That Semi-formal Chat

 For some reason Monday happened to be Valentine’s Day. The usual things happened which meant that people bought each other flowers that were nicely laced with chocolates and fruits. Those that received plastic flowers are still enjoying the sight despite frowning at the fact that they did not receive fresh flowers while those that received fresh ones have thrown them away. Gentlemen. Did she get the right size of Wave zone slippers and stockings this time around? I hope she did. If she went extra and bought you some fancy gift, lucky you.

I am not sure as to how this conversation started but a friend of mine was telling me how he had received a Happy Valentine’s Day from a fellow member of the Homo sapiens species. This friend of mine may not be the kind that identifies as homophobic, but he sure would hate it if I woke up one morning and sent him a “hi dear” text. Here is the thing. Such messages feel weird for the likes of us traditional humans who find it to write the “dear” in an email salutation whatever the gender of the recipient. In short, I could relate with how it felt for him to get such a text.

Being the naturally curious person I am, I was bound to enquiring more on why this person was so invested in the relationship with this friend of mine who I would have called an idiot if I was not typing a Richie Online article. It turns out, this friend of mine happens to hold a significant position at the company he works at. At some point he happened to be at some garage at Biwi or whichever dusty place he happened to be in trying to get his twin-cab fixed when he got to bump into this young man in question. After exchanging pleasantries, the two had realized that they were in the same trade and there were possibilities that they could offer each other employment or services or whatever it could be. Somehow they ended up exchanging numbers and that is where the trouble began.

Apparently our aspiring junior, upon getting the prospective employer’s contact decided to go all out with daily reminders on how he was qualified and could somehow fit the profile of the employee my friend’s company needed. Those messages were laced with all sorts of seasonal messages for things that this weird human I call a friend doesn’t celebrate. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy Chinese New Year. Happy Veterans Day. Now Happy Valentine’s Day. I understand some of you wish your parents a Happy Valentine’s Day on WhatsApp statuses they will not see but a fellow man wishing you a happy Valentine’s day counts as weird for most of the guys reading this. Turns out this guy has been towing this line to get a job all along he has used every opportunity to wish this friend a good morning, good day, nice lunch and good night. That had me wondering if there are some unwritten rules for communicating with senior people who can offer opportunities.

Earlier this year I got a friend request from a young man who happened to introduce himself as a student in some medical school. We exchanged a few pleasantries and I asked how school was going before he asked me how work was. I happened to mention that I am also doing school beyond the Mediterranean and we talked some more. Then I was hit with a curveball. The young man asked me for help with his medical equipment. Was that expected? Yep. Did I expect it on the first chat? Nope. Considering that I am not the sort of guy you call an influencer, I feel like this guy should have given it time and chatted with me a little more to see if I was the right person to approach for such but I think he can be forgiven for that. What he can’t be forgiven for, however is that he asked specifically for the high end Littman cardiology stethoscope. I checked on Amazon and the cheapest I could find was going at an equivalent of a little over ninety thousand in Malawi Kwacha. Someone asked for that on our first interaction on social media. I will get back to this.

Time and again we are confronted with the reality that we need to have an unconventional approach to life and to do things differently because the world is not operating in the same way it was a couple of years back. If you are looking for a job nowadays, looking in the papers or wherever people look for job openings nowadays may not be the best idea because every job opening attracts 300 applications. If you have the opportunity to interact with potential employers, perhaps it may be important for you to use that to pitch why you are a fit for their organization. I have had some nights where I marketed myself to potential employers on a wild drinking night with varying levels of success and results. All in all, I know there are some two people who know my skills and would contact me from time to time to ask for my availability when putting out an opening because of a chat we had outside work circles. I may not be the model for this, but I think there are a few things that we need to pay attention to when approaching people in situations like these.

Firstly, the introduction. When you meet senior people whose help you may need later, the first thing is to tell them who you are, what you do, what you can do and show them why they should continue to be in a conversation with you. Whether you are doing this in person, on social media or through an email, it is important to state your name, qualifications and your experience. You also need to chuck in a bit of how you knew the person in question and how they inspired you with their work so you don’t give them an image that you are clueless. Important humans do not like conversations with clueless people. Talking of names, if you are pulling a social media connect, you might want to check that the name on your account doesn’t look like that of an extraterrestrial creature. On the introduction, present your profile, but also take some time to listen to what the person you are approaching has to say. It is important to not play the know it all or to oversell yourself.

Then there is the issue of maintaining a conversation. Once the connection has been established, there is a need to exercise caution when maintaining contact. If there are some agreed timelines at which you agreed to do something, make sure you do it within the same. If they agreed to do something by a specific date, send courteous reminders. There should be nothing in between these conversations. No useless “Hi” on their WhatsApp and no Happy World Groundnuts Day. If you are looking for a job, make your intentions clear but do not appear desperate to the point where you get to be annoying. Keep everything professional.

There comes a point when we ask for help from other people with more knowledge and experience on different issues. The idea behind asking for advice is for us to get more information that can help us make sound decisions and advice is meant to be taken or disregarded. However, when getting advice or tips, you should limit your responses to nodding in agreement even if you do not agree with what your advisor is saying. Arguing and bringing alternative perspectives has no place in that conversation for you. Don’t argue when people you go to for advice are talking to you.

There we are then. Time and again we are presented with the opportunity to interact with different people in positions of influence. If you were to be in the same room with Dr Laz for other things, perhaps it may not be a good idea for you to talk about how he is running the country and provide unsolicited opinions on the same. There is a time, setting and context for every connection you have. Keep professional things professional and social things social. Eeetu. 

Happy Friday!