Game of Thrones

It is yet another wonderful Friday and once again we get to be treated with an article. Last week? Well. It turns out that Good Friday is also a holiday at the Richie Online headquarters and for some reason the article about Jesus the leader did not come out. We may have that one soon but for now we have to look at something else.

If you are the kind of person who has people called friends on social media, you might have seen a post about winter being here despite this being spring (or at least not winter). Most of you had it figured out that the statement was making reference to the HBO TV show, Game of Thrones. With the posts about Game of Thrones and winter getting out of hand, people who do not watch the show got on a counter and started sharing screenshots of a tweet by one person who declared that she was in the 1 percent of the people who had never watched a single episode of GOT in their life. This got me wondering as to whether all the noise about anticipating and watching the series or lack of thereof were really worth the internet noise. It was probably unnecessary, but here we are. The series is on and those of us who watch it are enjoying the show.

I recount how I never was a fan of this show until when they were airing the 6^th season. At this time, I found myself in a pub where I was interacting with buddies from across the globe as we prepared for a pub quiz (that’s one activity you should get to do when you get a chance). When we were asked to give a name to our group in the quiz, one of the guys on the table suggested that we be called the Whitewalkers to which everyone agreed without hesitation. Having not watched Game of Thrones then, my face could not hide the fact that I was surprised with the suggestion of the name. I found myself being picked on by the United Nations for being the only person who didn’t watch the HBO hit. After losing the pub quiz that day, I went home and downloaded everything there was to download about GOT and there I was.

I know that there are a lot of people in the readership who belong to the erroneously calculated one percent of people that have not watched the series (achina Louis Chipere) so I will summarize it for you. Firstly, the series has the wrong title because despite being called Game of Thrones, there is only one throne that matters. The plot is actually just about people tussling and fighting for what is called the iron throne, a seat of power of some seven kingdoms in a land called Westeros. The whole thing is just about fighting for power, really. Koma ndiyokoma.

Looking at the power struggle in the plot of the series in the first 6 seasons, I was reminded on what is happening closer to home. The years in the history of the nation have shown us how some have used whatever was at their disposal to beat others to power and this year’s elections are not any different.

It is open season for campaigning and while I haven’t seen much worth calling drama for my expectations, I could easily say that people are willing to go beyond their comfort zones to get the numbers needed to usher them into power. Here are some examples.

When you take a look at the line-up of candidates that are on the ballot, you will find a president, his vice and a minister in his cabinet. That is what we call nkhondo ya pa chiweniweni; a civil war. What we see from there is that there are people who disagree with the way their leader is “serving” the nation and would like to be at the helm to do things differently. What it may also mean is that the same guys are looking for the power their boss has and would like to have the same. It all depends on how you look at it.

The next thing is the issue of alliances. One of the contenders in this watershed election happens to be the man who came second in the previous election earning himself the title of Leader of Opposition. Having realized that he needs all the numbers he can get to win the election, he roped in the former president of the nation, a person to who he was once a fierce critic. Tunes have changed and the two people that called each other names at some point are now trailing together in this campaign. Here we see one man trying to get the numbers while another human is trying to remain relevant in politics. These elections have also made us see how two factions of one party can make electoral pacts with two parties (they may not call it that). All we are seeing are attempts at ensuring closeness to the seat of power come May 21.

In the past few months, the (social) media has been awash with rigging claims. The country’s second in was all over talking of how the ruling party was planning to rig the elections. In a recent rally, the incumbent also talked about how a certain candidate has procured a machine and hired foreign nationals in a bid to tamper with the figures in the coming election.

