That Semi-formal Chat

 For some reason Monday happened to be Valentine’s Day. The usual things happened which meant that people bought each other flowers that were nicely laced with chocolates and fruits. Those that received plastic flowers are still enjoying the sight despite frowning at the fact that they did not receive fresh flowers while those that received fresh ones have thrown them away. Gentlemen. Did she get the right size of Wave zone slippers and stockings this time around? I hope she did. If she went extra and bought you some fancy gift, lucky you.

I am not sure as to how this conversation started but a friend of mine was telling me how he had received a Happy Valentine’s Day from a fellow member of the Homo sapiens species. This friend of mine may not be the kind that identifies as homophobic, but he sure would hate it if I woke up one morning and sent him a “hi dear” text. Here is the thing. Such messages feel weird for the likes of us traditional humans who find it to write the “dear” in an email salutation whatever the gender of the recipient. In short, I could relate with how it felt for him to get such a text.

Being the naturally curious person I am, I was bound to enquiring more on why this person was so invested in the relationship with this friend of mine who I would have called an idiot if I was not typing a Richie Online article. It turns out, this friend of mine happens to hold a significant position at the company he works at. At some point he happened to be at some garage at Biwi or whichever dusty place he happened to be in trying to get his twin-cab fixed when he got to bump into this young man in question. After exchanging pleasantries, the two had realized that they were in the same trade and there were possibilities that they could offer each other employment or services or whatever it could be. Somehow they ended up exchanging numbers and that is where the trouble began.

Apparently our aspiring junior, upon getting the prospective employer’s contact decided to go all out with daily reminders on how he was qualified and could somehow fit the profile of the employee my friend’s company needed. Those messages were laced with all sorts of seasonal messages for things that this weird human I call a friend doesn’t celebrate. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy Chinese New Year. Happy Veterans Day. Now Happy Valentine’s Day. I understand some of you wish your parents a Happy Valentine’s Day on WhatsApp statuses they will not see but a fellow man wishing you a happy Valentine’s day counts as weird for most of the guys reading this. Turns out this guy has been towing this line to get a job all along he has used every opportunity to wish this friend a good morning, good day, nice lunch and good night. That had me wondering if there are some unwritten rules for communicating with senior people who can offer opportunities.

Earlier this year I got a friend request from a young man who happened to introduce himself as a student in some medical school. We exchanged a few pleasantries and I asked how school was going before he asked me how work was. I happened to mention that I am also doing school beyond the Mediterranean and we talked some more. Then I was hit with a curveball. The young man asked me for help with his medical equipment. Was that expected? Yep. Did I expect it on the first chat? Nope. Considering that I am not the sort of guy you call an influencer, I feel like this guy should have given it time and chatted with me a little more to see if I was the right person to approach for such but I think he can be forgiven for that. What he can’t be forgiven for, however is that he asked specifically for the high end Littman cardiology stethoscope. I checked on Amazon and the cheapest I could find was going at an equivalent of a little over ninety thousand in Malawi Kwacha. Someone asked for that on our first interaction on social media. I will get back to this.

Time and again we are confronted with the reality that we need to have an unconventional approach to life and to do things differently because the world is not operating in the same way it was a couple of years back. If you are looking for a job nowadays, looking in the papers or wherever people look for job openings nowadays may not be the best idea because every job opening attracts 300 applications. If you have the opportunity to interact with potential employers, perhaps it may be important for you to use that to pitch why you are a fit for their organization. I have had some nights where I marketed myself to potential employers on a wild drinking night with varying levels of success and results. All in all, I know there are some two people who know my skills and would contact me from time to time to ask for my availability when putting out an opening because of a chat we had outside work circles. I may not be the model for this, but I think there are a few things that we need to pay attention to when approaching people in situations like these.

