Reflections from the Month of Love

 

It is yet another Friday and once again… You know what? Let’s get to it already!

The 14^th of February came and went. It is that da of the year on which people celebrate love or celebrate posting pictures of love. In my single years, these days would be punctuated by a Valentine’s Day supplement on the Richie Online blog. This year, however, I did not do that as I was busy looking for lollipops to give to my loved one on the socially distanced Valentine’s day. It is on this day that I realized that it is very difficult to write about love from the bottle into which you were locked by your loved one. I mean… Writing comprehensive analyses about the general issues surrounding love life entails going out there to hunt and spearfish for love stories which is not necessarily easy when you are all bottled up. Interestingly, however I found myself failing to resist the urge to analyze the readily available love stories from one Pemphero Mphande’s page.

I started following Pemphero’s page when it was in its infancy. I probably did it with the hope of buying a like for my own Richie Online Facebook page but more importantly because I think Pemphero (or Gyan as we used to call him in the days of old) is one person who I think has opinions worth tuning in to. While I am at this, I should point out that not all of us need to have Facebook pages as your personal accounts are more than enough for the content you share.

For this month, the page’s inbox must have been one of the busiest. I cannot remember the exact post that prompted people to  start entrusting the Mphande guy with the deepest secrets of their love lives but with the few posts that were shared on the page from his private chat, many got motivated to share their love stories. A lot of us were not ready for what was coming our way. We were hit with a barrage of love stories that ranged from broken hearts, unusual geneses to love, unhappy endings, toxic relationships, tales of blessers, incoherent stories, show-offs, and anything else you could think of. At one point, the owner of the page prompted people to share what they have learnt from the page in the month of love with a 10k prize in Malawi kwacha. While I shared a thought, I decided not to pour out all the things I had learnt from the page for reasons I will not share now. While I could not do it right on the page, I thought that whatever I have seen and learnt from the man with one jacket’s page was worth sharing in more detail. So here we go.

The first lesson I got from the month of love with Pemphero (as he called it) was nothing to do with the content itself. Rather it is something that comes from the very fact that there were a lot of people who are in need of someone to talk to. When I first looked at the posts, my comment read, “anthu akukuuzani zinthu zopitirira msinkhu wanu, bwana”. People are telling you things that are beyond your age. With that comment, I did not mean to undermine the abilities and wisdom of  the author of the page. All I meant was to understand how overwhelming and heavy the responsibility he had was. To confirm my suspicion, earlier today he hinted on being heavily weighed down on by hiding our IDs. Listening to people is no easy task and the difficulty of it is doubled when you are dealing with sensitive issues. But guess what? Issues that you may think are too sensitive to be shared with a “Facebook personality” have been shared with Pemphero and with the rest of us. No simple feat from the man who created trust, but on the other hand, the month of love has shown us that there are a lot of people that need a listening ear and possibly counselling on matters of love.

Then there is the issue of the toxicity of the internet. As you could imaging, with such an influx of posts and the ever-increasing following of the page, it was inevitable that there would be posts that would attract some unpalatable comments. I observed that there was a point at which one person requested Pemphero to take down a post of her story when the heat in the comments ended up being too much for her liking. That is the thing with the social media today. It has created a legion of keyboard warriors who are too comfortable disrespecting other people without being punched. But it is not just them. While others were not there for the disrespect, poor advice was also very prevalent on the posts as was intolerance and lack of respect for diversity. That is the internet and the social media for you. They say that you should never share your problems with people because 8 out of 10 do not care and the other two are glad you have the problems. The internet is that one place where people make the habit of laughing at other people’s pain and victim-blaming. On the positive side, there are others who are very accommodating and willing to give advice in a positive way without being judgmental or dismissive.

Then there is this thing of self-righteousness. When you look at  the stories about heart break or toxic relationships, most of the subject shifted the blame to their partner although on the rare occasion, you would have people (mostly men, or so I think) bearing the blame for their breakups and owning up. That tells you about the modern-day society and confirms the assertion that there are always three versions of every breakup story; the man’s story, the woman’s story and the truth. There was one classic situation when a guy who was labelled as toxic by his ex-girlfriend came to defend himself after recognizing the story of his past relationship on the page. We may not know who was telling the truth between the two but what we have was each’s version of what led to the breakup. That is a typical case in modern-day society, and we use such stories as keys to other people’s hearts.