The fact the country’s number 1 and number 2 who are on opposing sides in this campaign are talking about rigging plots in the coming election has raised eyebrows and lashes. First of all, there are rumors that the number two was roped in to help with rigging in the 2014 election which sometimes makes sense when you consider the way our second in command speaks when this issue is raised. Even if that was nothing more than a rumor, the fact that the two biggest people in the country’s hierarchy are babbling about rigging plot makes this issue very hard to dismiss. What is more interesting is the “we know where it is” and “we know where they are” way in which our president put it. As my favorite analyst, Wanangwa Chafulumira who appears as a guest on the Kwagwanji program on Times TV (my favorite along with Beyond 100 Days on BBC and Quest Means Business on CNN), the president spoke about this on the wrong forum considering that the organizations that are supposed to control the alleged crimes are under his very control. Despite the assurances from the electoral body that the elections will be free and fair, the noise from the big two is a real cause of worry because it seems like they know what the average Richie doesn’t.

We have so far not witnessed much of physical violence and that is a good start. People have pulled down each other’s flags and vandalized billboards and we are hoping that this will come to an end. Others have gone overboard with verbal jabs and we have heard apologies. Hopefully, that is the last we will see in the campaign period as we pave way for issue based politics. We have seen people failing to articulate their own party history and we are hearing about the chaos in our state owned corporations as people are pulling, twisting and turning all they can to make sure that they get into service. Or power. Or on the throne with that lion.

I know these elections need to be taken seriously, but are they not just another game?

Dynamics of Human Interaction

It is a wonderful Friday. Down in the commercial capital, we are having typical April weather with a little June in the mix. All in all, it is a good day and once again we have something to read on for the day.

I was overwhelmed by the positive feedback that came from the last article considering how hastily it was prepared. Even the Venomous Hope whose purpose in life is to spit on my articles was impressed with what I wrote and that is a good sign. In line with the article, I found a Nipsey Hussle quote which was posted by Dr Chiwoza Bandawe. If you look at people within your circle and you do not get inspired, then you do not have a circle; rather, you are in a cage. End of quote. Zambiri tinanena kale sabata latha. I will not comment on this in the same way I will not comment on your statues and politics.

Earlier this week, I found myself receiving complaints from two people who lamented that I stopped loving them (they did say, “masiku ano munasiya kutikonda”). These are two people who do not know each other but were once close friends a couple of years back. When I first heard what they had to say to me, I found myself being surprised but after giving it a bit of thought, I realized that there might be a lot of people who feel the same but are unable to express it as openly. Moving on with the week, I was also reminded as to how bad I am at handling conversations and how I am not that good with the very thing I enjoy; texting. Another conversation reminded me of how I am not that good at reading the green lights from prospective ujenis and how I have blown my chances of landing in the arms of a fair lady because of the lack of this basic skill. At some point, I concluded that I suck at this whole being human thing considering that humans are social beings (or social animals, depending on your mood). After giving it a bit of thought, I recognized how dynamic human interaction may be and how we need to set realistic expectations for both ourselves and others in interpersonal relations.

Back in my foundation year, our Language and Communication Lecturers taught us how outcomes of communication are influenced by the perception of the initiator and recipient of the communication. In this regard, sometimes what one person means may be interpreted differently by the target audience which makes communication a tricky thing. I got myself thinking about this because the things that people said about my conduct towards them were a typical example of this phenomenon.

Without blowing much of a loud whistle for myself, I would like to believe that the fact that you can read this article means that you have reached a certain level in life. I am saying this because I know that most readers of these things are either students in reputable tertiary institutions or young graduates who are rising in life. The fact that you have attained your current status means that there is a certain gap between you and the person you sat next to in your secondary school class at Nanjiriri CDSS and they may not always interpret that gap well. The fact that you graduated from the University of Malawi means that your brain does not oscillate at the same wavelength with your distant cousin who didn’t and you should never feel guilty for not being able to have a conversation as good as that you had in the days of old.

