In the Midst of the Chaos….

Dear reader. Long time!

Today happens to be a not so wonderful Friday. The weather happens to be on the opposite side of cold and the situation with Blantyre Water Board is not helping much for many. Still, we have to thank the higher power for life and the gift of an article which we haven’t had in the past two weeks.

I am inclined to start giving excuses for not giving my readers some food for Fridays. Partly, it is because I like to explain myself when I have not done what was expected of me (even if I have to explain to myself). The other reason is just that I do not have much to write about and I am looking forward to using the excuses to get to the minimum length of the article.

Two weeks ago, I found me surprising myself by attending some classes at the college God loved the most. This was one thing I never saw myself doing when I joined the College of Medicine back in 2010 as I thought that my life would remain confined to the hospital with little to do with whatever people learn at Chancellor College. There I was. I was on a desk learning new skills in the Department of Mathematics and by the end of the week I found myself graduating with a certificate in something not medical. The ceremony was graced by the some Dean of Faculty and I honestly thought it was blown out of proportion. Instead of lighting up my spirits as it would have done on a normal day (I have been told that ndine okonda zinthu), I found the whole thing to be a time waster as I had to sit through it instead of solving some urgent issues at work online.

After everything, I found myself sitting in the Senior Common Room, making calls and sending e-mails for a good part of the afternoon. I left the place at dusk and had no energy to continue building an article from the two paragraphs I had written. Basitu. Just like that and there was nothing  to read. This was just school and work. I am wondering as to what will happen when we add a wife later this year and a copy next year. This blog will probably die.

Having been away for most of the previous week, I got back to work to a lot of things. Despite all that, I had a very good week. When Friday came, I found myself drafting an article on the current political hibber jabber in the country. Two A4 pages down the line, I found myself leaving my desk and packing my bags. Destination? To meet some real estate agent. Ma agent a manyumba awa. A couple of minibuses and a long walk later, I found myself giving someone a bunch of notes for pointing to a house and assuring me that it was going to be vacant by the end of the month. The guy probably did that with a couple of others and a week down the line, I still do not have a house I can move into at the end of the month. When I went back home and looked at the article I had drafted earlier, I quickly realized that I had stepped on toes of some really powerful people by taking serious swipes at pretty much every major political party with the worst blows going to the ruling party. I wasn’t in the mood of getting myself killed then, so I decided not to post it (it is somewhere in my laptop, though). Write another one? Not after losing my energy and cash dealing with an agent. Voila! Two weeks, no article.

Rather not unexpectedly, it has been a couple of weeks with too much activity. With just a couple of months to the elections, the country’s electoral body officially opened up the campaign period. Alliances have been birthed and manifestos launched with political stunts coming out of pretty much nowhere. Election debates continue to generate mixed and politically tainted opinions as we build up towards the presidential debates.  Various sections of society (including our own Society of Medical Doctors to which I proudly belong) are mobilizing resources to help those in need after the devastating floods. Internationally, Britain’s exit from the European Union is headlining the international news.

As a person who loves the social media and following current affairs, I have always found myself patronizing or watching debates and discussions to do with what is going on in the country. While going through my Facebook news feed and trashing partisan posts, I found an interesting post by some blue-blooded cadet who had posted the link to the UTM website. He had crafted the post with some fancy English and being the lazy guy I am, I was dumped all the efforts to understand the message behind the message and jumped on the link. On the site, I quickly noticed one thing; there was a timer counting down to the UTM government. I found that interesting and weird at the same time and I found myself taking a screenshot of the timer for my WhatsApp status post.

With a contact list full of people who think, speak and eat politics, the post was not short of comments. Others commented on how it was childish for a political party to have such a thing on their website. Others (and these ones I agreed with) talked of how much disappointment a loss in the election would cause for the party. While the political comments were flowing, however, one human gave a rather unusual comment. Flashing out a screenshot of something I posted on the 27^th December in 2018, he asked me to keep my own goals and countdowns at the back of my mind. The screenshot was a list of three probably unrealistic things that I said I wanted to do in 2019 at the time. If you are curious, the list contained three simple things; losing weight, quitting alcohol and getting married by the end of 2019.

The fact that someone sent this screenshot for the second time this year reminded me as to how we are approaching the end of the first quarter of the year. Three months into the year, I am beginning to realize how much I have been not been focusing on my personal goals despite following every presidential nomination paper presentation and big rally. I have come to the realization that I haven’t yet accomplished things I was supposed to accomplish by February and yet I have distinction level knowledge on how the whole BREXIT process is. What a baddie I have been! If it was way back, I would have taken solace in the fact that a lot of my friends are travelling in the same class of the train as me, but that makes me worried.