Going through the stories, one would also notice that heartbreaks are highly prevalent in our day and one would wonder as to whether that was the case 10 years back. There are a lot of stories of relationships ending badly due to instances of cheating, parental interference (we still have this), financial circumstances, distance and whatever you may name. At the end of the day what there breakups leave are people with scars from previous relationships. As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people (if you get it) and at the rate we are going, we may end up having broken people that are not ready to make full commitment to their loved ones and their relationships due to previous heartbreaks.

Promiscuity. I would not be doing justice to the content of the month of love if I do not include this area. Most of the people who posted stories of unhappy endings either admitted to cheating or talked about how their partner cheated on them. If everyone is claiming to be faithful in their relationships and marriages, then one would wonder as to who all these people are cheating on their partners with. You could easily relate this with the previous points that the cheating that is happening is both a cause and an effect of the heartbreaks. The two feed into each other and have created a vicious cycle which has rendered the concept of committing to a relationship an old school thing for most. People have come to admit how they have 3 girlfriends and are struggling to choose which two to drop and others have admitted to cheating as a matter of revenge after being cheated on. It is just a mess out here.

And then there is the element of the need for love. There are a lot of hearts that are lonely out there and for different reasons. There are people who are struggling to find love because of the stereotypes surrounding their situations; people with disabilities, single mothers, not-so-wealthy people, people living with HIV/AIDS and many other marginalized people. On the other end are people with none of those conditions who for some reason can’t just find love for the sheer lack of luck or something along those lines. Then there is the issue of preferences. Obviously, people need someone they can live with. There were a few posts that attracted a bit of a reaction because of the highlighted preference. One young lady shared how he needed a guy who drinks and can take her out. As expected, there were judgmental comments on the thread although I am sure there were hungry guys who flocked to Mphande’s inbox to ask for connection to the 23-year old lady. Then there was a young lady who shared a story about her single mother love needs. I found that very moving; a young lady being concerned about her own forty-something year old mother’s romantic needs. That was pure gold and I hope the two found what they needed. Then there are the ladies who wait for Mphande’s “I love you” on his goodnight post. Speaks volumes, doesn’t it? I am wondering why the guy is single, though. If at all it is true that it. The guy has lied to me a couple of times, just to put things in perspective. Nothing big, though.

Having looked at all those negative stories with unhappy endings, one would begin to doubt the existence of true love or to wonder as to how to “strike a perfect relationship deal”. My thinking? I think true love does exist in this world. While through the muddy streets of heartbreak stories on the page, one finds bits of dry ground in the form of stories with happy endings. The interesting bit is that these good love stories have the most unusual of beginnings. A one-night stand, junior asking a boss out and all sorts of stories. If you go through the page, you will understand what I mean. Ironically, most relationships that started in the church setting or something of that sort didn’t have happy endings. From the page, at least. I am not drawing conclusions here. All I am saying is that love finds you when and where it finds you; on the bar counter, in church, in class, at the seminar, Sunday school, social media, marketplace and pretty much any place you can think of. Be open-minded about these things.

I am allowed to talk about the seemingly unimportant things, am I not? I will give myself the permission to. Having hit 66k likes at the time I am writing this, Pemphero’s page happens to be one of the most popular pages on the local scene. The problem with popular pages is that they attract a lot of stupid (pepanitu) unrelated comments. Classic one? “First to comment”. Who gives a rat’s bum if you are the first to comment when you are not adding any constructive comments to the issue at hand? Then there is the issue of “I have left everything to concentrate on your page” and other comments along those lines. Uncreative pieces of repetitive comments that should have no place on popular pages’ comment sections. Get your act together, hey!

With the current issues surrounding subject-verb agreement in our setting, I had been asking myself as to whether the good man was editing the posts before the post. I found my answer when Pemphero posted an unedited post with a question as to whether we, his faithful audience wanted the posts raw or edited. Obviously, I was one of those who opted for the edited. While my command of the Queen’s language is not perfect (because I am not the Queen for starters), I think the quality of written English and Chichewa needs improving. Ndisakambe zambiri. Kudos to Pemphero for editing and giving us the articles in their palatable form. One of the people he works with (and yes; he runs an organization, not just the Facebook page you know him for) once made a comment on how it is impossible for one to not to become a good writer after working with Mphande for a month. The work he puts in the editing is amazing. As you may have known, the man has written a book titled What you See at Sunrise which will be out soon. If you do not like to read, this might be a good starting point. I cannot overemphasize the importance of reading. While I am not a fan of fictional writing, I will surely buy a copy.

