Why 2021 will be our year

 with Richie

It is a Friday and it is not just any other. It is the first Friday and first day of the year. A Happy New Year to you, Dear Reader. It is going to be a very good year for Richie Online readers from the way we see it here at the Richie Online Editorial Office in Naperi, Blantyre.

Over the years, new years days have been punctuated by statements of optimism. If I am not mistaken, back in 2019 people had this slogan that said “tikapanda kuiphula tidyera pamoto pomwepo”. That literally translates to “if we do not get it served we will eat from the cooking pot”. This may be difficult to get for non-Chichewa speakers but the idea was that if things were not going to work, we were still going to force them until we at the end of the year could say that the year was better than the previous. Last year people came up with the “tikapanda kutola chikwama tikasoketsa chathu”; “if we do not stumble upon a bag (of money, presumably), we are going to have our own made”. Here is the common factor; both “kutola chikwama” and “kuiphula” symbolize and entail prosperity. Long story short, these were statements of determination with people declaring that whatever was going to happen, they were going to make it in the coming year.

This year is no different. You may not have heard the new slogan, but it goes like “zikapanda kutiyendera tiziyendera ifeyo”. If luck does not visit us, we are going to visit it. Bold one, right? One comedian cum poet who I will not mention for the fear of being killed accused us of being unrepentant and coming up with slogan after slogan when such sayings do not change our fortunes year after year. A friend of mine who is also an avid reader of these pieces of random thoughts and alternative wisdom once threatened to block everyone who was going to be posting declarations that 2021 will be our year. Well. I am here to say exactly what you are opposing, Dave. 2021 will be our year and here is why.

The first reason for which I am optimistic about 2020 is that 2020 has been so full of bitter lessons which have equipped us with the wisdom we need in 2021. We have learnt how best to handle a pandemic despite being a resource-limited country. The public, private and corporate sectors adapted and despite the economy taking a hit, we did not die. We learnt some lessons on how to manage even when things are not ideal and I think we will utilize those come this year. And we will be fine.

Here is the other reason. We seem to have gotten slightly better at making resolutions and seeing them through over the years. I have seen what coaches and motivational speakers are posting over the festive season through WhatsApp status update reposts and I can see that people are getting appropriate guidance. Along with that has come a strong will to succeed. I am pretty sure we will do better this time around. I am just that positive.

And then there are those toxic friends which we cut as we broke into the new day and year. We all know that those ones were the ones that were delaying our arrival into the promised land and the fact that we have let them go means that our journey to the land of milk and honey will be accelerated. We are going to build those houses after getting rid of those drunkards and we are going to get that new face green Mazda Demio after blocking those good for nothing gossipers. We have unloaded the extra baggage so we can run faster towards our goals. Eetu.

Here is the other thing that is making me confident that 2021 is going to be our year. I for some reason feel like that we are going to be better at returning each other’s money and property if need be. We all know the concept of debt. Whenever we are short of cash we ask friends to give us something some money so that we can buy some consumables or invest in something. This money is supposed to be returned as soon as the borrower is comfortable financially but last year we saw a rise in the number of complaints from people whose monies were not returned when they were collected as debts. This was so much so that people came up with a saying that the world has become so tough that you have to work for your money twice; first at your hustle and second when claiming it from a person who owes you. This year, though, we are not going to have trouble with people who owe us money. Know why? People magically learnt how to repay loans the moment the year changed from 2020 to 2021. Well. Here is the other more convincing reason. We are not going to have issues with people who owe us money because we are not lending out money in 2021. The interesting thing is that while we used to say we do not have money in a bid to run away from helping a brother or sister in 2020, in 2021 we are going to be telling them in their faces that we have money but do not want to help them for the fear of losing money and a friend. Ndati tilemeratu.

Here is one for my Malawian friends. His year we are going to do well because the Tonse Gaffment will come through on its promises. I kid you not when I say that 1 million jobs are coming, and these are for the youth. Come the end of the year, we are going to have District Geographical Information Officers in every corner of the world and if we are going that far then we are assured that if that is the case 1.5 million jobs are coming. The other promises of eating three times a day, clearing the rubble and all sorts of things will come too. I am sure el presidente will renounce his chancellorship of public universities and will not be making monotonous public appointments. I could go on yammering about this for day but I just want you to refer to the Tonse manifesto. Yes. That is what they are going to do and my optimistic self thinks that they will be done implementing their manifesto come September. Malawi will be transformed beyond recognition. Isn’t that a good thing, Dave?

And here is the last curveball. Generally 2020 was a bad year for most and I doubt things could get any worse. There some who have always said that after 100 years things go south.  In 1820 there was a cholera pandemic and in 1920 there was the Spanish flu so it was inevitable that 2020 was going to be a drama queen and would bring its own pandemic. There we were with Covid-19. And to give credit to TB Joshua (just like I did in the last article which most of you did not read), the doom in 2020 was predicted. As far as I know, no prophet has predicted a pandemic in 2021 so we should be fine. If you want to ask me what I mean by “no prophet” ask me on WhatsApp after reading the article. But here is the other thing. You all said that 2020 has been a bad year but some said it was good. In fact, they said that you should not project the badness of your year onto them. I mean… I somehow managed to uncover the identity of the Venomous Hope who I have learnt now has a newborn baby. Congratulations to him. Ndapezanso chibwenzi this year and that is not too bad. One of my contributors, the Daydreamer, got engaged on Monday and another, Alexious Kamangila got married in 2020. We said 2020 was bad but it was good for most. You see where I am going with this? You don’t. But 2021 is going to be a great year. You hear that, Dave?

There is this thing that some clever people came up with. They are saying that 2021 sounds like “2020 won” and 2022 sounds like “2020 too”. I will raise a middle finder to that because I know 2021 will be our year. Zikapanda kutiyendera, tiziyendera. If luck is not going to visit us, we are going to visit it.

Some of you may dismiss my arguments as weak. I know that they are weak. And I want you to know, that I know. But here is the whole point. You cannot deny people the right to hope for a good year. If we envision a good year ahead, let us be and sod off with your negativity.

2021 is going to be our year, whether you want it or not. 

Happy New Year, Dear Reader.

Can you all welcome Barefoot Bob to the line of Richie Online readers? I will talk about him some time in the course of the year; our year, 2021.