Friday, 27 December 2019

2019 Lessons

It is the last Friday of 2019 and we had to cap it off with an article despite being late for it. It has been a busy day and local man could hardly get the time for it. Well. Here he is at 20:46 hours, writing about the year thus gone while cooling himself with a cold one.

A couple of days ago, one human posted a WhatsApp status update prompting us to share what 2019 taught us. For some reason, I went on to write “parte after parte” after the popular song, titled Party after Party. My response was ignored for a very good reason, but the rude response didn’t mean I did not learn anything this year. In fact, I learnt one very important thing; moyo siophweka. If I am to put it in simple English, life is not straightforward.

Those of you know me in an up close and personal, you would know that I am that one person who like to get everything I want the way I want. Not getting it implies frustrations on my end and this year had been punctuated by little frustrations with little victories to dampen them out. All in all, I would say that this was a very good year because beyond my own little achievements I have seen my friends rise to the point where they are getting better livelihoods. Getting better jobs, getting married, having children, getting post-graduate admissions, graduating with all sorts of papers, quitting (and starting for others) alcohol and everything else that can be celebrated.

I will share a little recap of the year for me as that could give me a very good ground for setting pace for the article. This year I changed houses twice. I will let you think of whether that was good or not. At the end of this year, I have made a decision I never would have imagined a couple of years back; I will be hanging up the stethoscope for good to nosedive into the jungle of research. This, however is something that has just popped out. For those of you who follow these scribblings, you will know of the article in which I mentioned that on a day like this, last year I posted the three things that I would want to do in 2019; quit alcohol, lose weight and get married. If you have been following what I wrote in the first paragraph, you could note that I have miserably failed on the first one; with an explanation. I feel a bit fat from all the Christmas eating, but I think that can be sorted after the festivities. Let us take a minute to discuss the more important issue of getting married, though.

Of course I did not mean that I wanted to get married in its literal sense when I made that post. You do not start a year and get married before it ends, in my view, unless otherwise. I will leave you to imagine the “otherwise” part. The bare minimum I wanted was to get someone I can marry in 2023. I have come to realize that I have miserably failed in that because with a few days remaining in the year, there are days that pass without me getting a phone call or the important “I wanted to check on you” text from a potential suitor. I was about to start complaining about this but I was silenced by people who have since pointed out that I am not very good with communicating my feelings with others and so I might remain single for the next five years if I do not put a whole lot of effort in my social endeavors. That brings us to the first class I had along the moyo siophweka lines.

Communication is not as straightforward as some of us might think. You might think you are sending a perfect message that will be perfectly decoded in the same way you packaged it in your frontal cortex. For some reason, that same message may be perceived in its perfect opposite sense at the point of reception. I have had struggles with this issue both as a sender and recipient of communications this year. At some point, I found myself looking at some people as “not-so-friendly” humans only to understand what their raised voices meant well… but months later. I have sent hostile messages to people, showing them the exit door from my life only to see them coming back with an irresistible smile. Then there is the painful part; trying to be chocolate nice to people only to be perceived as someone who doesn’t care.

Then there is the issue of interpersonal relationships. The complexity of the interaction between two people is already interesting. Add a third on to the mix, it reaches gargantuan proportions. Some of you might relate to this thing that you have friends that leave when your other friends leave. That is why we have this whole term; anzawo a anzathu. Friends of our friends. I am not saying that you need to make friends with all the friends of your friends, but they do not need to be enemies. This year of ruin, 2019, left me in a situation where I ended up being out of favor with some of my friends for siding with others and this messed up some of my most important relationships. At the end of the day, you tend to wonder whether you could have done something differently, but life has to go on, anyway.

Under the same issue of interpersonal relationships is the issue of personal expectations from friends. I have seen people go out of their waters to help me when I least expected it and when I thought I did not deserve it. I have also seen people not come through on what I expected from them despite a serial lowering of my personal expectations from people. Great expectations create frustrated men, they said. You have to believe that to a greater extent. Nkhani ija ndiyoona. I am pretty sure I have been on both ends of the spectrum on this one too; been on the side of not meeting expectations for some and been on the overkill for others. I guess such is life.

There is this other issue of managing finances> I am not too sure how others manage to work this out but somehow this seems to be something that is very difficult to juggle. Others have written that the natural instinct of a human is to increase spending once income increases. It gets to be surprising that someone who knows this and is supposedly equipped with the mind tools to counter the same would happen to be struggling. I seriously need tips on this from those of you who have mastered the art of financial management. Books are welcome.

Having said all that, the lesson that life is not as straightforward as we would want it to be will go a long way in helping me plan my accidents and expect surprises from all angles of life. Having sat down to reflect on all this, I have come to the conclusion that I will leave the new decade to manage itself with its twists, curls and turns. No fancy plans about  life other than the regular things. It is about going to work, church and repeating; fitting the gym and the pub in the mix wherever necessary. Friends? Well. Let’s see who will be there and who will not. And of course, who we will be there for and who not. No deliberate efforts to cut out people. I mean, it might be a new year and new decade but I don’t think there will be much of a change in everything else. Nonetheless, those of you who would like to make “calendar-based” changes for the better, are welcome to do so.


Friday, 20 December 2019

Chronicles of a Loaner


A wonderful Friday.

It has been some time since I came on this platform to write about something. Part of it might be because I lost the motivation and drive for writing. That is a story for another day but I will tell you what motivated me to write this time.

Apart from the fact that I am a victim of people who take my little money in the name of borrowing, with no intention whatsoever of giving it back, I wanted to write because of two people who unintentionally played the guilt card on me. Akuti for being silent on the blog. One of these humans happens to be a known keen follower who has a bad habit of replying with the letter “x” (apparently that is shorthand for “thanks”, she tells me). She jumped on me all guns blazing last night asking me why I have been silent before following it up with that it would take for me to get back to my keypad warrior ways. Turns out that the answer was “nothing” but I am back here, anyway.

When I was gallivanting later in the night I met this wonderful human being who I learnt was a keen follower of what happens on Richie Online. Now, I happen to meet secret followers once in a while but this one was a bit of a surprise. Turns out he checks out the blog each and every Friday as he doesn’t get the links from me. I actually did not have his number until last night. Now that one chat with Phil was enough to make me retire from retirement and talk about all of you who get other people’s money without having the decency of paying back.

In 2019, many consider Facebook as an obsolete social media site with a preference to Twitter for banters, Instagram for pictures and WhatsApp for chats. Nevertheless, Facebook has remained popular for some of us because of one thing; groups. Prior to the 2014 general elections, a group called My Malawi My Views rose to popularity. It died a natural death after some time and it was succeeded by a number of groups which did not blow up like it did. In recent days, however, we saw a group called Stress Free Malawi come to the limelight. Now, if you are on Facebook and you like a good laugh, this is one group to check out. There will be those ones who will not joke without offending someone but hey, it is fun on the most part. Stress Free Malawi has endured a test of time but lately we have seen a utilitarian group that has the potential of displacing it as the most popular Facebook group in the land; Bwalo Loitanitsira Ngongole.

You may not be there but I think from the name you get the idea. If someone owes you something and they are not paying back, you post them there and tell them to pay back. I am wondering whether the group will be achieving its primary objective of helping people to recover their monies. At best, I think it is just a naming and shaming group and at worst I think it is pretty much the same.
The Malawi social media circus has its own heavyweights. If you go to Facebook, for example, you have people whose opinions are highly regarded. Talk of the Kelvin Sulugwes, the Thandie wa Pulimuheyas and the Henry Kachajes, these are people who have a huge following with lots of comments and shares to their posts. And then there is the Twitter Malawi community which has its own popular humans. One person of interest in this whole thing of this forum for calling out people who owe us money is one Nyamalikiti Nthiwatiwa. If you follow local poetry, this is the man behind the popular dziko liri mmanja mwa agalu poem. He is also an adept director of ceremonies and writer. On the inception of the group, Nyamalikiti wrote a long post on why he agreed with the whole thing of calling out names of people who have no remorse when they owe others money. He argued that the fact that people lend out money to friends does not actually mean that they have it in excess but rather that they care. If we do not give back, he said, we end up jeopardizing the plans that others have with their money. He concluded with saying that calling out to such people is necessary. Well. That was a strong opinion spiced with facts.

In the course of the year, I have had people come to me to ask for some soft loans in the same way I have asked for the same from friends when things got tough. It is supposed to be simple. You get a few thousand kwachas from a friend and once you get back on your feet financially, you repay. For some reason, this has been a problem with a lot of people (even with me once, although I actually told the person I was not going to give back her 30k easily). People would actually get your money, give you a day when they are going to give back, then not return it. Some would have the courtesy of giving you an excuse but others would just go silent.