I could write more about what I have seen on the page or about relationship politics in general but I also have other things to do other than think and write about social media musings and love affairs that do not directly concern me. One thing I am wondering is whether one can take the content of the page and turn it into an academic dissertation of sorts. I would like to think that it would be a nice one and I cannot wait to see what will become of the unpublished stories when the month of love on the page ends. 

Thanks, Pemphero for keeping us busy and entertained. And yes! Someone had to write about this so the Richie of Richie Online nominated himself for the job and did it.  

Have a great weekend, gentlemen and ladies.

Of Covid-19 and Beliefs

 

It is another Friday. I know I am supposed to be write but the thought of writing this article is not sitting well with me. All in all, I will still do it. Before I write, I will have to tell you why I do not like sitting here to tell you about how the pandemic relates with your psyche.

In the same way some people religiously read Richie Online articles, I read a column called Talking Blues which publishes every Sunday on Facebook and on NyasaTimes. There is something unique about this column. While on occasion I have objectively disagreed with the content, most of the writings are something every rational being can and should relate with. Last Sunday, the article (rightly) accused the President of ditching his campaign promises to focus on the coronavirus pandemic. We at Richie Online agree. El Presidente has the tough task of taking us to Canaan from Egypt; Covid-19 or not. Moses and Joshua led the Israelites through the desert, didn’t they? Same difference. I probably deserve the hypocrite title for writing about Covid-19 for the millionth time, but I guess I just have to. So there you go. The hypocrite title. That is why I did not want to do this. 

I will not talk about the MK6.2 billion. 

Well. Maybe I should. I did not realize how serious this issue was until the Mikozi Facebook page posted a question on what one would do if they got 1 percent of the MK6.2 billion that the government is struggling to account for. Guess how much that fraction of the money is? MK62 million! That is more money than what will pass through the average Malawian in their lifetime. And to think that money amounting close to such a figure was used to “plan meetings”, one would wonder as to whether the people who serve us in different capacities actually have the interests of the nation at heart. If we happen to have demonstrations for this one, I will be the first one to paint my hair red and hold a placard. Anyway. This is not the issue for the day.

One of the daily newspapers in the country gave a pictorial focus that was aimed at showing how laid-back people are with Covid-19 prevention. I was to later witness the same when I was passing by Chadzunda market on the way to Mirale. Passing through the packed market, I saw no more than 5 people donning masks. This prompted me to go all academic to share why human beliefs will make the fight against the Covid-19 pandemic a tough one and what could possibly be done to fix the situation. The Health Beliefs Model on which I base my arguments and build this article is a well-known construct which states that behavioral change in response to a condition is dependent on how their perception of the condition’s severity and their susceptibility to it. In addition to the two, they also change their behaviors based on their health motivation and their perception of the benefits and barriers to the behavioral change.

In line with Covid-19, at first people thought they were untouchable and could not get infected. Most found themselves arguing that they were young and did not have any predisposing conditions that would put them at risk. What people forgot was that the need for prevention was more of a public health issue than it was a personal one. In the later day, however, most people have gotten to know the reality that Covid-19 can affect and infect anyone and most of us have hopped in on the prevention. This is because some of us have seen someone who is of a similar demographic get infected or succumb to the disease. While that may be unfortunate, it is working in the favor of common sense and public health measures. Out of town where people are not really affected and are not getting tested, people are not perceiving themselves as at risk of Covid-19 and are going about their business. Perhaps we need to prepare information to rescue them before they have their own Kiki Camarenas.

Then there is the issue of perceived severity. People’s reaction to public health advice and whether they conform to the proposed preventive measures depends on whether they perceive the condition to be serious or not. With Covid-19, many young people have been saying that even if they got infected, they would pull through as they have stronger immune systems. While that may be right, new information coming out of Malawi and QECH to be exact is suggesting that more young people are succumbing to the Rona in the second wave as compared to the first one. There are a lot of young people who I have known to have been infected including some that have beaten the Rona twice, but their stories do not mean that we should be complacent. Covid-19 remains a killer disease and prevention is essential. Then there is the issue of the possibility of you containing it but spreading it to a loved one with who may die of it. This goes out to those of you who pack yourselves in bars in Chilobwe when pubs in town close or go around with dirty masks around your chins.

With health experts giving out messages on how to prevent being infected with the novel coronavirus, there are different reactions. Generally, people are not fond of handwashing and sanitizing, but we are falling in line. On the other hand, we have seen people being resistant to measures relating to physical distancing and wearing masks as some think such measures are neither beneficial nor practical, perceived benefit and barriers.