Firstly, the introduction. When you meet senior people whose help you may need later, the first thing is to tell them who you are, what you do, what you can do and show them why they should continue to be in a conversation with you. Whether you are doing this in person, on social media or through an email, it is important to state your name, qualifications and your experience. You also need to chuck in a bit of how you knew the person in question and how they inspired you with their work so you don’t give them an image that you are clueless. Important humans do not like conversations with clueless people. Talking of names, if you are pulling a social media connect, you might want to check that the name on your account doesn’t look like that of an extraterrestrial creature. On the introduction, present your profile, but also take some time to listen to what the person you are approaching has to say. It is important to not play the know it all or to oversell yourself.

Then there is the issue of maintaining a conversation. Once the connection has been established, there is a need to exercise caution when maintaining contact. If there are some agreed timelines at which you agreed to do something, make sure you do it within the same. If they agreed to do something by a specific date, send courteous reminders. There should be nothing in between these conversations. No useless “Hi” on their WhatsApp and no Happy World Groundnuts Day. If you are looking for a job, make your intentions clear but do not appear desperate to the point where you get to be annoying. Keep everything professional.

There comes a point when we ask for help from other people with more knowledge and experience on different issues. The idea behind asking for advice is for us to get more information that can help us make sound decisions and advice is meant to be taken or disregarded. However, when getting advice or tips, you should limit your responses to nodding in agreement even if you do not agree with what your advisor is saying. Arguing and bringing alternative perspectives has no place in that conversation for you. Don’t argue when people you go to for advice are talking to you.

There we are then. Time and again we are presented with the opportunity to interact with different people in positions of influence. If you were to be in the same room with Dr Laz for other things, perhaps it may not be a good idea for you to talk about how he is running the country and provide unsolicited opinions on the same. There is a time, setting and context for every connection you have. Keep professional things professional and social things social. Eeetu. 

Happy Friday!

Four Months In

 About 4 months ago I jumped on an Ethiopian bird at the Chileka so called International Airport and disappeared into the sunset. The destination? The UK. Pa boma. London, the capital of the world. I was venturing into the unknown having never been to the UK before. This time I was to be away for a year, pursuing further education. There was a lot of anxiety about whether I, a boy from a rural district called Chiradzulu was going to find my footing in what is one of the largest metropolitan areas in the world. 4 months down the line, I have lived and thrived to tell the tale.

A bit of context. Prior to coming to the UK, I had two options of where to study. Interestingly enough, the options came in the form of two cities that are very different from one another: London and Bristol. London is London. You know it and you have heard of it. Big city. 10 million people. Fast-paced life. Tall skyscrapers. Red buses. When you breathe London oxygen, they take a pound from your account, according to the memes. Bristol on the other hand is a relatively small city on the south western coast of England and is not as big and expensive as London. When I thought about daily life, Bristol seemed to be the better option for me. I mean, I am from Chiradzulu and I find Lilongwe confusing. Probably not a good idea to put such a simpleton in London, right? When I thought about the bigger picture and the skills I needed to get, however, London seemed to have the better course. So I settled for the big one.

The moment I took the opportunity to study in London I knew that I would be in for a shocker. For starters, the UK is very different from Malawi and going to live anywhere on this rock was going to be associated with a huge cultural shift. Then there is the London factor. Going to the biggest city of them all in the UK proved to be a big thing. For some time I was going to be in this place getting an education. It was going to be a challenge and fun at the same time, but I did not realize the full extent of the challenge and fun.

In the first few weeks I was here, I could not help but marvel at the level of organization and order. I am talking about the basic things like cleanliness of the streets and parks, conservation efforts, public transport, town planning and many other things. One can easily appreciate the efforts that were put in to make this city sustainable for the foreseeable future. The interesting thing for me is that the things I have come to appreaciate about living in the UK have little to nothing to do with all that man-made hibber jabber. First is the weather. While I thought I would struggle too much with the cold, it turns out that I like it. The few windshields I bought to adapt set me back a fortune but at the end of the day, the weather is just fine and fosters productivity. Then there is the fact that there are no mosquitoes. You may think of this as something funny but sleeping with a window open (I do that) with no need for a mosquito net is a very big thing for me. I love this place for it.

