Friday, 23 October 2020

Lessons from the Croc

Alright. Friday. Day for an article, right? Great. Let's get on with it.

I must admit here that laziness took over this week and I did not want to write. The other reason I did not want to write was the fact that after the many things that have been reported in the news, people usually expect this blog to give them a comment on what is going on out there. Hey Richie, what do you think about the President's Q and A? I didn't watch that. What do you think about the incident in Chikwawa? Why do you care about what I think? What are your views on what the Pope said about homosexual civil unions? Not today please. Land issues? Don't get me started.

Like I have said before, the purity of a Richie Online article lies in how distant it is from current hibber jabber and how close it is to being a fact-based opinion. I am not good at commenting on current affairs, anyway. That is why in the midst of all these topical issues I decided to appeal to people who can write good posta, failure of which I would write about the Nile crocodile and other types of crocs. While someone offered to write, my thoughts are that it is unlikely that they will pull through. And that, dear reader, is why I am typing this instead of enjoying the music and concentrating on this cold drink on this beautiful Thursday night. Eetu. 

I will not base this post on the social media but rather on a book I read earlier this year. Some of my dear readers might have read the book titled Two Weeks in November. This is a book that narrates the account of the regime change that saw Robert Mugabe ousted from the Zimbabwe presidency, ushering in the current regime which has Emerson Dambuzo Mnangagwa at the helm. If you know a thing or two about African politics, you would know that the president of Zimbabwe who also happens to be a war veteran bears the nickname "the crocodile". The name is so ingrained in Zim politics so much so that when Grace "Gucci-Grace" Mugabe had her faction in the rulling party, the ones who were loyal to Mnangagwa, then the vice president called themselves the LaCoste faction. They do not call that man the crocodile for nothing. There are some characteristics of a crocodile that the man shows. 

I am not a wildlife enthusiast but once in a while I do read and watch clips on animals on National Geographic, either on YouTube or TV. I know a thing or two about how a crocodile hunts. A crocodile does not depend on on speed for its hunting. Rather, it depends on the element of suprise. Stealth. A crocodile will hide under water near a river bank and pounce on an unsuspecting animal. If you follow the account of the transition that saw the ousting of Mugabe, you will note that people were working underground for months, waiting for the opportune time. 

While we are on the issue of working in stealth, there is another type of LaCoste that I would like to bring to your attention. Most of you may not be familiar with the sort of ladies you meet in drinking places, but some have exhibited stealthy characteristics when they want to swindle your money and whatever else. You might be busy doing your own things but the moment you want to buy another drink one pops out of nowhere to ask for her own. I do not know what other tricks these humans have up their sleeves but I am pretty sure that they have more.

There you go with the first lessons from a crocodile. In life, you do not always need to have a go at things the speedy and noisy way. You need to lay low like a croc and wait for the opportune time to strike. Then there is the issue of preparation. Some say that fortune favors the prepared. Better be prepared and not have the opportunity than have an opportunity and not be prepared for it. 

Perhaps we should talk about actual crocodiles. Have you ever wondered if animals brush their teeth? Maybe some don't but I am told that pandas chew bamboos in what you would think of as cleaning of the teeth. Well. There is one thing I am sure of, however. Crocodiles in the Nile (pretty sure somewhere else too) use birds to clean their teeth. I have even seen a clip on YouTube. A certain species of birds called Pluvanius aegyptus is known for an unusual symbiotic relationship with crocodiles. At some point when Johnny Croc wants stuck remains of his last meal removed from his teeth, he opens the mouth wide and remains still. The bird  in question then comes in and feasts on the remains of the food. Croc gets mouth cleaned. Pluv gets a meal. That is a win-win. 

For some time people have wondered why the crocodile does not take advantage and eat the birds which play right in its mouth. Ndiye pali phunziropo. I think we all can learn from Johnny Croc of the Nile. Not every bird that comes to our mouth to pick the remains of whatever we ate needs to be eaten. Tikumvana kwa azibambo uko?

There once was a time that I invited a girl for a chat at my house. After watching two movies and eating lunch I saw her off. Guess what? When she went home she called to thank me for not touching her? What are ypu guys doing to these girls when they come to visit you? Anyway. I digressed. There are so many times that we see people taking advantage of ladies just because of previous favors owed and services rendered. Does it mean things have to end in someone's skirt? We at Richie Online think the answer is negative. And this is not just about sex but I will stick to this. It is possible to render help to someone without making absurd demands. It is possible to get close to a person without really getting sexually intimate. We should learn to have a symbiotic relationship like that of the Egyptian plover and the Nile crocodile. 

While I am focusing on the lessons from the croc, take some tine to think of the plover's side. When the croc feels like the mouth is clean, it shakes itself to scare the birds away. Learn when to stop helping someone and helping yourself to something. 

There we are then. Crocodiles of all sorts have given us lessons on preparation and managing interpersonal relationships. 

Have a wonderful weekend. 

Friday, 16 October 2020

They Lied

 

It is one wonderful Friday and once again we get to gather under the shade of the Richie Online tree for a dose of some alternative wisdom in the form of fact-based opinions. Here we are.