When I was in my second year in college, I bumped into my Standard 6 classmate. This was at the beginning of the semester when I had all the time in the world so I gladly suggested that he visits my room and we have a chat. A couple of months later, he came unannounced and knocked on my door while I was busy preparing for my end of year examinations. He had a rude awakening when I told him that I did not have the time for a chat and he needed to go back because I was preparing for examinations. I never heard from the guy again and it is probably because he felt insulted as he did not understand my situation. Little did he know that I had done the exact same thing to my sister who had come to see me just a day before. Gaps. Do not expect me to be chatting with you as nicely as we do when I get a job with the United Nations in Geneva. I will also manage my expectations because I know a lot of you are going to rise to greater heights.

Time and distance are another factor that leads to differences in interaction. If at some point we were best friends while we both lived under the care of Group Village Headman Makalani some 15 years back, our interaction may not be the same now because I moved from that side and we may not have the proximity for the interaction. Most of us tend to expect to utilize technology to interact with people as frequently and nicely as when they were living within a stone’s throw distance. I regret to announce that it is not the case and that is simply because with distance and time your friends will meet other people with whom they click. If you are physically far away, the new friends may replace you automatically and never count that as your friends’ fault. We will discuss the issue of ending relationships because of going to college or because your spouse has been withdrawn a bit later in the year (probably in June, when we are done collecting data).

Adding to differences in social status and the time and distance factor, it is worth noting that sometimes people may shun from communicating because of a perceived need to give you some space.  This may be due to your personal behavior and attitude towards the people around you or your new associations. While we are still on the new associations, we should also realize that shifts in faith will lead to shifts in friendships and connections because people tend to stop associating with non-believers when they get born again and others find their new born again friends boring following such shifts in beliefs.

While we may try to explain changes in interaction and put them in theoretical frameworks, it is important to realize that friendships are just dynamic. From my personal experience, we tend to treat people differently and sometimes there is no particular reason for the variation. I have friends with whom I expect a chat every single day before a certain hour in the morning while the people I may consider best friends may go a couple of days without my greeting. You might have those people with whom you just nicely text on a regular basis without feeling compelled to meet for some mang’ina (I have three with whom I have never met) and there are those with whom you only text when you want to schedule a chat in person.

These dynamics in interaction have a lot of implications about who we interact with and considering that one’s network is one’s net worth, it is important to understand how these interactions work and how to balance them up. It is also important to note that personal interaction is heavily affected by people’s abilities to express themselves in different situations. While some people may be free-spirited and able to spit everything they have in their chests, some are more reserved and would hardly express their feelings with the rest being in the middle to a degree.

The search for a spouse has turned out to be a tricky venture considering interaction dynamics. People have ended up being disappointed after asking someone who they thought was into them out only to be told off. Ladies have ended up being frustrated after not being asked out by someone to whom they thought they had shown all the necessary green lights. In general, communication may get distorted by different kinds of noises they may range from personal perspectives through time and distance to cultural differences. Having realized this, we need to develop the art of communicating by learning to understand our audiences and simulating how best we can craft our communication to make sure that they get the intended message. We also need to manage our expectations from ourselves and other people when it comes to personal communication because we may not always communicate as efficiently as we would want to.

Human interaction is dynamic.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Your Network, Your Net Worth

It is yet another wonderful Friday and we get to have yet another article. When I dropped an article last week, I did not get much feedback. The only person who gave it, however, was a first time reader who decided to compliment me for writing “like Mark Manson”. That feedback brought in mixed reactions in me and for those of you who know Mark Manson, you can easily understand why. Mark is that kind of guy who is a free spirited writer. He likes to blend some hard truths with some swear words when putting up his articles and the title to one of his bestselling books contains the infamous French word in it. He surely is a guy with skills but with his record of swear words per page he is surely is not someone I would want to be compared to.

Over the past week, I found myself in a couple of discussions that hinged on the importance of having some good social capital both by content of discussion and by the mere fact that the discussions were happening. Chatting with a couple of men of the collar and a few academic high priests (professors are high priests of knowledge according to one Prof Adamson Muula), I got to learn some things that I didn’t know previously and that has gotten me geared towards improving my life in ways I never thought of before. Having been bombarded with so much wisdom, I in the same week found myself sharing some insights about building a network with a couple of buddies of mine and the fact that this whole issue has been on my mind all week had me getting compelled to write an article.