The excuses? I did not get the payment I was expecting. I had another emergency. Tikuonanibe, and the list goes on. I understand that there are times that people find it hard to return money because they are in financial trouble but on the other hand what I have learnt is that there are some people who just don’t have the umunthu for this. Examples. Some guy pops up in your WhatsApp asking for some 100k and says he is going to return it at the end of the month. It is the fifth month of the year and the sixth and seventh go without him returning the money. And what does he do in the eighth month? Ask you for another 50k which he supposedly plans to return along with the 100 at the end of that month. I understand some of you can relate with this kind of experience. It was not surprising, then that someone came up with a saying that in Africa, when you borrow your friend money, you end up losing both the money and friendship. I have a few friends who are Pentecostal ministers and I have seen them write warnings about “kuwabwereka ndalama abale a mu mpingo”. To them, it is a bit safer to loan out money to a “non-believer”.

Despite the bad experiences I have had with people who are keeping ti ma 5 pin tanga, I have had some good experiences with people who owe me money too. Talk of this family that somehow ended up owing me a lot. They ended up giving me assurances that they will give me as soon as they are able to get it. Knowing how much of a financial struggle they were in, I decided to keep away from pushing for the money. Guess what happens? Each and every time they find a little something they give me a call and ask me to pass by to collect. At the rate they are going, it is going to take a year and ten installments, but I will at least get my money back. This is the kind of umunthu that we need to have from 2019 moving on.

So… People are not giving back what they owe. What have I resolved, then? Simple solutions. For those who took mteleshede and never gave back, they will never get any loans from me. They do come back, anyway and even when I have some to spare, I don’t feel the drive to help. Unfortunately, these other people have hurt me and I will have to bleed on others… if you know what I mean. I also fall for the temptation of not giving back, so I will restrain myself from borrowing. Kupewa maudanitu. Perhaps I should make use of the group and call out the annoying people who are not showing any signs of willingness to give back my money.

All this being said, we all fall into financial hurdles and we need help from others. Timabwereka ndithu. We all do it. Let us have it in us to give back what we owe others. Tisamadane chifukwa cha ngongole, hetini? Not giving back money you owe someone, to me, amounts to stealing. On that note, amene ndikusungira zake tionane kuseriku.

By the way... What does the word "wangongole" mean? Is it the one who gives out or the one who receives? Also... I confuse the words borrow and lend a lot. If I messed them up in this article, my excuse will be that I did not study the English language as extensively as I would have wanted to in college. Komabe mwamva.

Friday, 15 November 2019

You are what you Read. Or are you?


It is a Friday. A cold Friday, or so I think. If it is not, I am probably harboring some unwanted bacteria and viruses which are making me feel funny today. Nevertheless, I dragged myself to work for a number of reasons and having found a bit of a breather, I have found myself writing this post. Again, for a number of reasons.

In recent days and weeks, I almost made a resolution to abandon this blog and stop writing because I felt like it was hardly of any benefit. The readership has dropped drastically from the peak of over 150 views per article to a very miserable number I will not mention. If you have been reading, you would understand that a drop in the number of hits on an article is not enough to keep my fingers on the keypad considering how busy my brain can get at the end of the week. That brings us to the actual reason I wanted to do this. I have always used the blog as a hole in my brain; a vent through which thoughts, toxic and “non-toxic” alike would go through, nourishing others with wisdom on a rare occasion. Venting out my frustrations and sorrows through writing used to feel good, but of late I have lost the urge to do the same.

I spent the last two weeks in which I was absent from the scene thinking of writing an article aimed at disseminating the results of my abandoned social experiment. I however did not write it because I felt like I had not built up enough anger that would make the words come out in the best of arrangements. After a bit of introspection, I realized that the reason the anger did not come in was that it was not necessary in the first place. There we go, then. The results of the abandoned social experiment will never go to the masses and that will be three weeks of research wasted. That is not important, but the main point is just that I have lost the urge to vent. For a number of reasons.

The place I work in has a health and safety team that advises us on a number of issues that range from how to sneeze in the cold weather to how to extinguish a fire. My favorite from them is the advice on how we should not remain seated on the desk for too long, and how we should walk about in the office space in what they call health breaks. Naturally, I am the kind of person that can hardly remain seated in one place for more than an hour. Luckily, I am a Catholic and our mass service provides a bit of room for standing and kneeling which means I do not have to sit still through all the three hours of a high mass. At work, health breaks mean I can disturb a bunch of friends. On one of those episodes, last week something caught my attention when I visited a friend’s desk. He has a book with a title that suggested that we are what we read. Now that was something, because someone suggested that we are what we eat in those years. I am thinking that the contexts of these might be different, so I will let it slide and focus on humans being what they read.

I have always been a fan of reading. This, I think was sparked by the opening of a library at our primary school back in 2002. Now, this was not your typical urban primary school. This was a pure rural school that people liked to call Kapeya after the village in which it was built. Having a library there was pretty exciting and I began to read books on a whole lot of different topics; human geography books that described the lives of Eskimos in detail and the growing of rubber in Malaysia, fictional books, science books, life skills and pretty much anything people have been insane enough to put into a book. Just not poetry, though.

My reading culture continued when I crossed over to St Patrick’s, Mzedi. The place had a library which was stocked with books from old curricula along with a load of magazines and other books that had little if anything to do with school. In those days, they used to allocate periods for library reading on the time table and that was our time to enjoy the comic series “Tales from the Trigan Empire” from the nicely bound “Look and Learn” Magazines. Useless things, but we enjoyed them, anyway. And then we had the stories from the Step Ahead English language books that we had. By the time I was in my third term I had finished reading all the stories in all the books in the series. The other reads on the menu were the magazines from what we called the Chaplain’s library, a small library full of religious material (ironically one Harry Chikasamba was librarian in this one; if you know him, you know). Point? I continued to read widely in secondary school.

The reading culture was thrown under the bus when I joined the medical school. There the only non-academic thing I allowed myself to read was a text from my girlfriend but otherwise it was all anatomy, physiology, medicine, proctology, ophthalmology and things of that sort. But then college went and once again I was at it.

Having known a lot of people who were sitting under motivational speakers or were motivational speakers themselves, I had a lot of “good books” pass through my recommendation basket. I managed to read through a few of them and I liked the idea of reading about personal goal setting and financial planning. Guess what I liked more? Watching a movie and then going on to read a 300-page book about it. Over the years post-graduation, I have read a few books many of which have little to do with my work in clinical research and I think that is what makes reading fun. It reminds me of how I, at some point found myself reading about the murder at Sarajevo when I had a French exam on the next day and history wasn’t part of my subject list. I can be that careless with what I read.

My current research job demands that I stay up to date by reading the latest in the world of research. I have no issues with that and I pick up papers on what I could call a good interval. On the other hand, I find myself enjoying reading the Donald Trump Presidential Twitter Library (by Trevor Noah) or the World According to Clarkson. That sort of material can be captivating to read, if you know what I mean. That bring me to the other reason I read that widely. One person once mentioned that a person who never reads loses his ability to write and I think that is a vital point. I need to write so I need to read.

I was talking about how I wanted to drop this article of feeding a few readers with articles. Well. I got three reminders from people who were very eager to read what was going on through my mind today. They probably thought I was going to write about Suleiman or Mtambo, but those issues are too topical for me. I may not like to vent anymore, but I sure like to keep my writings more personal than topical. Here I am, writing article that will probably add no value to the two ladies and one gentleman who pestered me for it.

My ladies, my lord. You are what you read. Is this article worth it? Were your hostile text messages worth it?

All in all, the last thing I could say is that we all need to develop a  reading culture. And if the "you are what you read" statement is anything to go by, you need to choose your books wisely... and follow this link.

Have a Cypress weekend, everyone.

Friday, 25 October 2019

From my Memories: Frozy


Greetings.

It feels good to get back to writing ways after a week of absence. The circumstances that kept me from swinging the pen have been dealt with and I am back now. My only worry is that this article may not have the patronage it needs as I will not be able to share it on usual platform namely WhatsApp. Again, I have dealt with the reasons I am not on WhatsApp currently and my absence on the popular social network is just a matter of choice. It is good to take breaks from some social platforms, however inconvenient that may be.