When I wrote the article last week, I did not get much of feedback. I however found one of the two comments that I got very interesting. In an article where I was writing about the longevity of relationships, someone explained a different perspective that I have overlooked. Whereas I was talking about relationships lasting longer than they used to and most people in relationships taking it to the altar, this human explained how marriages are not lasting nowadays. That one got me. I do not want to spend much time commenting on this comment, but perhaps it is high time we balanced longevity of a relationship with the longevity of the institution of marriage.

On to the stuff of the day.

Yesterday happened to be Mother’s Day in Malawi. It is the day when we specially honor our mothers and celebrate them for the work they did in raising us. It is the sort of day on which I buy groceries for a certain amount and drop them by a Naphiri’s place only to get back home with things equaling or surpassing the value on the way back. That was the thing we all used to get criticized for back then. The Google age has brought in a different dimension. Mother’s day is more about people uploading pictures of their mothers on social media platforms, expressing how they miss their departed mothers and more interestingly others criticizing their friends for posting. I like the new line of criticism that came out this year. Not that I agree with the whole thing of criticizing one another for what people post (as I said, osamapangirana zochita), but I found it interesting to see someone bashing some people for posting their pastor’s wives with Mother’s day.  

 Joined the bandwagon of people who post pictures of their mothers on the day. There were a lot of reactions to the pictures and most of them were positive. Only a few people diverted from the focus of the pictures, my mum and went on to comment on my unkempt hair and beards. That was to be expected, anyway but that is not the point. The point is that there were people who took jabs at me for posting pictures of me and my mum while I did not do anything for her. Where they got the information on the latter, I am not sure.

This does not concern you that much, but I just want to give you a bit of the reasoning behind posting my mum on the day. I prefer to mark Mother’s day as the beginning of an appreciation week for my mum whose birthday falls within these days. We can all agree here that those of us who are privileged to have lived with our parents have something unique that we cherish them for. There is one thing about my mum and that is the fact that she knows how to start, hold and sustain a conversation. I can sit with that woman and chat for 3 hours straight and none of us would get bored. I hardly do that with any of my family members. I found myself thinking about that attribute when I began to compare my mum with other people with whom I ideally should be having good conversations. Anthu sititha kucheza out here.

Human interaction hinges on conversations and actions. Whether there is good interaction or bad blood between people mostly depends on conversations between two parties. Lately we have seen people compliment each other about kutha kucheza; entailing that the recipient of such good words mastered the art of human interaction. I regret to report to you that they lied. They are just excited about what you did at that particular moment. Simutha kucheza, ankolo. Well. Maybe you do. Here is my point.

The first important stage in interaction is picking who to interact with and for what. Not everyone you meet will be your friend in the long term. Some people, however, seem to not know or to deliberately ignore this fact. The result is that people tend to put too much effort into friendships that were not supposed to exist in the first place. Now those ones do not work as well as they are supposed to be and sometimes, they turn toxic.

The next important bit in the kucheza process is knowing what kind of topic to pick with who. Might not seem important but the subject of a chat needs to be thought through along the lines of context, person, relevance and other things along those lines. You cannot discuss everything with everyone. Just last night, I met a guy who just popped by where I was chatting with my friend at some bar and began telling us how he was robbed on the way from a drinking escapade a few days back. Did we care? No. We could not hide our boredom and we took out our phones breaking what was a phones off chat. And then people have this habit of bringing up sensitive issues with strangers; issues of sexuality and religion, for example. I like to believe that it is not just my opinion when I say that such issues need to be reserved for people with whom you have known well for some time. I have a couple of atheist friends, but I never have had the cajones to bring issues of religion when we have our casual chats. Guess why? They are not even relevant. I mean… Why not talk about football, movies or art? Some would wonder why I do not make the attempt to convert them. Story for another day.

Then there is the issue of knowing when to do what in a friendship. There are times that you need to amplify and times that you need to take a step back depending on the signs. Friendship are conceived for different reasons and end for different reasons too. It might be an issue of unfulfilled expectations. Sometimes people hear the wrong thing about you and begin to sideline you. These are things that happen but some of us do not handle them well and we tend to either miss or ignore the signs, ending up with forced friendships. This point cannot go without saying that friendship requires reciprocation as needed. When people do good things for you, you repay them with kindness. The opposite is not true, according to Christian teaching but the point is that noticing the kindness you used to get waning might be a sign that it is time to leave. Of course there is the issue of the balance between holding on to something that is not so useful and letting go of something that you could have benefitted from. Nkhani zovuta izi.

Like I said, not everyone knows how to handle these things in their entirety so if anyone told anyone that amatha kucheza, they lied.

A little confession.

When I posted that the title of today’s article would be what it is, I had not put together a single word on paper. I actually posted that to see if I could get any ideas and ideas I got. In the spirit of not disappointing those who contributed, let me share what people thought about people who lied.