In life, we tend to have a network of people with who we interact on professional, religious and social grounds. These interactions occur at varying frequencies and they have a bearing of what our outcomes in life turn out to be. One man once said that a person is essentially the average of the 5 people he interacts with the most. While that may not be mathematically measurable, the main point is just that we all get influenced by the people with whom we interact more often. This influence entails that we need to be a bit picky with the way we choose the people we talk to and interact with on a daily basis in order to draw inspiration towards the right things.

The general trend among young people is that we tend to be passive about the way we take people into our close networks. We tend to have people hang close to use based on one common ground without screening them for what they have to bring on offer to or take away from us. Needless to say, there has to be a certain level of scrutiny that has to be involved when picking one’s inner circle.

In one of the presentations I attended by arguably one of the best upcoming health researchers in the country, he talked of how having a good network propelled and is still propelling him to greater heights. In his words, he talked of how he had mentors who guided him towards fulfilling his goals at every stage of his career and how he had peers who challenged him to do better. It is from this that I would like to extend the concept of horizontal and vertical dimensions of networking.

As we grow along with our dreams and aspirations of a better life, we need to realize that there are people who have gone before us and enjoyed the things we desire the most. In our workplaces, churches and communities there is no shortage of people with successful careers, families and spiritual lives. While we may have our own ideas on how to perfectly run our lives, sometimes it is worth sitting down under the teaching of those who are doing it and learning a thing or two.

While in the same journey, we also have peers with similar aspirations. These are people with whom we may chat casually or interact by virtue of being in the same profession, workplace, religious entity or community. In the same settings, there are also some who may not be as ambitious and goal oriented. It is important, then to flock with those with whom we can speak the same language of goals, self-development and progress.

I totally understand people who would dispute this line of thought with the dismissive line that there is no single way of living life which anyone has to prescribe. On the other hand, this world operates on principles and those have to be followed to an extent. While we should aim at being unique in our lives, we need to appreciate that lessons from other people’s experiences have the potential to improve our lives when carefully tailored and applied. That being said, it does not mean that learning from superiors should make us lose our ability to make our own decisions.

If you do not buy into this thing of speaking the same language of progress with your peers, you should at least understand that you do not have to wallow in vice and negativity because of your friends either. At the very least, you should have friends who can tell you off whenever you spell out your plans of doing something dodgy.

Allow me to share another view of a person’s inner circle by spelling out the fact that a spouse forms an integral part of such a circle. It therefore, is important to make sure that there is a level of objectivity that is roped in when picking a spouse because being part of the inner circle, he or she is likely to have so much influence on one’s life. A spouse needs to be someone you can plan with in the short, intermediate and long term and one needs to make a good pick in those regards. Again, if you do not buy into this utopian thinking, you should at the very least be someone who can say no to your funny and dodgy plans and actions.

For those of you who feel like you have a bit of wisdom worth sharing, you need to understand the horizontal and vertical dimensions of networking in line with sharing. The vertical dimension entails having superior people to mentor you in your network and the horizontal dimension involves making the right picks for the people in your inner circle (including bae). The vertical dimension, on the other hand also extends downwards with those of us who are able supporting those who greatly need our support.  We need to realize that however small what we have may be, there are people who could benefit from it.

Having written all this with the above title, I found myself wondering whether I had heard this “your network is your net worth” statement. To avoid being called a plagiarist, I looked the statement up and I found out that “Your Network is Your Net Worth” is a book by Porter Gale. Full title? Your Network Is Your Net Worth: Unlock the Hidden Power of Connections for Wealth, Success, and Happiness in the Digital Age. I can't wait to get a copy.

Happy weekend to you all.