I happened to be looking at my social feed earlier today. For some reason, Facebook has decided to give us an opportunity to revisit our memories from way back by recycling our posts. Probably one of the nicest features and one of the reasons I still find FB relevant to date.

So… What did I see? You are probably cooling down with a Fanta or Thumbs Up as you are reading this but you might remember the time that one drink took the market by storm. Yeah. Frozy. It was in 2016 when the drink made its debut on the market and quickly dislodged the traditional soft drinks as the best-selling drink. The reasons were simple, really. “Fulo” was an affordable drink which made it relatable to many. Who doesn’t like a cheap drink? And then there was the packaging. A nice 500 ml plastic bottle which could easily be reused to package a good dose of thobwa. The distribution? Well. It was as easy and straightforward as it could get. People could easily import it from Mozambique through whichever border and supply to vendors at their local trading center. Just like that and people from all walks of life were able to enjoy a nice drink from or neighbor in different flavors.

For some time, I had been skeptical to take the drink. My first time with it came when I met one Joe Wire (also known as Dr Joseph Mkandawire or Bambo Mkandawire) who was visiting a lonely soul in Lunzu. This was the time when we were transitioning from being medical students to being doctors. Long boring “holiday”, that was. Joe, for some reason was feeling hot after a long walk in the October sun and he couldn’t resist the urge to buy the two of us “Frozy wa green”. If my memory serves me right, he did not finish his drink and he ended up giving half of it to a kid who was passing by. For security reasons, I will not mention what happened to mine. Long story short, I managed to have a taste of the drink.

I was talking about what I saw on my Facebook memories feed this morning. Pepani, but I just had to introduce the issue before talking about the memories. I will continue digressing so that the memories can tie it all together. Shortly after the introduction of this Mozambican drink on the market, there were calls by the Malawi Bureau of Standards to ban it. Issues? Incorrect labelling and unsafe quantities of citric acid in the drink. Sounds familiar, right? Same here. Following the ban, MBS instructed all wholesalers and retailers to declare the amount of the drink in their custody for collection and proper disposal. Having known the trail from the manufacturer to the user, I doubted there were any people who made such declarations and that there was a single bottle of Frozy that was disposed through the bureau.

Following the ban, many took it to the social media to express their anger; the first group towards the ban of the drinks and the second towards the first group. The reason this came out for me is that there were three people from three different professions that commented on the drinks issue. Everyone drinks, anyway.

I will start with the programmer (or systems developer, as he may like to identify himself). He argued that the whole ban was a joke. In his view, MBS is not accredited on the international scene and had no say on such a thing as a Mozambican drink. Whether that line of reasoning was right or not should be left for another day, but to add some humor to it, he went on to say that what the bureau had done was more like an ugly guy calling an ugly girl ugly. Whatever that means. Hypocrisy, maybe.

Then came the other two who were in support of the ban, first the journalist (who I am told is on his way to the bar (judiciary thing, eti?) He came in and drummed support for the bureau of standards arguing that the guys are the ones who have been protecting us from substandard foods all along; and that if they said there was something wrong with the drink, then there was something wrong. He went on to say that if we needed some soft drinks, we could go on and buy the Fanta we had all been drinking for the past few “centuries”. To finish off, he called on MBS to ban Manica and Impala alcohol brands from Mozambique. We cannot be sure as to whether he was sober when drafting the post or whether he would own it to date, but he wrote what he wrote and somehow it made sense. We can argue as to whether MBS really protect us this evening when ESCOM loan us back the power we deserve.

The most relevant person to comment on this happened to be a nutritionist and ironically it happened to be the shortest of them all. In his two sentences, he talked of how MBS was only there to protect the lives of Malawians. He concluded by lamenting on how Malawians failed to grasp a thing or two about something as simple as food standards.

Despite some noises (there were no demonstrations and petitions, then), the ban remained sustained and the drink was taken off the market. People made video clips that showed them mourning the demise of Frozy, but that was all. Carlsberg Malawi raised the prices of soft drinks but with no competing Mozambicans sales remained relatively stable. It was later in February, 2017 that the ban on the drink was lifted, probably following adjustments to the labelling and citric acid content. The drink, however, did not bounce back with the same momentum it had initially come with on the market initially. That was probably due to the love of citric acid and other harmful chemicals in beverages by the local Malawians.

From my memories, I brought you a story of the politics and safety surrounding food and other products on the Malawian market. If you follow the activities of the bureau, you could also talk about the issue of selective application of regulations. I will not talk about that but this sort of relates to the last article on facts and opinions. It also related to the many times that I have used this pulpit to preach standards. Eeetu. Probably the most lesson deficient article in recent memory, but it has its own relevance. Looking at a couple of online articles I have learnt a few things on business, regulation, politics and safety. I cannot share those but I will leave it to you to figure them out.

Have a lovely weekend and for the few of you that will get this article through whichever means, do share it with others.

From the stone age (where there is no WhatsApp), I bring you dear reader… Frozy!

Friday, 11 October 2019

Of Opinions and Facts


It is another wonderful Friday and once again I had to put something together. I have to be honest with you that I had to force myself to put this together because of the surrounding negative energy. It is kind of hard to think of writing something positive when some things are not moving the direction you want them to move and when people are butchering each other in the streets. Nevertheless, I will use the remaining of my energy to shine a light on the darkness that is engulfing our country.

The papers and online news outlets are awash with news that members of parliament have passed the national budget that is pegged at around MK1.7 trillion. There were congratulatory messages extended to the members of parliament for passing the budget. I had my reservations when I heard the whole issue of the passing of the budget. In my view, this was just another effortless activity in which more than half the people who were involved rubberstamped a document, implications of which they do not understand.

A day before the passing of the budget, I had passed by my friend’s desk at work and found him looking through the health budget. When I stopped by, he started highlighting sections of the health budget statement that he considered dodgy; the military hospital, referral hospital in Balaka, purchase of ambulances, the completion of Phalombe district hospital and a few other votes. At the end of the day, I found myself patting me in the back for having not opened the budget statement which remains gathering dust in some folder in my computer; awaiting some general cleaning day when it will be deleted along with other documents that will be considered obsolete at the time.

Back to the issue of the passing of the national budget, I found myself wondering later last night, as to whether it was normal for me to have such resentment towards the passing of the budget. I mean, it is the national budget and that is what will fund state activities. It shouldn’t be held up that much and if anything, we should all be happy when it passes because only then will my parents who happen to be civil servants get paid. I found myself lacking the euphoria or neutrality that should come with the passing of the budget as I generally think that the debating of such a statement is cosmetic and hardly keeps the budget proposed by the authorities responsible in check.

Then there was the issue of the police officer who died in the line of duty while controlling rioting crowds at Msundwe in Lilongwe. Now this was an issue of people who closed the roads off, supposedly in a bid to block DPP supporters from going to the rally by HE at Kamuzu institute of sports. Worth mentioning is that on top of that, the Msundwe brigade as they are also called started to ask for money from passing motorists, creating panic. This is when the police stepped in to disperse the “demonstrators”.

When the pictures of the gruesomely murdered policeman, comments started to fly around in the social media. That was to be expected, anyway. We like to comment on things as they happen. The general observation, however was that every comment that came seems to be colored with less of humanity and more of political colors; or so some people thought.

The first to comment were those who thought that murdering police officers was not a good thing and we need to tone down and cut down the violence. It was the logical thing to say and life is sacred, after all. I was absorbed in the same thoughts, wondering what this police officer had done despite wearing his uniform and discharging his official duty, to earn him the gruesome death when I read some comments on comments. For some reason, others thought condemning the violence amounted to being a blue-eyed cadet. You did not condemn violence when it happened Blantyre, they said with little to no evidence of the same. You beat us when we were demonstrating and we are revenging, they added. This was said as if the commentators were the police who had beaten them (not sure under which banner they were speaking).

The people who were speaking against the condemnation of violence started arguments of their own. The backed themselves saying that they had been provoked in their backyard and they had the right to retaliate. From the comments, the people seemed to be pro-opposition and HRDC.
Over the past few days, we have seen different political leaders from the civil society and political parties condemns the violence that was orchestrated by what has been dubbed as the Msundwe brigade. The president spoke against it and his sentiments were echoed by the two major opposition parties, the MCP and the UTM. The organization that has been leading the anti-Jane Ansah demonstrations, the HRDC also came out to condemn the violence and rightly so.

