joy in taking a look at the WhatsApp and Facebook posts that people made. Worth noting was that there was this one picture of me that was trending with all sorts of captions on WhatsApp status posts. It is probably one of my best recent pictures and I was not surprised it was all over. I was however fascinated by the people who were posting pictures of me that I personally didn’t have (either they took them and didn’t share or I lost them). There was a mixture of tones in the messages that came through. Some were these good “happy birthday Mr Nice guy” messages while others were oscillating on the opposite side of good. And then there was the usual mukwatire stuff (its no longer mugwire nowadays). Looking at the messages, I felt like publicly replying to some of them through this article and sharing some of the lessons that I have learnt from them.

The first thing that came through my mind is the diversity of the tones in which the messages came through. Being a guy who considers himself 80 percent single, it was awesome to get “happy birthday, future husband” messages which helped to neutralize the “happy birthday, idiot brother” messages. There were a lot people who wrote these messages and they kept me busy. I tried to look at it with a positive eye when people I do not normally talk to called on the day, rather than take it that they had just remembered me for one day of the year and that they would go back to ignoring me for the rest of the year.

I was fascinated in particular by the way some people wrote my whole CV in their birthday posts citing how I am always there and how I handed them opportunities they needed the most (I probably am not that good). Others cited me as a mentor and a brother (the one thing I have been known to suck at) and these were all good things to hear. These are probably things some of you have not seen of me for a very good reason but hearing them drove a point home. It gladdened my heart to hear that there are people who have some good memories of me; those who regard me as a positive addition to their lives. Since I began to think about the purpose of life, I have always thought of life as something worth sharing and the fact that I have been able to share it with a few meant a lot.

And then came the milandu part. There were people who just couldn’t let the chance to drop nukes on me pass. One that caught my attention? The one fair lady to whom I was this awesome mentor in my days in college. To her, since we graduated I have been hardly available and she couldn’t help but wonder whether I had dropped her on the premise that I felt she was fully grown and independent. Maganizo aketu, eti? The thought of this dragged me to the idea of sharing my life and while I was celebrating that I had made some positive impact in other people’s lives, I felt like I had not done as much as I possibly could. This ended up being a challenge to me and perhaps after saving the screenshot of that post I will go back to the drawing board and figure out how I can be available for those in need.

Prior to the birthday, one Wanangwa Ndovi (I can’t help but mention this one) jumped on me with a 20 minute lecture on how I needed to “respond to the needs of my body and get married”. 20 minutes! This was followed by other numerous messages of nephews and nieces asking for their aunt and brothers and sisters asking for alamu. Another lost  soul went on to send a message on how I should settle for one lady as opposed to my habit of (in his view) introducing him to a new prospective candidate every week. I need to put it right out here that I do not introduce new ladies to this guy every week. He is probably just tired of waiting for me to get back to my dating days after close to two and a half years since my last relationship. Like any other social being, I have gotten excited about people and since he pushes me to ask what is going on, he has probably heard about 3 of them. Basitu. He thinks he can hold me ransom over that. On the other hand, the fact that he threw that in my face made me realize that there is a certain line of thought that categorizes me as someone who has overstayed in his single days and someone who is impatient and unforgiving when it comes issues of love and relationships. That is a story for another epistle, but I do realize that being 26 pushes my deadline of having a live copy of my DNA on a jumping castle is fast approaching. I will do something about it, I promise.

One thing that I noticed is that there were other people who preferred to post a picture of me on their status without actually throwing a direct message to me. The problem with that was that with calls and messages coming in from any of the 1171 WhatsApp contacts plus the friends around, it was difficult to take a peep at some status post. The result? Some walked to me asking what kind of heartless man couldn’t view their status when they had struggled to get the nice pictures posted and spiced them with a nice caption. I understand that sometimes we like to show the world that we are wishing people the best but we need to mind the audience. If you want to send me a message of congratulations or wishes to someone, you might want to ring them before you post it on Twitter where they may not be. The same is the case with me. You have to post it directly to me because you may never know if you are not on the list of people who are on the mute list. Tanenatu.

Having said all that, I think this was one of the best birthday celebration ever. I am still pondering on all the things that were said to me and I will surely respond with some positive action and words. Those who pledged piglets and bottles of Kombeza should honor their pledges just like my brother, Francis honored his (I won’t tell you what he pledged). I am 26 and old.