Friday Sobriety

As an avid reader of this extremely esteemed online pulpit, it is an honour  to finally have a chance and paste something. A chance that wouldn't have been there had our antiquated electricity company was functioning according to the needs of this Lunzu exotic herbalist who happens to count this blog as among things on the list of his fledgling personal will. Many have lamented how their plans have been devilishly vexed by the myopic water-reliant statutory organization, and aplenty have stories ranging from abstinence of bathing, prolonged rate of buying new KVs, stale pork in fridges, unreliable village-of-the-art battery gadgets, and the emergence of know it all electricity generation experts roaming around privately owned media houses, of course. It won't be long when we will exhaust every possible tirade of the immoral dictionary, we will get tired then make it a highlight on our DNA.. but to quote one good headless executive from the parastatal, 'we should brace ourselves for more pains in the coming months.'

Listening to some quarters, the problems that this 52 year old dependent nation has been tailing reflect the calibre of citizenry we have groomed over the years. One Western economic assessment has rightly put us rock bottom of the worst in terms of income levels per capita, in short the poorest country in the solar system. Having electricity woes, therefore, shouldn't be our major concern because according to the tax-eating NSO, only 9 souls out of 100 citizens sleep under the lights. Bluntly, only a fraction working class are the ones making noise that blackouts are their new nightmares. The rest of the peasant folk are still on the cutting-edge of empty stomachs, nor do they have adequate sanitation facilities. Well, electricity isn't our daily meal.

The president we have should continue using private jets on his projected month-long sojourn to the UN General Assembly. Let's hope he hasn't taken the whole Ngolongoliwa chiefdom on board. That's the problem... lack of imaginative leadership. We wouldn't be sober on Fridays had our so-called politicians had the zeal to put policies in place for long term economic growth. We are crying that the lake and its major tributary where we generate the entire magetsi has become obsolete. But we should've known by now that that was a possibility bearing in mind the climate change. We plan for per annum instead of planning  for entire life. The population has been increasing yet we still have the same ancient zitsulo for propelling kinetic energy into electricity, the zitsulo that old Kamunkhwala of Kasungu installed on Shire. I guess this calls for a new paragraph....

Well, the original 'Ngwazi' must have lain a foundation for both social and economic prosperity because whenever we would like to bask in the glory of being unfortunate holders of Nyasaland citizenship we always tend to regurgitate those days MCP was the only officially recognized party. There has never been anything worth celebrating in the last 2 decades plus half a dozen years... maybe bar the obvious netball triumphs, a sport played in less than 40 countries a cross  the universe. I hear that you can literally pay 0 tambala just to watch the cream of the country's netball at BYC, pity. It was during Kamuzu's reign that even the smouldering soot we fondly call the Flames tasted football glory. Over the years we have tried every mtsitsi including kuviika mu nsupa the FIFA donated synthetic grass at the mortally dilapidated soccer Mecca, to no avail. The spasmodic wins over minnows like Swaziland are mentioned in political campaigns as gaff'ment achievements. Maybe that's why even the Pope,  St John Paul II, chose to grace his holy feet at the dustier than sahara Njamba  Freedom Park during those days. Perhaps the value of 'cha m’mbale' today will embarrass the Vatican than it would have done in the good bounty 80s, after all we are now blessed with more holier major and minor prophets alike roaming in all unreachable places including buses- they too need cha m’mbale for spiritual survival (MRA should put VAT on all temple offerings tione ngati sikukhala kusala zakudya in retaliation). After all the value of the Kwacha has nosedived wickedly towards matching the previously worthless Zim Dollar. This is partly due to the uncertainties in prices over our major forex earner, the green gold that people smoke. We are blinded by its smoke that we can't realize it's high time we get rid of tobacco and explore other viable cash-crops that the 80% strong agricultural workforce can manage. No more cigarettes, we need industrial hemp to satisfy the lung quenching of Rastas.

We pride ourselves as being a god-fearing nation, alright, God with capital G, but its clear the fake 'Ngwazi' wasn't lying at all. To quote in verbatim (as required by the blogger's choice of lingua-franca), he said 'the devil is sitting on our backs... '

We know how our useful but grammar-stunted media analysed that locution, ergo, I won't play punditry lest I may be taken as the departed Kahuna's staunchest zealot. What is certain, however,  is that the system we have has been contaminated by the devil. Talking of which,  the financial system with a spine of the so-called account no. 1, alias, IFMS, was tampered by the same long-fingered god-fearing fellows. Blessed is this two year partying party with orange keys to hell that we now have a new marcopolo at the indefinite closed Luanar, library burners Mzuni, and that Chinese manufactured University which has promised to introduce 'Bachelor of Science in Herbal Medicine (BSchem).' We can't think of weaning ourselves from donors when we let a few misguided Malawians go without a leash after stealing, what!! billions. Our courts don't bite the rich.

There is a good chance that the one Atcheya will start a forced medical retirement after seeing a previously tight case be wasted by greed, there is no case they say... he will walk again on water....  It will matter very little had we (of course not me) put Ntcheu-based self-styled Abusa Hellen Singh on the Kamuzu Palace throne, nor that pumped up medical professor who nowadays whisper in the same political artery as the so-called DziPPani, adalandira chisikono a dotolo.... we keep repeating same things expecting miracles, as if magetsi will suddenly become available. Let's get rid of this presidential democracy where power is concentrated at Capital Hill. The system we have does make almost all institutions that ensure transparency and accountability mere passengers, toothless to the core. We concentrate on trivial things than on real issues...

Issues like hearing our good president being celebrated by one questionably reputable international organization with an award for outstanding leadership and development consciousness. We wonder what kind of leadership has he offered that can call for champagne, perhaps for admitting that we experiencing hunger. It's  trivial when you consider I have heard about his latest Manhattan triumph while the candle is in its twilight. Would have wanted rather to be reading a new post from the budding MD had we had visionary leaders, had the populace been overly critical of what mediocre policies they bring. Lucifer enjoys our backs....


NOTE
This article was written by one of the readers of Richie Online who contributed on condition of anonymity. Sounds like a learned person, though.

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