Naturally, some might think that the president condemned the violence because it was his children, ana adadi that were attacked (might be true considering the silence that was from the ruling party when a reverse feat happened) but the fact that opposition and civil society added their voice to this should speak a lot to anyone who has a few ounces of brain left in them; or so I think. The issue that violence is no way of sorting differences is not one we should be debating on. What I am wondering is why we have sunk so low to let tribal and party lines divide us to an extent that we cannot think about the sanctity of human life. Perhaps one thing we might have forgotten is that the police officer who was injured was a father, brother, husband and son to someone. He had a life and dependents whose lives will never be the same, thanks to the loss of his.

I understand that I might have had an extreme opinion on the passing of the budget in the same way that people have theirs on the violence that is in the country. In some of the articles I wrote, I tried as much as I could to remain neutral over certain issues like the fees hike in public universities. In those times, people used to come to me after reading, just to ask me to pick a side. I would always chicken out and tell them that I was neutral. Lately, I have learnt that being neutral is an abstract and almost non-existent concept. Most times when I said I was neutral I was just trying to keep my views to myself for different reasons. On the other hand, opinions need to be guided by reason and a bit of facts to avoid extremism that condones things like violence.

In as far as we live in this country and on this rock, we will always have differing opinions. We should, however keep our thoughts in check and respect the affiliations and opinions of others. What we have seen over the past few months is political and tribal intolerance of the highest order and if this is left unchecked we might be in for worse.

There have been questions on who the root cause of whatever is happening is. Some would point to the opposition for not accepting the results. Others would point to Jane Ansah for mishandling the elections and refusing to resign following the post-election fracas. And then there are those who would point to the president for not providing the much needed leadership out of this mess and not extending an olive branch. Perhaps that was why one Major Prophet Shepherd Bushiri called for calm and acceptance of the outcome of the court case. Akukudziwani kuti mulibe khalidwe anthu ake inu and you will let your opinion of what should have happened in court come at the expense of national peace.

All in all, we are entitled to opinions but we should try to keep them in check.
Been a rough week and I am glad we are going into the weekend. I am told there is something happening at Jacaranda Cultural Centre and that that the Black Missionaries are performing at Namacha Village. Perhaps those will be good places to empty the negative energy after work and church.

Have a lovely weekend. And if you have time do visit the author over the weekend. Nane ndimafuna kuyenderedwa. Zikomo.


Friday, 4 October 2019

The Journey Thus Far


Milestone Friday! Well. We can call it that because when I pasted the link wherever you got it from, I was, for the 200th time sharing a link to the content of this blog. I obviously did not author with some crazy humans like the Venomous Hope coming onto my podium and accusing me of being a weed smoker. And then there was that time I punched the blog open and allowed an influx of opinions on the termination of pregnancy bill. All in all, the blog has seen a lot of articles from different writers who have flowed with and propelled the vision.

I, last week mentioned that the blog started out as a pulpit but due to metamorphosis of sorts it ended up as a bleeding towel for wiping different sorts of opinions oozing from my punctured brain. What developed from that swollen brain was a blog with different articles on health, sports, music, life, rumors, politics and my favorite topic of romance and relationships which people have dubbed “the Richie Online Love Curriculum”.

I have on a couple of times attempted to make a vote on what people’s favorite article was on Richie Online. Those attempts have been met with a rather rude voter apathy but from the few who managed to voice out, people fell in love with the Chronicles of a Traveler. That came in as a surprise as this was just a tired man’s reflection of the poverty he had seen travelling across the southern and central Malawi in the name of helping World Vision International in their monitoring and evaluation efforts. This would later come to prove one Nkhwachi Mhango’s point. In his opinion (and I might have mentioned this before), my articles come out interesting when I am writing more of what is on my mind than commenting on the topical issues around. Fair point, I think.

I have had varied audiences on Richie Online depending on the way of advertising. You have to understand that this blog started out in 2012, three years before WhatsApp became a thing (or before I joined WhatsApp). By then, the best way of throwing the wisdom to the masses was through Facebook. Tagging was a thing then, but before the confidence kicked in, I could not just tag forty plus people in a post with the Richie Online link on it. Perhaps the other thought was just that others couldn’t understand the content. Then there came WhatsApp and it came with the feature of a broadcast list. I got trigger happy and immediately added 200 of the 1000 plus contacts on the Richie Online broadcast; shortly before being told off by a few. Somehow, others managed to ask me on how they could get on the list and the readership stabilized at around two hundred. A few lost phones and contacts later, I found myself committed to only half that number, but here we are.

On the dashboard or admin panel of the blogger website where I post the articles, I am privileged to see data on when I had the most views and which article had the most views or comments. From a quick peep, Richie Online enjoyed the most readership in 2017 with articles getting an average of 250 views compared to the later day 60 to 70. The interesting thing I noted is that the least viewed article is one titled the Intolerability of Intolerance with only 12 views! What a waste of good wisdom by the readership. The most viewed article, however, with a whooping 1400+ views is none other than the 21st Century Paradox of Sex. Now that says about you readers and who you have in your circles. I might get back to that later.

Through the years of writing on this blog, I have tried to be neutral about pretty much everything. What I have learnt while at it is that neutrality and impartiality are somehow abstract concepts and it is very hard to be neutral. This has been demonstrated by the “attacks” I have made on the ruling elite which led to warning from well-wishers within the readership and the backing of the same which led to heavily critical responses from the likes of Joram Nyirongo (one unreasonable guy who writes a column called Mufupika’s Calabash in the Sunday Times). His point? I was being too soft on el presidente, hence I am blue blooded.

If you were to ask me as to what I have been doing with this blog, what I would tell you is that I have been blowing off steam. On the other hand, when I was not venting out anger and stepping on people’s toes what I was doing was to share some opinions on what I thought life ought to be lived like. Now this was not me prescribing a certain set of rules for everyone to go by like I was doing with hydrochlorothiazide pills in my doctor days. It was me dishing out facts and throwing out my opinions from the facts hence the motto of this blog, fact-based opinions. Ndi inayake basi.

The fact that this blog has been a therapeutic tool cannot be overemphasized. Following the loss of one person I was very close to, I dropped an article and the few people who had been following what had been going on quickly picked up the grief in the article and told me they hoped writing about the ordeal helped with my healing. It did. Perhaps, however, what these people did not recognize is how much of my troubled life was reflected in all the articles that came in the Richie Online Love Curriculum and Valentine’s Day Supplements. One human somehow caught me after his perusal of what is one of my personal favorites on the blog; relationship politics. While others came to me to ask if I was writing with reference to the events happening in their lives, this guy messaged me wondering why I had put my whole life story into such an article. Such is the beauty of having this blog; it just has this ability to have a unique sort of bidirectional conversation.

Away from all those things I have been doing, the blog has been a good awareness and advocacy platform. Guest writers like Counsel Alex Kamangila, activist and “loud mouth” Pemphero Mphande, Gray Stuff, the Venomous Hope, Tadala Rambiki, Harry Chikasamba, Edward “TNO” Chikhwenda and many others tackled and shed light on issues in a way never done before; a way I couldn’t have done better. A big thank you everyone who put a pen to paper and gave something to the Richie Online community. It feels good to sit back on some Frida

I would like to finish by expressing gratitude to all of the faithful readers. Every time I write, I know that there is a whole host of people who will go through the article without fail. Further to that, I know that every time I do not write there would be a gang of people asking me as to why there is no food on the Richie Online Friday table. Once the article has been shared, there are those fault finders who always come out pointing the grammatical errors in the article and there are those who share an article of their own relating to a similar subject. Your input has been instrumental in keeping the blog alive. And then there are some of you who share my articles on your statuses with the burning fire emoji. There wouldn’t have been a better way of expressing your support and appreciation for the effort that goes into this. Musainire alawansi tikamaliza apa.

We have reached a 200 and I do not think I will stop this thing anytime soon. I will continue spitting whatever gets to wander in this troubled brain, stepping on toes whenever necessary. Unsolicited life tips will continue coming and I will continue to target people whose traits I do not like... in a diplomatic way hopefully. I will have more crazy guest writers coming in and the controversial topics will keep coming. Know why? I feel like I owe it to you, the people who made me push to a 200.

And… can we do a Richie Online chat tonight? Kukhala makombola.

If you are interested, mail me. I will send you the coordinates.

Thanks for being part of Richie Online.

And the other thing.... Can you stop calling me Richie Online when we meet in the streets? Zikomo

Friday, 27 September 2019

One for the Process


It feels good to be back on this keypad typing the 199th article on Richie Online. We have come far indeed and when I look back at how the blog has evolved, I am pretty sure I never saw it coming this far.

