The Bachelor's Chronicles

It is yet another good Friday and this is the first Richie Online (I think we should change this name, though) post with Richie himself. Yeah. I couldn’t have left this to some failed prophet or to the resident lawyer.

This first post signifies a new beginning for the blog this year for reasons that may or may not be explained depending on whether I get carried away with my narrative or not. For some reason, I have made it a point that articles should be prepared by Thursday or by 6 am latest owing it to my not so flexible schedule in the New Year. In fact I have dedicated this whole piece to telling you how exciting life is in the New Year. I know some are frowning at this because they are used to reading the all serious posts from this blog. Please, people. Sometimes it is good to keep a Friday a Friday. There are college students here, who spend their week reading Chang or Lenninger or some books on Insurance. We also have that group of people we happily call civil servants and another interesting group of people called job seekers (entrepreneurs and politicians are mad that I haven’t mentioned them). All these need a break from reality and sometimes we need to be generous enough to do the needful.

I do not think I managed to send Happy New Year Messages to all of you. Happy New Year, guys. I hope this year brings in some financial breakthroughs for you. Of course I hope that the prosperity will come along with the realization that Richie Online needs some funding for its weekly undertakings and the desire to act on such a revelation.

Unlike any other New Year I have gone into, 2017 feels really new and it is because this year seems to be all about a great transition. For the past two years, I unrealistically wrote in my plans that I wanted to achieve financial independence, but that was as much as it could go. This year, however, I just feel like I am obliged (or rather I will be forced) to come to the realization of this because of the situation I have put myself in.

Some of you who follow the person behind the articles may know that I transitioned into being an exotic herbalist (Hope’s way of saying medical doctor) based at the “fancy” Queen Elizabeth Central hospital. That came in as a relief because I was tired of answering the question as to when I was finishing medical school or s to where I was working when in fact I was still in school. The burden is now relieved.

Being a Blantyre based person (if you are the sort of person who believes that Lunzu is part of Blantyre and not Mwanza as I think), many thought I would be operating from my parents’ in Lunzu. Me and my dad had other ideas, though and for that reason I ended up moving out of the house on day 3 of my work. A lot of “black history”  (find out what black history is; I am sure the urban dictionary has  nice explanation) has happened in between the first of December (when I started work) and now, but the summary is that I have ended up in some humble abode in Chitawira from which I write this epistle.

Ideally many would expect someone who is moving out at my stage to stay with some buddy for a little while before moving out and starting a solo home. Well. Me and a few other people who are major shareholders in my life decided that it was good to go solo from the word go. That was the birth of the bachelor phase of my life. Pretty interesting, this one.

I feel so compelled to share about my daily experiences but I have just noted that the more I am open and honest with people, the more funny ideas they develop about me. That being said, I will not talk about how life is as originally planned, but rather how people responded or reacted when I shared a piece of my life with them.

I recently made a couple of posts on my social networking accounts (one on Facebook and the other on Twitter) on how life is. The two posts got me under scrutiny with people questioning my sanity (and some my relationship status… Mumdziwe Ambuye ndi akuphunzira ache omwe). In the longer Facebook post, I was just narrating on how I can wake up and stay for hours without speaking to anybody as there is no one around in the home. I must say I intentionally added an element of humor to it (which one Zaziwe failed to grasp) but the level of reaction to the post was just through the roof, which I didn’t expect. On a lighter note, I found my boss laughing at the post at work. At least someone had gotten what that was about (despite the fact that there was some truth in it).

The tweet? It was hatched when I was bored with the long wait for a turn to pay for my goodies for the “lunch yamadzulo” and breakfast for the next day. While on the queue on the till (pa Peoples ya pa Chitawira ija) I noticed that there were guys around the same age as me who had baskets with contents similar to mine; a couple of sausages (or chicken wings), doughnuts for breakfast, a packet of First Choice or Ching’ombe milk and for some a bottle of Chibuku (ati kuli cha chocolate masiku ano…. Koma zidakwa inu…). That sort of shopping is only done by a person who does not have a “cooler” and it is usually done bachelors. Usually daily. So… What did I post? I cannot remember the exact words, but I mentioned something to do with me being able to recognize who is married and who not from just checking their shopping basket. Reaction? Another outburst of laughter.

Interestingly, these are realities that are with us today. Some of you are in school and you will have to go through this. You might have to start life on a very low note, leaving the comfort of the parents’ house where you have everything to your own place where you hardly have anything. No TV. No fridge with nice food and thobwa (I miss that). No company. Just nothing. Sounds like a sad life, but it is very possible to enjoy every moment of it because it makes you grow, in one way or the other.

The fact that I will walk out of this bedroom to an empty living room which we could comfortably play football on with my friend Max makes me think more about the future and how best I can go about filling it; selling one kidney, robbing a bank, starting  business and all. Got options lined up for this.

On the other hand, this slice of bread I call my mattress on this narrow bed hardly gives me any ideas of inviting a companion anytime soon in this little abode of mine. All in all, I am happy here.

I am the atypical bachelor of Chitawira at some point I feel like dragging one Thomas Chibade to court. That man once misled the nation when he sang a song titled “Ndiowawa ubatchala” but I can say I have all evidence to the contrary. I don’t think that I and all the other fellas with whom I buy Chibuku cha chocolate are feeling the pain Che Nkhumba talked of in his song. Ndizokoma, nginizi.

So, what do we learn from all this? Probably nothing, but we could just say life is what you make.

Ndi mmene waimvelera, pa Chichewa chomveka bwino.