RHETORICAL NONSENSE

with the failed prophet, only known as Hope

It's always a pleasure to, again, contribute on this forum, myself being an avid reader of innumerable informative and educative snippets pasted here every Friday, and most recently, on odd days.

Only some few 360 hours to run down the 2016 clock, it dawned on me of how incredibly these few remaining hours occupy a large chunk of our exciting yearly moments. The inevitable Christmas razzmatazz is allowed to penetrate deeper into many a worker's fat pockets, which a few days before were screaming with useless pentangular coins. Everyone knows that Christmas is an invaluable ritual that should not only be observed with an antipathetically arranged but tithing rewarding Church services but also with a crate of Kuchekuche; thus  a few days of rest after a tiring year won't kill. Perhaps more for those who are noble workers of the largest employer, the government. They will have to rest their limbs for a good three weeks, according to a hastily-edited press release from Kamuzu Palace. And we hear the  squalling of the briefcase Civil Societies and renegade opposition political zealots to  any ear that cares [Zodiac always care for these renegade and has paid a terrible price to MACRA] to listen that public service delivery is at the lowest ebb of mediocrity. And social-economic statistics by various financial whipping organs like the IMF have painted a gloomy tale that our agro-based economy is planets away from salvation. Briefly, the economic policies and social service delivery have not yielded anything to improve the life of someone living in a shanty hut kwa Mtopwa. Seriously, why do you give a civil servant a fortnight of snoozing when in fact he will knock on the HR manager's  door to claim his legitimately 1 month rest as per normal labour laws in the coming months? What we want to have is a government that rewards workers but also stands tall to gas out any benefits if the input rendered has not been satisfactory. Satisfaction is when civil servants have telescopic contracts that evaluate regularly their performance for efficiency. For example, I was by default watching MBC news last week just to get on the same page with the robust activities of   our dear DPP gaff’ment, and one senile looking Headteacher was commending efforts by a private company which had bought some pine wooden desks for the souls who digest the books there. He proudly highlighted that the donation will improve the quality of education and that both teachers and pupils are geared to improve an ancient record of not producing even a bare pass in Maneb exams. And this fella and his comrades will make noise when the paying master overlooks their accounts by just a couple of days, yet with minimum resources they can’t remove the cobwebs in the cerebrums of peasants’ children. Such lackadaisical workmanship should be arrested and uprooted. I also mean that the civil service should get rid of our grandfathers who should have retired at the dawn of multiparty but are still gnawing their toes as if they are the eighth wonder of the world. Retirement age has never been enforced in Malawi, perhaps because we are used to the idea that there is wisdom in ancient things. No wonder we voted for an old man who had been forced by laws to retire in America.

Now that we don’t care that one is using a walking stick so long as he can deliver a well memorized speech to maintain his post, just last week our esteemed Finance and Economic Planning minister, was celebrating becoming an octogenarian. His head, which should have been preserved at the museum, is now tasked with regurgitating the failed economic policies he learned when Sir Glynn Jones was governor of Nyasaland and apply them on the sinking ship we proudly call the warm-heart of Africa. He is still viewed as an authority in the sector but that respect will dwindle into ashes as the try and error policies the government is using keep backfiring on their noses. We still remember he is the same guy who confessed that our economy is in the hands of God and we should consider 40 days of  fasting to resuscitate it. Various commentators challenged him and asked him to resign, the rhetorical machine, however, twisted to say it was just a slip of a wine drenched tongue. No one protested further. He should have been retired. It is certain that we are  passive Malawians and  seemed to be extra redundant especially when the propaganda machinery has been employed. We seem to accept rhetorical nonsense that they can throw in our ears. I won’t talk about that long winded speech by one good fake professor, the Reverend president. His impassioned well articulated sermon will fall on the deaf ears once again, and we have already seen how the DPP have paraded some misguided chiefs, ungodly fellow reverends, social analysts from recently unaccredited colleges and recycled politicians to MBC to find errors in the speech, chasing shadows.

Well Access to Information Bill that awaits the Big Kahuna's signature will surely change the tone of misinformation we are used to now. The Bill should have been one of the few things that the country should have taken to the streets for and not recent big walks about abortion and same sex marriages that infested major streets of Malawi. We spent a lot of time discussing trivial things, with all due respect to the cause. Abortion or no abortion is something that needs sober reflection rather than to go beyond our priorities, which are just too many. That the government want to amend the law is a fact, but our religious institutions seem to have realized their moral teachings are falling on deaf ears. Instead of forcing the hand of government they should adapt their dogmas to reflect the changing worldview. This is not 100 AD by the way. That as it may, the political spectrum of our country hasn’t evolved much to suit modernity. It’s high time the citizenry became vigilant and denounce neo-ethnic political structure taking root.

It’s only in Malawi where a Bill prepared/reviewed by the same government is vehemently trampled upon by the same entity because they realize they will be under scrutiny if it see light of the day. In other words, they feel their own manifesto is not palatable for the country. Looking closer at the ATI Bill, only 3 eMuPs for the government sided with opposition while the rest felt the bill is not good for the country. And usual innuendoes were echoed by  a shameless misinformation minister claiming that the government was all along supporting the bill. The point is that we care to talk a much about mediocrity and allow dunderheads to clarify statements that are already lucid. Our failures in Malawi are largely due to ineffective policies that are well publicized but lacking critical mechanization for implementation. We have spent the year talking about issues without showing the same zeal to talk of solutions. The year which at tail's end, we spent weeks  lamenting Escom's failures, days went by mourning the killings of albinos, argued for hours on the definition of ‘robust health,'  and cried on the skyrocketing prices of goods and taxes. By the way, no one cares that sugar prices have been revised by 9.9%. All because we would rather laugh at one Billy Mayaya for demonstrating on his own against Escom, or better call Winiko a lunatic for his comedy of nudity. Yet we throng en masse with our spiritual fathers and prophets to rue over homosexuality. We crave to get the worst services available and applaud  nonsensical rhetoric explanations.

Going forward, its good to write or talk what you can’t do, but changes should always begin with you. This past week, the Vice President, whom I’m informed, drove himself to and from the stadium to watch Wanderers triumph in a small bonanza, sent some few district officers away because they came very late and that some did not wear clothes befitting the function. Reforms they say. Its something we can learn from, discipline is important for a successful endeavor. Similarly, if we can discipline our ears and get rid of those comrades who have nothing to say but just waste our time, we can forge ahead in life. Gossip is a vice

Good weekend folks.

Sorry readers, but management doesn't know much about Hope. All we know is that he have us articles on the Friday Sobriety and Trump's victory. We are yet to know why he hides his real identity.