For those of you that may not know, this started out as an "evangelization platform" – an actual pulpit, if you may. Then, thanks to some metamorphosis (positive or negative, depending on how religious you are), Richie Online turned into some sort of megaphone for communicating different important issues and a bin for emptying madando when they were at the verge of making my head burst. The thing is that creating and sustaining this platform has been a joy ride and I have enjoyed every step of the way.

As we approach 200 articles on this blog, I am left with a question on how I want this platform to be over the coming years. There have been several suggestions along the way with others suggesting a divorce with Google for a better platform at RicheOnline.com. Others have gone on to suggest that I need to commercialize the talent by finding some space in one of the weekly papers. From the financial perspective, finding a space in the papers sounds more plausible but that may mean an end to these free pieces that we get to enjoy weekly (well, not weekly). Perhaps I should get a Richie Online reader-sponsored trip to Cape Maclear so that I can sit down on the sands overlooking the clear waters of Cape Maclear. Perhaps a stint on Nthumbi Island may help with the clarity.

Talking about visions for the future, we have at one point dropped the “when I grow up I would like to be a policeman” line to the teacher when we were in junior primary school. I remember blindly saying that I wanted to be a doctor but that was before the exposure. In the midst of confusions on ambitions and being bombarded with different career exposures and opportunities, I ended up being a doctor. That was probably one of the toughest six years of my life but it was through that process that I ended up being a doctor. As junior doctors, we tend to have this feeling of being inadequate and the hunger for more so you tend to hear people saying they would like to become surgeons, opthalmologists, health economists, physicians, paediatricians, proctologists and many other weird things that are hard to pronounce. I am in the pool and I happen to have my own dreams. Looking back at the six years of medical school, I know that if I am to get to where I want to be, I will have to go through an equally gruesome process for me to be really good at what I will be. That brings us to the topic of the day.

As young people (even old ones) we get to have our own dreams and aspirations. We always have a trajectory which we want our lives to take in the lines of career, family, finances and whatever else. No one would like to live a life of a low standard and we all dream in color. I mean, going back home to a mansion overlooking Chirimba down in Chapima Heights along with a wife and two beautiful kids wouldn’t be bad. Asa young person, I have always fallen into conversation with peers on hos we would like to have the best of cars and houses just like other people have uniquely done in town. The thing that has been lacking, however is the question of how the others have done it.

I was, last week privileged to attend a celebratory lecture by Prof Henry Mwandumba, the Deputy Director of the Malawi-Liverpool Wellcome Trust, the organization I am currently working with. He took us through his story coming from early primary school through high school to tertiary education and one thing that came out clear is how he went through a lot of steps and processes, harnessing the opportunities as they came along. That, is what I like to call the process of becoming and it is one thing that we need to learn to accept and embrace if we are to become something.

I have highlighted the issue of career. Most times, we tend to fantasize different career trajectories, admiring the people who are making money from consultations in projects, law firms, managing grants, private practice medics, chartered accountants, ana a Adadi and whoever else people consider successful nowadays. That is not wrong but to complete the picture, we need to pause and think about what those people may possibly have gone through to achieve the current status. That always gives a good picture of the feasibility of adapting oneself and creating similar paths to success.

It wouldn’t be me if I don’t drag the Richie Online Love Curriculum into this. You may have seen some memes of beautiful couple with the opening caption “this could have been us, but….” Around in the social media. What those try to show are a sense of inadequacy in other relationships (and perhaps the fact that some are just walking alone without partners/spouses). I will not talk about picture perfect relationships as that has been discussed in earlier articles so I will stick to the subject of the day. What we need to realize is that the relationships you admire take a bit of effort to build. All night texting until the phone heats up. The endless, hour-long phone calls. Lots of gifts and spending a lot time together. There will be people who will discouraging you from the start, telling you that what you are doing us a bit of an overkill, but the one thing you have to remember is that things don’t just come to perfection overnight. They need time and effort. Perhaps one thing that is leading to a lot of breakups, divorces and failed relationships is the lack of effort.

Another important aspect to include in this discussion is leadership. As people, we belong to different institutions which require teams of people to spearhead different operations for their day to day functions. Getting to be in a leadership position may come as a matter of a simple appointment or a vote but that is not without problems. Usually, people have their own biases which affect their choice of leaders. That, then brings us to the issue I earlier discussed in my article on leadership (well, probably) regarding the process of becoming a leader. Cutting a long story short, involves studying the goals of the organization or body you are heading and having a vision of developing the organization and future leaders for the same. All that cannot happen overnight and when we are vying for leadership positions or choosing leaders, this is one quality we should be looking for; we need someone who has gone through the process of being a leader.

We could apply the same reasoning of going through the process to the fields of parenting, ministry (I have a couple of men of the collar who read this), development and many other fields of life. Finances? Perhaps I should add a bit more on this one. You may know the popular actor and martial artist, Jackie Chan. According to reports I read (not sure how true, but let us assume it is), Jackie Chan is not leaving any inheritance for his child. Asked as to why, he was quoted saying that if his son is an able man, he will make his own money – adding that if he is not able then there is no reason as to why he should waste the money Jackie worked hard for. There is a phenomenon we observe more often than not when rich people die leaving worth for their children. Sometimes all the money and assets get blown away faster than they were built and the children end up being broke. That, in my view happens when the people end up with huge amounts of money without going through the process of making money. No more explanations.

I could continue writing, but I guess I have communicated and you have gotten the point having endured the article to this end. If you have gone through the right ones of the past 198 articles, you might have noticed that I am more of an outcome oriented than a process-oriented person. I like to focus on the end as opposed to the means. That being said, the process of becoming is also important ad that is why students need to study for the knowledge and not for exams. Cheating? Non-starter.
One might wonder as to how different this article is from the call to action I wrote earlier. While acting is the bridge between a dream and actualization, there is a need for the understanding of the processes involved. That guides the action and keeps it focused. Eeetu.

I am taking suggestions on what we can do for the Richie Online 200th article celebration next week. Lakeside party? Barbecue in Naperi? T-shirts? A fun truck around the major cities, maybe?  

Friday, 13 September 2019

Of Priorities, Means and Ends


It feels good to be back to my writing ways. The one Friday on which I missed the opportunity to write feels like years. Perhaps some of you would not understand as you think that writing these Friday pieces comes as a burden. I would refer you to the first paragraph of the Venomous Hope’s article in which he was trying to remind us how morally bankrupt we are as a nation. In that paragraph, he quoted some human who once stated that what we do in writing is to bleed our ideas on a piece of paper. I could not agree more because for me, this sort of bleeding relieves me of some toxic thoughts. One main purpose of this blog is to, therefore let out the bad energy. Before you stop reading, however, I would like to point out that I am not writing to blow off steam. Well. I might be, but it is not something that you should worry about.

Earlier today, I found myself talking to a guy who refers himself to as the man without a face. That is pretty odd considering that he has a proper face and he has not been known to hide it. The conversation? I was trying to convince him to sign an online petition that is poised to stop the Malawi Government from constructing two stadia for the country’s tow big teams. Perhaps I should go on to state the obvious for those who do not follow current affairs.

During the campaign period, el presidente surprised me when in his whistle stop at Chirimba, he pointed out that he like Nyasa Big Bullets and Mighty BeForward Wanderers. I found that a bit odd because one of the reasons I am still not married is that I like one team and the ladies that always catch my interest are fans of the other. Anyway, that might be an exaggeration but we all know how much of a rivalry there is between the two teams. In other words, it is technically impossible to love both teams; unless of course, if you are a politician looking for votes in the presidential election (I might come back to this). To demonstrated his true affection for the two teams he loves the most, H.E. pledged to build a stadium for each team. Those of us who hardly every take anything seriously dismissed it as political talk but months down the line we are seeing the move gain the ground.

In the 2019/20 budget statement (which I have not yet read), there is an allocation for the start of the construction of the said stadia. When we talk about the budget, I hardly look at what is happening to taxes where. The first thing I look at is how much has gone to the health budget and once I see that it is south of 15 percent as prescribed by the Abuja Declaration, that is bad budget. This is what I did to the current budget statement but the issue of the building of sports arenas also caught my attention as it got me wondering as to how we prioritize things in the Warm Heart of Africa.

As you would imagine, the idea of constructing sports arenas for privately owned sports teams did not go well with some of us and a social media backlash followed. Fans of the very teams that have received the unmerited favor from the country’s leadership stood shaking their heads, wondering why the government is building a stadium and not expanding maternity services at Chavala Health Center or ensuring an uninterrupted supply of aspirin at Ndunde Health Center. To them (or us), that was a minor issue being prioritized and that is wrong.