One person wrote on Facebook that the masks we use have holes with a size of certain microns while the coronavirus is way smaller. You have thought about the possibility of the virus shooting through the pores of the mask right into your respiratory system, haven’t you? Truth of the matter is that there is a limit to which every preventive measure can work. On the other hand, the virus is not some sharp small particle being shot from a canon with a direct aim at your mouth. If you use and dispose your mask well, you will be protected. As of staying home, the simple explanation is that the virus moves around when infected people move about. If you stay home, you are less likely to catch it. Of course, that comes with the element of discipline and the impractical measure of not letting in people as much as possible. A sad story was posted about how affluent children grounded their parents and set up internet gadgets for daily video calls to shield them from the disease. The parents still died because while they were indoors all the time, the maid was moving about (and may not have been as careful) and ended up catching the disease. I will let this story hang like that, but you get my point and can imaging the way around this.

Then there are the perceived barriers to preventive measures. As I am writing this, I am not locked up in my house because I am at the office. I am trying to make a living in here and sometimes being physically distanced is a little difficult due to space issues. I am thinking of the person who hawks his wares at Zingwangwa market who may not have options but to still go to the market to make a living. These are real dilemmas but then there are those who say they do not like to wear a mask because they cannot breathe properly in it. In my experience, with the right size and material mask one can breathe well. We may need to stop putting out this excuse. And then there are the others who cannot stay away from the bottle. I have no issues with those. My main issue is with those who cannot be disciplined enough to drink at home opting to go out and be spitting on each other by the bar. In the words of the prezo, this careless and selfish behavior must stop.

Let me finish by talking about the vaccine. Now this is a controversial one as people have taken two steps ahead of the baseline of conspiracy theories. In one of my conversations, someone told me that they will not take the vaccine because it is the work of Satan meat to reduce the earth’s population. When I asked for the source of information, I was told that the source was WhatsApp. Information from that chain message or video you forwarded without verification landed on the wrong eyes and ears and now people have put their foot down in opposition of the vaccine. People who had jabs for the pox, for TB, for polio and all sorts of diseases are not questioning the contents of the vaccine as if they know the contents of the medication they constantly get from the hospitals for their ailments. The issue gets uglier when prophets get involved and begin to tell their faithful not to take the vaccine. Gentlemen. If the white man wanted to be tracking us or to kill us, he would not have needed for a pandemic to facilitate his plot. Trackers in the vaccine? If you are reading this, there is an 80 percent chance that you got the link through WhatsApp and if your location settings are on, Mark Zuckerberg knows where you are through his app. Ndiye ukuti chani iweyo? Shall we get the jab and get this over with. Pfiezer, Moderna, Sputnik or whatever. Tiyeni tikabaitse. Some of these may not be as effective as we may want them to be, but they are the next best shot as scientist work on better options. Eeetu. No one wants to kill you.

Having said that, I think we all have a duty and responsibility to prevent the spread of covid-19 which has the potential of collapsing our health system. I am not sure as to how we will conduct the much needed demonstrations with physical distancing when or if we need to because the reports that cylinders are being bought at MK5.5 million and ordinary meals at MK10 000 are pretty bad and demonstration-worth.

If you are close to Saulos Chilima, tell him Richie wishes him a Happy Physically-Distanced Birthday.

Happy weekend, folks. Be on your guard always and avoid selective prevention of Covid-19.

Of Government Emails and Websites

 by the Daydreamer

I have been given an ultimatum by the self-acclaimed landlord of this corner of the worldwide web that I should collect my writing materials from wherever I stashed them and start using them again. He says he misses The Daydreamer’s Hallucinations, whatever good he sees in those random thoughts. The boy from Mpunga has, however, not said what exactly will befall me if at all I do not start scribbling whatever stuff these concoctions I have been taking these days as a local ‘vaccine’ against the notorious ‘Rona will bring out of my grey matter. Sometimes I wonder whether it is the fear of contracting the virus, the fear of a vaccine from some ‘bad’ billionaires, or the fear of dying that has driven one and all to places where blue gum trees are found in abundance. The scramble for lemons and ginger in the markets these days reminds me of my days with the landlord of this place somewhere, where we could scramble for VP. We’ll talk about that someday.

Anyway, I was saying the doctor anandigwira pakhosi this other day that I should get back to writing. And just a few days after that, he found a good occasion to lure me into scribbling something for him on one of his lazy Fridays like last week (and maybe today too). If you chance him, he will tell you about a crazy rule he has just manufactured to back himself up when he gets lazy. So here I am, standing in for the doc, who is probably out there somewhere steaming with whatever ‘natural remedy’ brew he has concocted today.