I do not have a web of clever lessons today but all I have to say is that in the midst of the noise and chaos in the country and wherever, we need to take time and examine our own progress based on our own goals. We need to work on time bound goals with the realization that politics, weddings, football, work and movies will always be there. Some of these things do not contribute to our personal development, anyway. That being said, I am not saying that we should not patronize the Presidential debate, the Zander Zakuza show or the Charity Shield matches. Let us entertain ourselves with whatever applies, but in the midst of the noise of all that, let us remember to keep our own souls and progress in mind.

Happy weekend.

The Debate

It is a rainy Friday in the commercial capital of the city. Still, it is another Friday on which we get to be treated with a read. Contrary to my expectations, last week’s article attracted no serious comments as most only went as far as questioning as to what was going through my mind when I included links to five articles at the end of the Friday one. Well. Not much. Just wanted everyone to hack into my mind and know how I think about the topic.

I went through the week looking forward to yesterday, Thursday the 7^th of March, 2019. Other than the work and church things I had lined up, I was looking forward to watching the presidential running mate debate organized by Zodiak. My reasons for anticipating this debate were pretty similar to everyone else’s. I wanted to listen to the people who have higher chances of being the country’s second in command articulate issues to do with governance and development. Not unlike other doctors, I really wanted the candidates to speak out about what they were going to do about the ailing health system in addition to what they would do in other important areas like food security, internal security, infrastructure development and tourism among others. Of course there was another personal element to it. I was looking forward to seeing the running mate to the sitting President prove us all wrong by demonstrating his competence and command of the Queen’s language.

The debate started while I was at work. I had my phone tuned in to Zodiak radio in the pocket of my pants with my set of earphones running under my coat and coming behind my ear. I was set and so were the organizers. Earlier in the week, I had spent a good chunk of my time debating with friends as to whether the man from Ntcheu would show up for the debate. While the prophets of doom insisted that he would chicken out, I was very optimistic and I continually told them off saying he wouldn’t make such a mistake. This was the time that we were all about to find out as to which one of us qualified for the prophetic ministry. The speeches sadly announced that the honorable minister was not around and that was followed by chants that mocked him for shunning the debate. Tiyeni tidzitaye.

The debate, in my view was well conducted. The host and the whole team did a very good job with time management and by the said time everything was starting. When the debaters took it to the stage, there was a good flow of questions from across the fields and they allowed the audience as well as those who could ask questions through the phone to do so. Well done, achina  Joab ndi alongo ache.

Perhaps some of you are waiting for the meat of the article which would be my opinion on who aced the debate. Do I have an answer to that? I probably do not but I can try to objectively dissect the way they responded to the questions. You will however have to look somewhere else for the ratings. Hopefully your source will not be biased towards or against someone.

The little known orange running mate came in flashing his PhD and a whole lot of positions which he has worked in. Looking at the CVs of the running mates, he is the one who came in impressive as a diplomat and a holder of big public offices. He, in my view answered the questions with a great deal of objectivity but somehow he is not a natural public speaker a thing which will take down his ratings by many reviewers. The fact that the lady he is running with also had a shot at the presidency and didn’t impress many is making things a bit hard for him. All in all, we have now known who he is and it is up to him to build up from what he did in last night’s debate in the next one and throughout the campaign period.

Bambo a Sikono came to the show as the shortest candidate but she was not short of answers. From his responses to questions, One would easily pick it that his ideology is that the biggest thing that is wrong with the country is the governance system and lack of political will to do things and to implement what we already have in our nicely written policy documents. On a couple of occasions, he completely missed the point and had to be dragged back to answering the question at hand by the host. On a closer listen, however, one would notice that the guy knew what he was talking about. If he was talking to an audience that was of a certain level of understanding, his responses that contained an element of suspense and unnecessary repetitions of questions at times would have made more sense. The guys in red have defended him saying that he was the only one who was debating while the rest of the guys were handling it as a quiz. Akutitu. At such a debate, however, we could have used much more clarity from the UTM running mate. All in all, the man put up a good show and no one complained of the activity being a waste of his PhD.

The business magnate and lower shire heavy weight came in as one guy who I was very indifferent about. While I have known him as a man who has been politically relevant over the years and as a successful businessman, his status as one person one can easily accuse of political prostitution leaves him on the wrong side of my biases. As a farmer himself, the guy came out strong on agricultural policies and he did fairly well in the other areas. His biggest low came in when he contradicted his president’s view on the provision of security for people living with albinism. That left him stuck in the mud and lost and it took a bit of unconvincing spinning to get away from that. All in all, good show Mbuya.