While people were arguing in WhatsApp groups and discussing in their offices, one human thought of a brilliant idea. He started an online petition against the move to construct the stadia. The goal, as written on the website is to collect 1000 signatures. For those of you who are not savvy with how the collection of signatures works, you go on the website where the petition is being hosted, sign up using your e mail and then click on the “sign petition” button. I am not sure as to what happens with the signatures in such cases here. What I saw early in my life was that when one Jeremy Clarkson was fired by the BBC, one fan started an online petition which collected over a million signatures. What they did, then was that they printed the petition and the names of all signatories and marched to deliver the petition to BBC offices, taking a tank to lead the way in the streets of London HRDC style. Despite the million signatures, Mr Clarkson was never reinstated and he later joined Amazon.

One popular human in Malawian circles today happens to be one Timothy Mtambo. He has been in the spotlight for leading demonstrations that are calling for the resignation (or firing?) of the chair of the country’s electoral body through the Human Rights Defenders Coalition (this word reminds me of the Mgwirizano Coalition). Reason? The elections were not free and fair. A bunch of demonstrations and millions of kwacha in damaged property later, a letter of resignation from the Senior Counsel, Justice of Appeal is yet to be seen. The President clearly stated that he was not going to fire her either. I am told there are more demonstrations coming up but if I am to be honest, I am not too optimistic that the demonstrations will breed the desired outcome.

You have spent some time reading this, but what am I trying to communicate here? Sometimes it is good to discern between things that can be changed using certain means and those that cannot. Someone posted a picture of a sign on her WhatsApp earlier this week. The sign read “Give me Coffee to change things that I cannot…. And wine to accept things I cannot”. In other words, if you take the wine, changing things wouldn’t necessarily work. That is the case with the so-called peaceful demonstrations and online petitions. A case of bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Perhaps we should conclude. The first thing is that we should not major minors and before we pay for DSTV we need to make sure that we have food for the month. Izi zomanga ma stadium m’dziko mukusowa zinthu zofunikirazi, musamazipange pakhomo panu. Further to that, you should learn to discern. Pause and think about whether something can be changed or not. If you think something can be changed, you need to think about how best it can be changed before focusing your efforts on things that hardly have an effect. And oh…. Money and sex may not be the best ways of winning someone’s heart over. Just had to run it for you.

Weekend yamaluzi iyi. Koma muona kuti mupanga bwanji.

Friday, 30 August 2019

A Morally Bankrupt Nation


by the Venomous Hope

A renowned journalist and Nobel Prize winner, Ernest Hemingway, once said "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."  And when you're an avid reader of Richie Online you would agree that the proprietor bleeds articles that should be considered in UNESCO's heritage archive. I cannot speculate how he juggles between his regular job and being a scribe, perhaps some first grade muti is involved. Therefore, returning as a guest this week is both a privilege and a challenge as I have to at least get close to his unusually very high standards. It's the reason I am still bleeding beyond the stipulated deadline despite knowing all week that I will have to chip in on this pulpit.

The challenge, herein, is that a lot has already been said especially on the post-20 May Election hullabaloo, if you sway an argument to the one side of the coin you risk the wrath of zealots who subscribe to the other side. There's is no neutrality when talking about politics. You only have to write and let the people decide your fate. In the words of Hemingway, ‘always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.' No wonder Hemingway ended up committing suicide.

Well, suicide is not a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I would hope that those whose eyes are fixed on the Constitution Court will accept their fate, whatever it may be, without fast-tracking their days of going to hell. Remember one former cabinet minister (MHSRIP) during that cash bleeding and very short regime of Amayi? He had written in his suicide note that he was facing political threats and was living in fear, and he thought of just finishing the job himself. By the way why didn't anyone make some forensic inquiry to find out about the nature of the threats? We are very good as a country in instituting commissions of inquiry on every trivial problem that we can't make sense of, as long as its results will be in will satisfy the political establishment of that time. Godfrey Kamanya's fate needed similar soul searching. Of course, he had just realized he had lost his parliamentary seat, but like every prominent investigation in Malawi, the files were left on some police shelf to rot, well, that is if they are still there with the spate of fires across the country. My point is that we have a very serious problem that has paralyzed every sector.

It is going to take a lot of political will, and of course a carton of paracetamol, to accept the inevitable court decision. MCP and UTM are challenging the results of Presidential Elections, and want the court to nullify and call for fresh ones. We can't just think people will accept the court's decision and go back to their everyday doings. If at all what we have seen with the Anti-Jane Ansah demonstrations, the volume will be more blasting once the verdict is delivered. People should be prepared that the verdict might be ugly for the side they support and if that is the case they will have to accept. It will be political suicide if both sides think they'll have it their way, knowing them too well they probably all have prophets under their employ who have assured them that gods will smiling for them.

It is always important to seek God's help when disagreements are order of the day. We have always seen religious leaders taking lead in the liberation struggle. After all, we tend to mention it to anyone who cares that we belong to a God-fearing nation. It stems from the fact that we have too many churches than are needed, and countless prophets, muftis, apostles, and I can bet my mose, even successors to Jesus Matiki. Our political history has quite a number of paragraphs that these prominent men and women of God laid their hands on. The famous 1992 Pastoral Letter that intensified the ouster of the real Ngwazi, Public Affairs Committee’s deeds over years, the Gule Wamkulu leading the demos in some parts of central region, and not forgetting one Levi Nyondo, whose prayer was answered right away by Bingu at some point, are just a few of examples of how we cannot completely sieve out religious traditions with politicking. We needed more from religious leaders in this time than any other time since in our history since independence. But when you go through a political discourse over the last two months with regard to the role men God have played you begin to question what’s in it for them. The stakes are high and some have seen it as an opportunity to harvest for themselves.

Pastor Dr Jane Ansah is not wanted anywhere near MEC’s offices, and probably some Pharisees want her out of this Judea altogether. This bone of contention has led to some sponsored mediation between those that want her head on the spike and those that splattered selfies with her on social media platforms during victory banquets of DPP. Asofa from BCA Hill met HRDC leaders, Chilima, Chakwera and also Mutharika (you need to be a very deep cover agent to know his schedule these days). Clearly, he has failed to bring them all on one table because just like the contesting opponents, Atcheya is also an interested party. He has a lot to lose or gain albeit depending on whatever version the court verdict will be. Then PAC entered the fray but the egos are just too big to tune down, or more realistically, PAC is seen by most cadets and sympathizers to be pro-opposition and hence not neutral.
Then we saw another alternative PAC going under the eating name of Interfaith Forum for Peace, Justice and Dialogue. The grouping consist of Bishop Joseph Bvumbwe (recently Board chair for MERA), as its interim chair, CCAP’s Timothy Nyasulu, Bishop Brighton Malasa who is barred by some of his Anglican parishes, and Sheikh Dinala Chabulika, a prominent MBC analyst, just to mention a few (Google can give the list in a blink). They said they strive to be exemplary in character, word and deed in order to protect our nation. They will be ‘patriotic, peaceful, and prayerful,’ as part or the statement reads, ‘in order to achieve their objectives of bringing peace in the country.’ There is also a line that they are “leaders of integrity, impeccable standing and peace lovers in society...” Fumbi ndiwe mwini.

Most critics think the grouping has been stamped in to undermine the influence of PAC which arguably is in sympathy with the activities of HRDC especially on the demos, to what end we will never know. The fact, however, is that all these religious leaders have made a wrong approach. The real issue is not about Jane Ansah, the demos have become more of a struggle about life. I have seen people who have never even protested under their roof come out to vent their anger in solidarity with HRDC. When you compare the standard of life now than during 2014 we are worse off this time. This kind of anger has been brewing over the years now because when you elect people you expect some notable changes. The way they patronized campaign rallies was clear indication that they will not accept anything that did not reflect their votes.

The crust, herein is that we need to dissect the needs of Malawians and focus more on what can unite everyone. Right now, everyone’s focus is on the ConCourt and you cannot invite people to come to the table to discuss the same. The fact that the demos are riddled by violence is an indication of frustration against those in leadership position for not doing more. Very few pious religious leaders are taking part in these negotiations and, maybe most are saving their necks. A lot of negativity has engulfed the religious stream to the extent that we cannot rely them to provide a moral campus for this trying time. Just recently, one priest was chased in Karonga by own parishioners for mismanaging funds. Of course, we cannot generalize, but there is some kind of moral decay for all to see. The loss of trust coupled with various social ills like lack of job opportunities especially among the youth, high crime rate, Jane Ansah, high costs of food, corruption and the first filling station in Neno since civilization. Those that won the elections haven’t done anything apart from err commissioning warships (I know what you’re thinking…). Perhaps if DPP had started working on some of these issues maybe Malawians would have been a bit patient with the court case and not throng to the streets.

