Matters of the Heart

Yeah. Friday.

This week has been a hectic one as work has been on my neck. The wonderful thing is that I survived it and came out unscathed save for the few kilos I lost running around the corridors of Queen Elizabeth Central Hospital. Anyway. That is my calling and I cannot complain. It’s this sort of work that makes you appreciate the beauty of a Friday night and the nice cold drinks that accompany the supper on it.

The state house and the opposition have all been under the radar this week and as such we don’t have any politicians on whose toes we can step on. I will leave the guy with the K69m wedding alone because its his money (or so I think). If you have proof he got it through dubious means, you may arrest him. Do it after his honeymoon, though.
This whole issue of the multimillion kwacha wedding has raised a lot of eyebrows. Some are busy talking of how lucky the bride is. We all know how money loving people are nowadays, anyway. Even Namadingo has done a song about it. The whole idea of people thinking that someone is lucky by dating a particular person has reminded me about some chat I had over lunch with a good friend of mine who will be referred to as DMC for the purposes of this chat.
Having been filled with Superior Halaal’s Hungarian hotdogs and some fizzy drinks, we got ourselves into trying to answer some difficult questions for no reason. We got ourselves wondering of why we have things happening in certain ways when it comes to love and relationships. Interesting cha, isn’t it?

Scenario 1; there are so many nice young gentlemen or ladies who are in what you would call broken relationships. Commentators (wachitatu osokoneza uja) would always ask them as to why they are sticking to such a partner who always brings them nothing but pain. Sometimes they would even ask themselves as to why they are stuck in the trap called a relationship only to find themselves clinging to it the next moment. One would wonder whether it is an issue of insecurity that comes with aging (or an aging relationship).

Scenario 2; Mr Perfect meets Miss Perfect and they start an awesome relationship. Everything gets all rosy and they get to the phase where the relationship reaches its climax. They can’t keep it to themselves so they decide that it is the “let the world know” moment. Instagram, Facebook, Whatsapp and every other social network gets flooded with the pictures of the lovebirds and years pass by with people waiting for that “save the date” message. All of the sudden people just get to hear that the relationship is over for no convincing reasons. One would wonder whether dating the same person sort of causes fatigue. Koma zikuchitika ndithu zinthuzi.

Last scenario? Here is my favorite as it is the most puzzling. It is probably something that emanates from 2 and 1. There are so many objectively good young ladies and gentlemen who are single on the premise of the lack of the lack of the best from the other species. Why are the nice ladies not meeting the nice gentlemen and vice versa. Why is it that we are ending up with the “good” ending up with the “not so good”? Or is it our biased judgment?

Our one hour or so chat failed to provide answers to these important questions. Perhaps some of you may have some plausible explanations but the idea is that the issue of relationships is not as easy as most of us thought it was. Some crazy friend of mine wonders as to how people nicely combine work and a relationship without having to drop the other. While that might be an exaggeration, I understood him taking it from the fact that it is hard to maintain such things as modern day relationships in the transition between college period and work or in the early stages of one’s career. That is my observation, anyway and you have the right to question it.

The issue of the longevity of relationships raises another question of whether we still have that thing called commitment in our midst as young people. Without fear or favor, I should point out that there are some men out here who are out there for trophy hunting as they aim at hitting as many ladies as they can just as there are ladies who are willing to let any guy do anything to them for reasons ranging from pleasure to financial benefit. That is why Twin M’s “Single” song started with the “mkazi ndi mfiti, mamuna ndi galu” line. There are many are living in the fear of being used and dumped or being robbed in the broad daylight in the name of a relationship. I don’t even know if there is a cure for this sort of paranoia.

Then there are those that are waiting for God’s time. And then there are those who start a relationship only to end it a week later after discovering that they are in it with the wrong human. There are also those who have never been single for more than a week ever since they tasted their first relationship when they were 15. Won’t talk about those who cheat. There are those who give and receive green lights with no tangible results.  Nonsenu tikukuikizani mmapemphero.

Lessons? As you can see, I do not have answers to these things so I can hardly share lessons here. The little I can say is that a better society starts with you. If you are in a relationship, cheating is a non-starter. Try to make it spicy one day at a time while building up to the big thing. If you are old enough to be reading a Richie Online article, you should know that this “wadya balalikani” rampant sex thing is not for you. If you are single and still haven’t spotted a potential target like yours truly, I must say that you are in a bit of trouble and you need to be seriously thinking about plan B. Some of you will take this for granted but Richie was serious when he was writing this.

My birthday is coming up on Monday, anyway. We are accepting gifts from today to the first of June. Cookers, smart phones, kitchenware…. Chilichonse ndithu. Gold, myrrh and frankincense, eti?

Happy long weekend.