Prior to my departure, I had conversations with people who had lived and studied in London to ask for tips on how to make it in this place. These were to do with the basics of life; how to find good and affordable accommodation, good phone networks, how to handle transportation, academics, shopping and many other things. These chats offered a lot of good tips and gave me a picture of what to expect in the big city. Accompanying the tips were useful recommendations on what to do upon getting here. Interestingly enough, when I came to the place I realized how diverse people’s experiences of this city can be and how everyone needs to figure out how they are going to live in this metropolis.

As I mentioned and as some of you may probably have heard, London is a very expensive city to live in. From my experience, I think the city is very expensive because the cost of accommodation is just too much. The interesting thing is that what you can use to pay for a room that is just comfortable with all the necessary amenities would be money that you can use to pay for a decent house in Area 49 Dubai or Chilomoni Fargo. For twice or three times as long. When I got into this place, I was quickly reminded of how I needed to stop converting the price of everything I was buying to Malawi Kwacha. If you want to travel to a different country too, you will realize that the first time you travel you cannot help it but convert every time you buy anything. As you adapt, however, you need to move from that to thinking, planning and budgeting in the currency of the place you are in.

Then there is the food. When I was looking at my accommodation options, I chose a housing option that offers food. My reasoning was that school was going to be busy and I was probably not going to find time to be cooking. That was a risk in itself because I was not sure of what kind of food the cafeteria in the place was going to be serving. It later turned out that the dinner they serve is a mixture of English, Italian and Indian cuisine. Not bad, if you are to ask me. When I was leaving a bunch of people asked me if I had taken some ufa and matemba. Turns out I did not carry some with me knowing my catering arrangements. On the other hand, however, I am wondering if I would have taken some if I had secured self-catering accommodation. My reasoning for not taking such would be that coming here would be an opportunity to experience aspects of other cultures including food. Way I see it, one year is not too long a period to be eating what Indians, Italians, Brits, Greeks, Japs and everyone else calls food. At least for me, anyway. 4 months without eating nsima and I kind of am still okay. The only times I miss it are the times that some of you uncultured humans post nsima with usipa ofutsa on your WhatsApp status updates. Y’all should stop that.

I get fascinated by the questions I get from home. Some of these questions are from people who have lived on this side of the planet, checking if I am living a life similar to theirs or one they expect me to live. Have you been to such a place? How are you finding everything? Have you been to the Pump Handle Bar and the clubs in Brixton? Then there is the next set of questions from people who have no idea of what setting I am in. What time is it that side? (Easy to find on Google). Are there churches there? Did you manage to find a good house? What kind of food are you eating? Have you been to the Emirates Stadium yet? All these are questions you need to answer with a certain level of patience I never knew I had before I came here.

Being in London offers a certain kind of access to things that people outside the place cannot access. You walk around and find shops for each major company or chain of shops you have heard of. Daily, you are offered the option of buying the latest and authentic gadgets, clothes and sneakers. These are things that you can afford to spare some money and buy. On the other hand, you need to have some discipline to thrive because you get to see offers of top range things going at unbelievable prices every day. If you are not careful, you may end up spending all your lunch money on cell phones and smart watches.

Overall, my first four months in London have been a wonderful experience. Given what I have been through, I would pick London again over any other city in the UK for the experience it offers. I have heard other people say that if you can live in London, you can live anywhere and while I may not agree fully, I think they have a good point. This place offers a lot in quality of life and opportunities given the right skills. It is just a maze with 10 million people brisk walking in different directions to do different things and that is what makes it a good place to study and live. In 4 months, I have graduated from getting repeatedly lost in some places to being the person non-Londoners ask for directions. Progress.

What was I on about then? Any lessons from this post? Probably none. I just wanted to let things out like I do once in a while. If you want me to squeeze a lesson out of this, then what I can say is that you need to travel. Get to see what other people in other cultures do. Eat their food and have a go at speaking their language. If they dance, join in too. That may give you some insights of why we are where we are as a nation and possibly instil in you some holy anger that you may need to move things forward.

One may ask. Do you miss Malawi? I am not answering that question. At least not now.