Frankie came in with a whole lot of political experience and as a star performer in his constituency. On the other hand, his status as the guy who was in the news for the wrong reasons in the AFORD divisions saga lingered besides the good side of him. He is a member of one party that is playing running mate to a guy of another party. How confusing! When he took the podium, he was very articulate with his answers. One could easily note how conversant he was with issues to do with how the country is run especially in the area of mining where he clearly floored everyone. His responses were bold and at some point a bit too bold. He pointed out that we needed to be a bit more tougher on immigrants who come into the country to do business, singling out the Chinese as people who are not adding value to the country’s economy. Now that was just radical but depending on which lens you are looking at this through, it may be good or bad. At some point, he found himself not answering the question but only suggesting that we give the United Democratic Front another trial run.

When the audience was given a chance to pose questions, people came up with good questions on issues of state capture, youth empowerment and issues of policy implementation or lack of thereof. Rather inevitably, the question on the issue of people living with albinism popped up. The live audience raised important issues but the down side was the verbal diarrhea that came with the questions.

The fact that the running mate to the country’s sitting president did not show up for the debate left me wondering of the possible reasons for shying away from the debate. Perhaps it could be that the man was tied with other equally or more important engagements. That, on the other hand would hardly warrant missing the much touted and important debate which was announced a week prior. Blue eyed cadets will come out with all sorts of defensive statements to cushion their man from insults but I doubt any of them will stick.

I was heartbroken when I read what one blue professional posted on some WhatsApp forum. In his words, he stated that people do not vote for a running mate but rather a president and a party. He went on to say that while people may tout the debate and the fact that a Dzonzi did not show up at the debate, the whole thing would hardly have any impact on how many votes any party will get. 

Pondering on this, I found myself realizing that it unfortunately is true which had me questioning the relevance of putting a running mate on a podium to debate. The UDF might have put up a good show and some have put it out there that he deserves a ministerial post despite whatever party carries the day come May 21, but what does that imply considering that he is in the shadow? Depressing as those thoughts were, I found myself encouraged by the fact that I understand the importance of a running mate. He is the person who is a potential vice president. While the country’s vice presidency may not be as relevant, we should all keep in mind the situation that led to JB’s ascendance to the presidency.

Later last night I found myself reading a status posted by my friend. He talked about how some people are going to give the job of the vice presidency to someone who did not show up for the interview. Another one posted an e-poster of a Dzonzi’s rally which will happen on Sunday at Zingwangwa Secondary School ground. Caption? While you were debating in English, we were planning this. 

We enjoyed the debate and we enjoyed the substance. The debate lived to most expectations save for the lack of questions to do with important aspects like health, tourism and energy (some have argued that these have probably been reserved for the presidential debates). All I am wondering here is whether the debate was anything beyond something that was meant to excite us and give us something to post about. I look forward to round 2 at COMESA Hall and I hope to be there.

Companionship

It is yet another Friday in the new month of March. Once again, we get to have something to read.

I had some feedback from last week’s piece with a majority of the readership saying that I was a bit too easy on the government and the ruling party. Perhaps those opinions were fueled by the circulating WhatsApp audios that are implicating big people in the government and the ruling party in the whole saga. The week saw a breakaway group of people living with albinism meet the President with some pledges being made by the latter; police protection, bounties a promise of houses through the building materials subsidy program. We can only hope that these promises get to be fulfilled.

Earlier this week, I found myself looking at my Facebook memories. What I found was a post from years back; something I had posted when I was post call (I was coming from a night duty, to keep it simple). I am not sure as to whether what I posted was real or whether I was just trying to blow things out of proportion and provide some humor to people who patronize my timeline. In the post, I was lamenting about how I was so tired and looking forward to a hot meal only to find that there was nothing I could pull off the shelf, heat and swallow. What I had found then was a fridge full of ingredients. Upon having a second look with the hope of finding a drink to put me to sleep, I found that there was none of that either. The lack of organization in my house found me wondering whether a companion was the right solution. I went on to suggest that if I had a wife, my life wouldn’t have been so miserable.

When I posted that (probably just for the humor), some people who like to create negativity got on the wrong side of the post. To them, what I needed to sort out the mess in my life was not a wife but a maid. Their argument was that wives are not meant to be performing maid duties and to them what I was doing was more of objectifying the woman I was to marry. This was not the first time I had been accused of such. What people failed to recognize from my post was the sense that all I felt was that it was not good for man to be alone. On the most part, it wasn’t about the companion doing the heavy lifting for me in the kitchen. On the other hand, it was about me getting organized for her sake and enjoying the fruits of good life I would fantasize for her; for us.