So on one random morning last week I woke up and did the usual checks on my phone and WhatsApp. A particular WhatsApp status caught my attention and I dared to open it. It was of a renowned social media commentator and lecturer in communication at ‘the college that God loved the most’. Most importantly, he is one of those I consider highly as my mentors. So, his was a question on why government officials in Malawi do not have official government of Malawi emails but instead go ahead to use Gmail or Yahoo! accounts.

I took a screenshot and posted it on my status while we discussed the issue further with the good lecturer in the background. But when the landlord of this place saw my post he thought it wise to coerce me into writing an article for him about that. So here I am, stating a little of the obvious, and some of my own hallucinations (and parroting some of what the good lecturer said in our conversation).

The twenty-first century is not called the Digital Age just for the fun of it. Meeting here on someone’s virtual plot is evidence enough of how technology has advanced in this age. Not long ago, these thoughts could only be published in print, but now I can even be posting stuff (whether full of sense or otherwise) every minute and you can access the same pronto. That’s not news.

When various technologies come, they usually take time to permeate into our country. This is usually because most of the times we take time to have the necessary infrastructure and gadgets in place. If you need an example, let me tell you that as you are reading this, somewhere on earth they have rolled out 5G and they are already thinking of something more than 5G. Where are we? Go find out, that’s your assignment.

So when emails came into being, we took time to adopt that technology. But let’s not belabor ourselves with what happened between then and now. I want us to talk about now. We now have almost all the necessary infrastructure in place, and the offices are crammed with gadgets. The question is, why do government officials almost never use emails we can recognize as official Government of Malawi emails.

In the line of duty, I have exchanged a good number of emails with various government officials of different ranks. Except for those from a few parastatals, I do not remember seeing an email that I would identify as a government of Malawi email. Otherwise, officials from various ministries indeed use Gmail, Yahoo!, and such other emails. Imagine the famed Brian Banda having an email like brianbanda@statehousemalawi.mw. Imagine receiving an email from, say, ps@minofhealth.mw. Cool, right? And very official. But here we are, exchanging official emails from addresses that sound like graffiti you’d find on a sorry wall of some primary school somewhere in Chiradzulu; biggyrich@gmail.com, richboy@ymail.com, mpungatopnigga@yahoo.com and so on.

The good lecturer told me that it was reported that there were about 144 IT gurus the government employed. I am tempted to say that other than sitting on their hands (which can be so mean), all they do is assist with photocopying documents and maybe installing WhatsApp in phones of the not-so-tech-savvy sapiens. Or you will have to tell me what it is that they do.

Have you ever visited any Government of Malawi Ministry website? Most of them are basic-looking plain sites that are there for the sake of being there. I am not saying they should be fancy looking, shiny graphics type of thing. No. But in 2021 we should not have a government website that looks like a blog (Richie’s here and mine elsewhere are better, if you ask me.)

Away from the outer look – the graphics – even the content is not usually up-to-date. I was assisting a colleague just this week to make a video that required some latest statistics which we thought a government website ought to have. But no, the latest they had was something from 2010. Ten years ago. Mind you, this is the kind of information we need to update on yearly basis. But remember we have tech heads that are almost the number of Jane Ansah’s Madando.

Since way back, as far back as I can remember, we have had ministers entrusted with the Information and Communication Technology. That part has always been on the move, from the Ministry of Education Science and Technology to Ministry of Information, Communication and Technology, to whatever the first citizen thinks of calling it at a particular time. But anyway, we have had ministers entrusted with manning ICT in this country, who in the end simply focus on the ‘I’: information, and discard the rest for you and me to figure out on ourselves. And even the ‘information’ is not usually information as we may know it, or would want it to be. It is simply one big machinery for manufacturing and distributing government propaganda and firefighting.

The point I am trying to make here on this borrowed plot is that we need to work more on the ICT part. Just have a look at the websites of institutions such as that of Chancellor College, MRA, and College of Medicine, for instance. Good looking and very vibrant. Those are the kinds of websites we should have for each and every ministry. In this day and age, we should shed off some of this paperwork and do things online. There are things we should find answers for online, forms we should download or even fill from the backseat of a Blantyre-Mangochi minibus. It should not be each and everything that we should have to endure standing on queues to get from face-to-face meetings with whoever holds a particular office. We can do better.

I hope someone reading this is, or knows, someone who can bring about the change we need. Now that the new government is modelling itself on some Western Government, I hope they will also work on the ICT sector. The emails and websites we are talking about here are just tips of the iceberg.