Exit 2014, Enter 2015

The year comes to an end. It is an undeniable fact that there is some sort of euphoria around with regard to the New year’s day. To me, it raises the question as to why people celebrate the New Year’s Day. Much as I cannot say I grew up in the village, I can comfortably say I spent a big chunk of my time there and in my home village every new Year’s day means a good afternoon’s dance of manganje at some place popularly known as kudambo. It is celebration time, and
I have nothing against that. We just have to celebrate; I mean, it is the festive season. On the other hand, I feel like there has to be more to this than just celebrating.

Some might ask why entering a new year should be a bit more of a big deal than just the gin and pork we take. In chapter 90 and verse 12 of the book of Psalms the author prayed to the LORD that He should teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom. We therefore need to move from the thinking that years are just numbers and need to think of them as markers; markers to the ends of eras and the beginning of brand new ones.

This reality brings us to the fact that we need to evaluate the year 2014 and of course make plans for the year 2015. The sad reality we have is that most of us do not sit down to draft what we are looking for in a year so evaluating the year becomes a bit less meaningful, but that can change starting with the next year.

But is it necessary to be thinking about goals and plans for the next year as a whole? Someone might ask. Again we go back to the Bible which clearly says on Proverbs 29:18 that where there is no vision, people perish. The word of God is clear there so if you cannot write a plan for the year, you at least need to have a vision of what you want to achieve in the year and to write it down so that you can find something as a standard for evaluating the year when you get to the end of it. Main point is that you need to have a direction as you are going into the new year, setting goals in your academics, career, finances, marriage and relationships and above that your spirituality. Think about where you are and where you want to take yourself and above that where you want to be when 2015 ends; and then figure out ways of getting there.

When we start a New Year there is whole lot of talk about New Year’s resolutions and things in those lines. They are not a bad idea, but in view of what I have just said to do with vision, these things have to be as realistic as possible. We have to understand that problems will not just disappear just because the 4 on the number of the year has been replaced by a 5. I also don’t think they would change because of some prophecy. Conditions change when people work to change them and you are responsible for your own life, so right from the start think about your own life and what you can do to improve it in the coming year. In other words, don’t make empty resolutions but have a vision and to that vision add a plan of how you will bring your vision to realization but most importantly add ACTION to your plan because without it the plan becomes useless.

I read one Facebook post which reminded people to be SMART when setting their goals for 2015; meaning that the goals have to be Specific, Manageable, Achievable, Realistic and Time bound. No additions to that.

Lastly, as I wish you all God’s best in the New Year, I would like to echo what every reasonable being who likes to play dad on everyone has been saying.

ENJOY RESPONSIBLY.

Back to my Writing Ways

I happen to be on a couple of social networks, but Facebook is, for some reason the one that I use the most. That is where I can freely express my mind on the many issues that cloud my mind without fear. I don’t post offensive posts anyway.

I personally like Facebook. It has connected me with some important people who have left a mark on my life. It is also one of those things that keeps me connected to friends who are outside the country, being allergic to things like Skype and all.

There is one bad side of using Facebook, though. However small the number of friends you have may be, they are always too many. Surprised? Maybe you should wait for the explanation. Like any other typical account, mine has friends which range from family members, schoolmates, atsogoleri, role models and those people who just throw random requests (and are accepted when I am half awake  on my Facebook account). Well, that becomes the audience for whatever you post and for some reason that becomes a bit of  a problem. People see things they are not supposed to see and you might get into hot soup. Let’s not go to the point where people misinterpret what you say.

One of the things I find irritating, however, is the tendency to provide offline responses to Facebook posts. Much as I have done that to some people, and I am not proud of that, I feel like people over-do that with my posts. Each and every time I open for a new semester I have people around who come just to respond to something I posted on Facebook, which to me doesn't sound logical.

Mark Zuckerberg is a genius. He made sure that as long as I have space to post my stuff, every single one of my friends should have a space to give their view on my view. For some reason, some people do not just know how to use that but rather prefer to come to you personally to give their ‘response’. Obviously something I do not like. Tip? If I say something online, and I hope many are with me on this, respond to it right online. If you do not like going public, then just respond using some private message. Koma zisafike ku phone yanga.

Anyway, the whole point of all this writing is that I do not like people commenting on what I write online unnecessarily when we meet.

There was, however, an exception this weekend. I was walking around Kabila Tavern when I met one cyber friend of mine. Don’t get distracted with the name of the place we met. That’s just where we met and there is no other way of describing the place. Where we were coming from or going is also not relevant to this so we may ignore that on purpose.

This gentleman had a very good message to me. Actually it was from one of the church leaders. It was meant for me, but for one reason or the other he did not know that it was meant for me, so he was giving it to me as some sort of conveyor.

Again, I got distracted. What was so interesting about our chat was that he gave some positive feedback on my Facebook feeds. Now, here is someone who has does not comment on the stuff. That tells me one thing. The lack of comments on a Facebook post does not mean people do not see it. Lesson to us all.

Well. The gentleman went on to ask as to why I do not write. I did not answer that, because the reason I do not write is pure laziness. It is probably because I don’t have the feeling that people would be reading what I write.

I created my own blog years back, posted some few things, and when I saw that it did not have that much of an audience(it has two followers and has registered 425 views, half of which I think are my own), I abandoned it. It probably is time for me to resuscitate it and write some things, for the sake of those who can read the stuff.

What will I be writing on?

Well. Whatever comes to mind will be written. But it will obviously be good.