Ironically, the day that I saw the memory was another hard one. I had yet again gone home late after knocking off around 2100 hours with a bad craving of beef. There was no beef in the fridge and I could not go out to buy. Neither could I cook for myself at such an ungodly hour. I resorted to taking some thobwa mixed with milk and lots of sugar for the sake of cheating my tummy that I have taken something. Perhaps if there was a wife at home things could have been different. Mwina.

I happen to live in a flat that is a stone throw distance away from Osborne’s. Ozzy is my classmate from secondary school and we are the good friends and neighbors who hardly see each other thanks to our weird work schedules. On one Sunday, I surprised him when I called him asking if he could escort me to town for some grocery shopping. To him, Sunday was the wrong day for shopping but in my defense I told him that I hardly had any food and cleaning materials. Then he threw a nuke at me. Richard, you need to invest in a girlfriend. His argument was simple. If I had someone walking into the house and checking on me at least once a week, I wouldn’t be “shopping on Sunday” disorganized.

Having acquired a good number of friends who are also wounded soldiers from across the board, I have come to appreciate how hard it is to find companionship in the modern day. People are so afraid of heartbreaks and they tend to wonder why a lady or gent should be worth their time when the previous one broke their heart. On the other side of the equation are nice ladies and gentlemen who are optimistic about love, relationships and marriage. Those who are eagerly searching but somehow can’t seem to land the right spouse. This got me wondering as to why people find it hard to break away from this unnatural state of being single at 26 years of age when you are nowhere near the priesthood dream.

You might have heard someone saying that the reason they are single is just that they haven’t met the right one yet. It seems to be a puzzle when you think about how someone cannot meet the right one when there are millions of potential suitors around. Perhaps such people meet the right ones but they just don’t have the right questions. Another possibility? They may meet the right ones but somehow they tend to feel intimidated by how good the other person is, creating a feeling of self-unworthiness prompting some resultant recoiling. Zibwenzi zimangotha zisanayambe.

I have at some point talked about how our past may influence future interaction and relationships. The balance between looking at someone’s past and looking into their potential future becomes a bit difficult to strike in the modern days where people want to play it safe. Again, another issue that impedes the genesis of many potential relationships.

We could add another paragraph that could talk about how playing hard to get has been a big problem and a barrier to love. That could stick, but I would rather talk about something else. What if people are going about finding companions the wrong way? A couple of instances.

It is not a rare thing to see a guy who likes a girl spoiling her and showering her with all sorts of presents and cash wads. For those with wheels, frequent visits after every workday are not an issue. Sometimes this may be real but sometimes this may well be a stunt aimed at getting intimate with someone they are not able to commit to. On the ladies side, some have fallen for the temptation to offer their bodies, money or their time, playing the wife to someone who hardly considers them girlfriend just to win their heart over. From my observations, such one sided interactions do not end very well 9 times out of 10.

When I wrote in detail on how relationships are starting and shared some insights on how I thought they should, I pointed out that I subscribe to the old school idea of an explicit proposal. In the modern days, such proposals are becoming extinct with people falling in love under unusual circumstances. There is an emerging question on how acceptable proposals from a lady to a gent are. To such a question, I have on a number of times answered that it all depends on prior interaction between the two people. What I find wrong nowadays is that there are two types of people that waver in the extremes. The first is one that would go for the looks or other attributes without getting to know more about a person. First meeting at a wedding and a few conversations later, people are all in. The second grouping is the playing it safe one. Know a person for a year before you can get one with a relationship, they think. Problem comes when people from the two extremes meet. What the patient person would consider a premature proposal would ruin the interaction and diminish the chances of a future proper relationship.

I could keep going with the theoretical analyses that would lead me to a total diversion from my article. To get back in track, however, I would like to point out that the need for a companion cannot be overstated and it goes beyond the mere reasons of personal organization and copying and pasting of our DNA. Some of us who are just setting out in life with promising careers and business prospects need to look around and to balance up our lives by finding people we can live and grow with among other things. Some would say that there is no formula for finding the love of one’s life. We at Richie Online beg to differ. To us, finding a companion requires a careful approach so that one can get a true friend they can live with as a friend and spouse.

Perhaps we should all take some time and have a bit or a revisions of the rest of the articles which the Venomous Hope dubbed the Richie Online Love Curriculum.

Here we go with the pieces from the curriculum. Happy new month, everyone.

Lessons from the Man from Ulumba

Relationship Politics

Loving, Liking and Reciprocation

Who should Text First?

On Relationships