As more reverends like outspoken Viphya’s own Mzomera Ngwira are being declared bankrupt by the courts, the nation is gaining ground in creating immoral citizens. In no time very soon, we will see some men taking to the streets if their wives have unusually reduced the amount of mitanda yansima on their plate. The precedence being allowed to take root of burning people’s properties, undressing women and other evils is just a sign that the preaching is falling on deaf ears. People no longer trust their religious leaders, they just respect them so that one day they will not forget to preach on their funerals. In the words of Ernest Hemingway, the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. Let the men of collar cast the first stone.

Enjoy your Friday folks.

Friday, 23 August 2019

From the Memes; the Science of Heart Breaks


Yeah. Another Friday.

It is very hard to come up with another article especially when you are coming from the weekend when one of your most fierce critics said you had written something wise. On the other hand, it is pretty easy to come back from heavy criticism. If you are at the bottom, you can not go any lower so I know I am pretty okay now.

As you have noticed, I have started off from last week’s article. While some of you kept the negative responses to yourselves, some people were free enough to spit it in my face. Others started giving me a list of names of people who they thought the article was targeting. While I realized that those were perfect fits, I hadn’t really thought about them when I was writing. That showed me something; my article was relevant and relatable and that is what Richie Online is for. While on the same, others thought I was so full of negative energy and I was unnecessarily reacting to things a person of my nature shouldn’t be reacting to. Well. First of all, you hardly my nature so… Lets leave it there, anyway. Two good people I will not mention said “ndinatokota”. Well. I do not think my language was that harsh, either. You should have seen another version of the same message that one friend of mine sent me immediately after he had read mine. Plus, someone had to say what I said, especially in this world where people cannot eat a meal or wear shoes without first uploading on Instagram. If the article hit you, just disregard it because it hit me too when I read it the next day. Steam blown.

To the business of the day…

I should mention right at the start that this article has been fueled by memes. For some reason, people have been posting a lot about heart breaks this week. One human posted about how heart breaks are good for one’s career. Another one posted about how people need to realize that if they are not dating for marriage then they are dating for a heart break and another went on to post about pieces of a broken heart. I got fascinated by another who posted about how a heart break sensitizes and prepares one for the next of its kind. All of these but one was posted in the form of memes on a WhatsApp status. You probably have seen that and you probably know where I am going with this.

Pieces of a broken heart. One meme that I saw was a quote from a player who was wondering whether is was just that his heart got broken into so many pieces and each piece started loving a different person, earning him the player name. Now I know that some of you may take this as something funny as I did, but I am sure that there is a whole fraction of humanity that would say that with seriousness. Two reasons. For some, it may just be an excuse for promiscuity. For others, however, it might just be an issue of insecurity and paranoia in which case people jump into a relationship with one foot while staying on the outside with the other so that they can pull out easily. You already know what happens in that case. The slightest mistake one or their partner leads to a feeling that things may not work out and so such people end up jumping from one relationship to another, switching at the smallest of threats. The funny thing is that these guys don’t really count these unions as proper relationships in this transient phase to full recovery.

Heart breaks being good for one’s career? Now that is very debatable. I am not too sure as to what the person who authored that might have been driving at but I ca n speculate. You get heart broken, forget everything else and focus on school and career. This might work or might not because there are some people who simply cannot function without a support system in the form of a spouse. Such people would always try to find someone with whom to share their lives with at the closest convenience and should they be the kind that are too careful, the heart break leads to a downward spiral with numerous stops in relationships with different people.

And then to another big one. A heart break prepares you for the next one. Now this was a pure meme which had a funny picture and the words, “Remember how you thought you would die after your first boyfriend left you? Look at how you are all cool now, ready for the next breakup”. Whether this is good or not is subject to debate but this is a reality in the later day. Once someone succumbs to the first breakup, the subsequent ones become very tolerable and almost desirable. Someone gets dumped today and they continue to live their life their own way. The explanation? “Amafuna ndidzilira?” 

That is how we have ended up with a broken generation with people who can’t love fully. On the other hand, it might be good because we need people who can move on, so this goes both ways.
Those were the memes and the possible explanations and implications but there is something about heart breaks that made me dedicate a couple of days to the study of the same. Firstly, we have to understand that not all breakups result into heart breaks and that in this modern-day world (in which people have shifted from sex before marriage to sex before a relationship), heart breaks may come from without a relationship. You can smell the complexity of that.

Some have defined a heart break as a state of intense emotions with a big sense of longing especially in the case of a lost lover. That definition is accurate and in a way it sheds light on what is wrong with this world of dating. In the first place, the idea of having a sense of longing following losing a lover means that we are more prone to accepting them back, thus giving them a chance to hurt us again. On the other hand, we need to move on and that gives a chance for someone to either rebuild us or to break us further. This is why the reminder I posted earlier might just be the wisest thing I have seen this week; if you are not dating for marriage, then you are dating for a heart break. Let me get to that.

The normal demands that our dating ventures end up in marriage of sorts, or so we used to think before things got to their current state. In that case, people need to focus their efforts on getting to know and build each other on the way to marriage. That is something that has to be mutual but the problem is that it is hard to sense whether someone is for real with their intentions and whether they will not flip along the way. What we can do, however, is be sincere and give it our best, ensuring that we have those intentions of dating for marriage (or are otherwise making it clear; things I do not encourage on a normal day). The tricky thing is that once people jump into the dating ship, people tend to enjoy each other’s company and that in turn makes them lose themselves whenever they lose their partner. That is why people who are dating need to end up being a thing after this whole dating business because once they get married chances are that they will stay together.

There we are then. There are so many things we could say about heart breaks and we could write a whole book. As I write, I am looking at a bunch of YouTube videos about how to cope with heart breaks and how to fix broken hearts. Whether those are something to go by is a story for another day, but we know that we have people who are waging wars against heart breaks. Perhaps I should also point out that not all people who claim to be heart broken are in that state. Some of us are just out here abusing other people in the name of having broken hearts and that is not something we should deem normal.  Perhaps there is some sort of universal way of ensuring full recovery from a heart break and we should research it and put it right here on Richie Online. Until then, we will stick with time as a healer and YouTube videos for resolution.

Have a wonderful weekend.


And the other thing... If you want to follow this up with a discussion, call me at 1900 hours CAT.