Richard Kamwezi's Valentine's Day Supplement

14th February. That is the day which happens to be Valentine's Day, according to my sources, and yes, I said that. According to my sources at least, because none of my calendars shows a red print among black for the 14th of February. I was trying to think of whether that was a reason, or maybe and excuse enough for me to spend my day normally on this day which is highly regarded by lovebirds from all over the world, and most importantly some in my inner circle. I, fortunately found an answer. I always do anyway. I find answers, and it was far too obvious that I initially thought. I actually have a reason, and not an excuse!!! Great. Let's get it then.

Ideally, some of you would expect this to be something more complicated. Well, it is not. It’s as simple as "I don't have a girlfriend". Period! I know that at this point people are having two rather unpleasant thoughts about me now. The other part of the readership is thinking that I am despising Valentine's day due to the fact that I haven't found my better half yet, while the rest are thinking that by saying that I am single I am marketing myself or trying to buy the sympathy of ladies. Nice thinking, but you are all wrong, anyway. I know many people would not believe this. I don't expect them to, anyway, but much as my current status has been influenced by circumstances, I can comfortably say a big percentage of it is by choice. Weird, huh? Whatever. We all have friends who act weird in a way, anyway, do we not?

That was a bit of digressing. Back to the issue at hand. Valentine's Day. Being the kind of man I am will mean that the only special thing about this day for this year is that t is a Friday, now for some reason I love Fridays. A Friday is the only part of the week when I have my life back to myself, if you know what I mean, so for the Valentine's Day, or whatever people call it, I will be in my room, playing my songs. Maybe on Fruity Loops and maybe on some series. Studying in the worst case scenario. Now I am not writing this to discredit someone who will be at some poolside with his or her loved one. I am a nicely mannered young man, and sometime in my upbringing someone told me the Chichewa saying ukapanda mano usamaswa phale. They went on to tell me what that meant too, so I won't start writing about how clueless someone is to be spending valuable time and money celebrating Valentine's Day just for the fun of it. I know people have to do that, but I am a doctor in training, and I'm taught never to say never, which means I won't rule out cluelessness on other people’s part.

On a positive hand, I have to say it is nice to spend time with a loved one on days like these ones. Unfortunate for some of us, we will be alone. Not an issue for my kind of man. Swazi you might say. Well, whichever way people define that word, which I must confess not to like, I feel like I am not that. Actually it is for a simple reason. Something to do with what my brother Friday Odala told me. "Swazi is just one term. You believe it, you become one". Well, I believed him, and single as I am, I am not one of those called by that name.

With many people taking the Valentine's day as a special day and spending preponderant resources in gifts and time (I value my time so much), a person like me can't help to wonder whether the whole thing is worth it or not, and those of you who know me would easily decipher which side my single brain is on this one, but don't get it wrong. It is not because I hate relationships. It is just that I don't like the way people handle them.

At some point, I remember having written some kind of lamentation, after observing the fast rate at which people were breaking up from relationships and the increased turnover rate for partners, and yes, that was in my friends. That was one time that I almost lost interest in this relationship and dating business and I almost concluded that it doesn't work. Well, I was wrong. It really does work, but for some very few people. Very few. As a relationship is something that requires fuelling from two people, it kind of makes me wonder whether it is possible to really find someone with who one can synchronously work to fire up a relationship that can work out to the ideal.

Ideal? Someone might ask, and yeah. There is an ideal. I believe in the possibility and existence of ideal situations and I believe that every relationship needs to have a common end point, and that that shouldn't be a Facebook post infested breakup, but rather an honorable marriage. I didn't have to be a believer to know that. That was just common sense to me, but unfortunately common sense is not that common nowadays, so know people are cursing me for what I said here. Zanu zimenezo, but I said it.

What am I driving at, then? What I am saying, if I am to put it in simple terms is the simple piece of advice that you don’t have to be celebrating over something not worth celebrating, like a clueless relationship, or the one that has a certainty of a catastrophic end. I am not saying that all relationships should end up in marriage.  Would have said that if I wanted to, but that is not my point for now, because I know things happen. What I am saying is that people need to go into relationships with some degree of certainty of what might happen in the near future, otherwise it is meaningless for a person in the twenties and above to be having a wadya balalikani kind of relationship and to be calling that a life; and above all, to be celebrating Valentine’s day with it. That is what I have always and will always to preach against. If you are to climb an anthill and start announcing about your relationship, or if you are to go to that photo shoot that it at Mount Soche for this lovebirds day, you better be sure that it is worth it, otherwise we will laugh at you. And mind you, when you make those shows with those uncertain relationships, people record, and anthu amakono akakhwatcha sakhululuka.

Fellow single people. Let us dignify ourselves. I personally don’t find it a thing of dignity for a person who is single to be all over his or her Facebook timeline, directly or indirectly crying like a little baby over a Valentine’s Day mate. What for? This goes, especially to the men, who have the more control over the situation; relatively; at least than their lady counterparts. That doesn’t serve as an exoneration for the ladies, though. Behave yourselves. Don’t show us that you are desperate, otherwise we will believe you, and for some reason, nowadays, people don’t like desperate partners. Gwirani, gwidwani. Mupeze otuluka naye. And remember, single days are a gift from God.

Let us also not spoil others’ day by making them feel as outcasts for the fact that we are not joining them. If you can’t acknowledge them for the fun they are having, how do you expect to join them? I know most of us don’t like admitting it, but we all need that someone we could be in love with. I personally can’t wait for the day I will finally be in a relationship, koma osati ngati zinazi. I mean a good one. Let us wish our fellows in the double side the best as we work on ways of getting out of the singles side.

One more thing. Let us not get things twisted. Valentine’s Day is for spouses. I am personally not buying excuses like ‘I will be celebrating with my mum’. We got Mothers’ Day for that, so if you don’t have anyone to go out with, don’t shame yourself with such ‘unclever’ (I wanted to say stupid) scapegoats.

A HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL THOSE CELEBRATING. KEEP THE LOVE UP!!!