Friday, 16 August 2019

Of Appearing and Being

It is a wonderful Friday and after a week-long leave of absence I am back with something of the article’s sort. Last week I was busy meditating on the court proceedings and watching Liverpool FC thump Norwich city in the opener of the English Premier League and that was enough to distract me from writing the much needed article. How sad. This time, I have taken time away from the work of the day to complete this before it is too late.
Talking of Liverpool FC, this is the team that beat my Chelsea who three days after they were mortally wounded by Manchester United. The beginnings of the football season haven’t been good for those of use who support the blue boys from west London but that is okay. It is only football after all. 
What fascinates me in the football season is the growing fanaticism that I am beginning to see over the years. Every other football fan that I know always has at least the home kit of their favorite European club. I joined the frenzy this season by buying my own Valencia home kit but I doubt that it was because of my love for the team. It was rather the love for the nicely designed Puma shirt. And then there is this thing of couples buying new season jerseys and going for photo shoots… Ndimafuna ndikambe zampira but I think we should divert to this. 
Back in the day, our relationships used to be way stealthy. When you were dating, you always made sure that you met in the most secret of places and you avoided public appearances. Knowing in-laws was something that was reserved for the advanced stages of the relationship and the picture of relationships was a perfect opposite of what is happening in the later day where we search our in-laws on social media and offer them a bottle of something. Then there were the photos. In those days, there used to be a photographer moving around with his bike, taking and distributing pictures. When dishing out, he would hide those pictures of couples he had taken in some bushes and even when dispatched to the owners, those were puctures that used to be hidden behind others in our photo albums. Fast forward to 2019, we have couples movine around with custom t shirts to a photo studio where they have their pictures taken. And on most occasions, the pictures are delivered into a phone or memory card for posting on Instagram or WhatsApp (I am told Facebook is not much of a thing nowadays). 
This whole thing of pictures and all gives me the impression that sometimes all people want is to give out the impression that they are in love and all is well. That is not wrong and perhaps most of these people are truly in love and enjoying it. What it has done, however is to give other the urge to go for such things as photo shoots just to create that flashy image before they actually earn the grounds for doing so through building a strong bond between them. Some of us started going for photo shoots before it was cool but chances are that the people we went with are married with 7 kids. At the moment, we are desperately searching for the contacts of the ladies with whom we took pictures in the bush beyond Chingalangande hill as those were the ones with whom we had real love.
I am not just saying this because I am a swazi (as my friend Tuntufye calls me) but the whole point is that we have more people striving to make an impression that things are well; more that we have striving to actually make things well. Think of the church. Nowadays we have our religious leaders who are teaching us lots of exciting things about God and how we ought to operate in this world as his children. On the other hand, the very same people that preachings are being wasted on walk out of church to resort to the very things their pastor was teaching them minutes ago. Or worse still, it is the pastors who spearhead vice. Not too good. 
Perhaps we should talk about something called success. Now this is something that is getting complicated by the day because people are redefining success and teaching others how to succeed. Teaching someone how to succeed, if you think about it, is not something you would call a bad thing. Rather, it is something I would call noble. One of the problems that comes with it, however is that the definition of success tends to be more subjective than it is universal. For others, success would be defined by the kind of car they are pushing in town while for some it is about how much they have in either their accounts or investments. Then we should consider those who measure their success by the number of spouses.
In the modern day, most young people enter the job market or into business fresh from tertiary education with a mission of proving a point that they are doing well. And then there are those that leave college for various reasons, trying to prove to everyone that they can walk down the same lane as Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg. That becomes a problem because in the midst of trying to prove a point people tend to make costly mistakes that ensure that they never get to achieve the financial success they portray to the outside world. 
There is another issue of charity and making impact in this world. I appreciate the efforts that some people I know are putting in towards the betterment of the lives of others and the good of the environment but the rate at which organizations are proliferating in this country makes me wonder if they are up for anything beyond taking high definition photos for some websites while building a profile. Do not get me wrong. It is good to help, but the motive matters. If we only do things to show off as opposed to doing something for the impact it has on the nation or someone’s life, then we have a big problem. I should say no more for the fear of being stoned by the huge number of CEOs that patronize Richie Online. 
So… There you go. There is a lot of pretending happening out there. There is too much focus on appearing to be something good with little if any focus on the attempts at attaining the actual status we like to portray. The question we should be asking ourselves is that of how much the picture we paint to others will cost us. On another note, I am not saying that we should not dress well, drive nice cars or live in nice houses. Neither did I declare going for a photo shoot with your spouse at Bensam Studios a taboo. All I am saying is that there has to be a balance between the impression you give and what you really are. On the other side, we need to be able to take a shower and wear some deodorant to ensure that people manage to see the positive side of us. 
Signing out…. There is no second chance at making a first impression. Mind the picture you paint and balance it with what you are. 

Friday, 2 August 2019

Standards: a Comment on Comments

It is one wonderful Friday and after some time we are back to putting pen to paper. You might be wondering as to why I went AWOL (Google that if you do not get it). Well. I had a tummy ache and I was just tired. I am afraid I have run out of better excuses, but all in all, we are back. Sometimes people just get too busy for things that matter and that is what has been happening to me in the past two weeks. 
So much happened in the time I took my forced leave from writing. There was a heavy debate on language proficiency and intelligence after some lawmakers were caught grossly assassinating the Queen’s language in broad daylight. There have been demonstrations and negotiations with people throwing in a lot of propaganda and useful and useless comments alike. I have been away from it all and I was focusing on doing my work and educating the masses about science and research through any platform I was offered. It is now time for me to comment because as per the regulations, no issue can be declared over before the Richie of Richie Online comments on it. 
Shall we talk about the youngest member of parliament? Of course we should. Perhaps I should start by saying that she impressed me (and still does). I know people who are more educated and who supposedly mounted stronger campaigns but did not manage to win that seat. She is in parliament and that is a no mean achievement. I hope she represents her people well in parliament, if that is a thing. 
Let us take a left turn then. The praise she received as the youngest parliamentarian, however was short lived as she was to later receive a social media roasting of a lifetime for her poor command of spoken English. In a television interview clip that you probably have (or had) in your phone, she was seen expressing her joy over the building of a bridge that had made movement easy in her area. The video was shared with lots of laughing emojis and mean captions which prompted some sects of society to quickly move to her defense. I am that guy who likes to comment on comments, so rather than comment on her interview, I will comment on the comments that people made on the interview.
Others came in and quickly pointed out that the critics who had opened a heavy barrage of fire on the young lady were broke while she was swimming in money. Now that was a lame argument if you are to ask me. Unwarranted as the attacks on her already weak communication skills were, this counter argument was rather misplaced. Another group of humans, however went on to say that even some who were criticizing Fyness were doing it in broken English themselves. Now that wasn’t too bad an argument. It is close to being related to the subject matter, but what I like the most about it is that it is one jab against hypocrisy. 
I was rather amused by two more arguments that sounded a bit deeper. Some people, in their wisdom argued that the interview by the parliamentarian showed the failure of the system to screen for people who are supposed to be in the August House. Now that makes sense. If you are to think about it, parliamentary business is conducted in English and that makes the ability to communicate in English a basic qualification for being a parliamentarian. If you think of the actual job description of a member of parliament (osai zokugulirani mabokosi kapena kumanga ma bridge) which is making the laws that govern the land, you wouldn’t need to be much of a scholar to find the accentuation of the point I just made on English being important. I am not too sure as to how far my fellow young person went with education and how far one has to go with education for them to have masterly over English (considering that after six years of college I still have to ask Harry to draft me an application letter). That led to yet another interesting proposition. 
You probably guessed it because you or someone in your circle proposed the same thing, but people called for the inclusion of Chichewa in government business. I found that interesting because it took me back to the time I used to like reading the Together Magazine. In one of the old editions, there was a dossier on the inclusion of local languages in tertiary education and government business. In my view, that was yet another lame argument because of the motive behind it. I like to think that the call for the inclusion of local languages is meant to accommodate those who cannot speak the exotic language that is English and I have a problem with that. 
I will let those who say that communicating in English is not a measure of intelligence stone me on this but if anything, we are supposed to be raising the standards and ensuring that people who make decisions that affect the country are well conversant with basic national and international affairs. Having some sort of basic education is one of the qualifications that come into play and considering that we are considered anglophone, in which case our education is delivered in English, people who are in decision making positions should be able to communicate in English for an hour or two without getting a headache. The English proficiency in this case is just the basic thing. The more important thing is that people should have an understanding of governance systems and everything else that matters about their roles. Calling for the inclusion of local languages, then, indirectly removes one screening tool that could ensure that people who make decisions for us are savvy about what is best for us. I am not too sure that we can afford to dumb down things to the level where other who do not qualify can now participate. If that was the case, Richie Online articles would have been drafted in Chichewa and posted on electricity poles at Zingwangwa market. 
Before I forget, I should respond to the esteemed ladies and gentlemen that emphasize on the fact that English is not a measure of intelligence. That it very true but intelligence is not all that matters when you get to some posts. I am very intelligent (as some of you may know) but I would perform badly if you were to make me the chief auditor of your company. Point is that knowledge matters and being an MP requires knowledge. Unfortunately, some of you would argue with me because you are okay with your member of parliament rubber stamping a budget document or bill which he has no idea of. English may not be a measure of intelligence, but it highly correlates with knowledge. In the case of a parliamentarian, we need both. 
One guy called the Daydreamer once sent me a letter on this issue of English and if you did not read it, you should check it out. In his view, the standards of learning are dwindling and this has been manifested by the comparatively poorer command of English shown by products of the Malawi school system. I would like to think that this is the real cause of worry over one interview because there are a lot of us whose communication should have been better having gone through the system. 
I have spent a lot of time commenting on the negative comments. There was one positive one too. I saw a couple of bystanders indicating that it was not good to laugh at a young person who was struggling with English but to get them help. Now that might not be for you and me, but I believe the young parliamentarian needs that help. Further to that, she needs the insight, and she should realize that she will need to get better with her communication skills in English; not just for the interviews but also for her growth in various fields. That young lady has potential and she has a whole lot of opportunities ahead of her. I would hate to see her miss out because of a language or lack of knowledge. 
I would leave it right here, for now. One thing we should all learn from this is that there are standards for everything and we need to maintain high standards. Whenever there are people who are not up to our expected standards, trolling may not be the way to go. 
Let me go. Mawa ukwati.