We are a hundred and something days into the mandate of the Tonse gaffment (which rude people have decided to call goofment). A couple of weeks ago, el president presided over a media briefing in which he shared some of his achievements in his first 100 days in office. Some of you got mad and bashed the president for calling a glorifed presser to talk about achievements when he actually did not talk about achievements. Well. I will not comment on that despite some of you pushing me to write about it. I will however comment on the complacency and failure to implement the campaign promises on time on the new gaffment’s part. Remember 30 days amnesty? Have we heard of anyone returning money they stole from gaffment coffers? Expedited trials in corruption cases? A dedicated court for corruption cases? Hasn’t happened, right? Okay. I will not talk about 1 million jobs in the first year because we it is a bit too early; although I must admit that it doesn’t look too good. To some, the Tonse guys lied. Kuli nkhani ya ngongole iyi. Imeneyo ndisaipute kaye. I don't think it is time for me to start stepping on the toes of this government. Not yet, at least. 

Then there is the issue of the prophets of doom in the Covid-19. They somehow fed numbers to a computer and came up with a conclusion that millions of people were going to be infected and more than fifty thousand people will die. According to them, June and July were going to be the worst months to be a Malawian as we were going to be dying Italy style. Some people died, and the number may be higher than the one the official reports are showing but it surely is not 50k. There are probably more infections than we are made to believe, but they are not 15 million as others wanted to make us believe. Those guys lied to us.

I will also take liberty to remind you of your ex-spouses who told you that they could not live without you. You parted ways, but did they die? I put it to you, they lied too. And what about that guy who came to you and wanted a soft loan of ka fifty thousand. He said he will give you on Tuesday, right? Eeetu. Angongole. They lied too. Your prophet told you that you would get married by the end of 2019. Let’s not get into that, though.

A lot of people did say a lot of things to you. But they lied.

Friday, 9 October 2020

Of Relationships and Longevity

 

It is one wonderful Friday and once again we get to have an article. This is not any other article; it is the comeback of the founding father of this blog. Richie himself is writing this in ink using an ostrich’s feather. This will later be digitally transcribed and sent out for you to enjoy as you are now. Long process, isn’t it?

It is hard to come after the Venomous Hope, who I believe is the guest writer who has written the most articles on Richie Online. That guy got a lot of praise and offers of drinks, a thing I have not received in a long time. I am jealous of him, but on the other hand, I think he deserves it. As I pointed out for those who receive the articles via WhatsApp, that was probably the best article I have read around here in a very long time. Where very long time shall mean some months. Maybe 4. Uyu angatichedwetse. On to the topic of the day.

Now I understand that people have their expectations on what they think should appear on Richie Online based on the issues in the air. I am not very good at commenting on current affairs. When I do that, I mostly end up on the wrong side of issues and I step on toes. After all, one Nkhwachi Mhango once rightly gave a criterion for defining the purity of a Richie Online article in a way I had never thought about. According to him, pure Richie Online articles are not topical. They do not seek to comment on current affairs or anything of the sort. They are just fact-based opinions. A random piece about Ndirande, reminding you that your bae won’t marry you and things along those lines. That is what we are all about, here at Richie Online. That being said, I would have loved to comment on how your president shook hands and walked around without a face mask in Tanganyika and the first 100 days of the new gaffment. We can talk about that if you want me to, but just not here. What I can do is one thing, though; I will unconditionally condemn any form of sexual abuse as it is at best a very inhuman thing to do.

Last night I was involved in a sensitive conversation with a certain friend who I was catching up with after a very long time. You have guessed right; we were talking about relationships. In a rather accelerated way, this good friend of mine jumped from a greeting straight into telling me about her ex boyfriends. Well then. The chat got a bit uncomfortable as I was not sure what might have triggered such. Turns out people have things they need to let out but they do not have people to empty them to. Or so I thought. We had a good chat about relationships although I am pretty sure that the chat left the both of us a bit more depressed than we were before it.

My love for the social media cannot be overemphasized. I like me my WhatsApp and I like me my Facebook and other than posting stupid things, the other thing I like the most about Facebook is the memories. Facebook for some reason developed a feature that digs up posts from  years back to let us celebrate the anniversaries of our stupidity. I am a big fan of those memories and having gotten a notification that my memories for today were ready, I dashed over to check. I was greeted by posts about the birth of my friend’s first born son; Kim Kaitano. Happy birthday to that little man.

The most important memory I saw, however, was that of the first time I changed my relationship status on Facebook. That was a good six years ago on this very day. That post had more than 70 comments and mind you, this was before this whole thing of replying was a thing. Somehow people got excited about the whole thing and made it  some sort of a big conversation. I understand why. People had, for long, known me as the sort of guy who was a little too rigid to get a girl. Anadabwa ndithu.

In those days, relationship statuses used to be a big deal. People were using every option that was on that list; single, in a relationship, in a domestic partnership, in a complicated relationship, married and what not. Then there was the changing. Somehow people felt obliged to change relationship statuses once there was a change in their love lives. A good friend of mine whose name I won’t mention had his laptop close by on his wedding day just so that he could update his status to married as soon as the officiation was over. Others went on to create memes about relationship statuses saying that they ought to be changed for a specific number of times, after which they should set the default for a particular person to unstable. This was to take swipe at people who kept jumping between single and in a relationship or something of the sort.

Thoughts about relationship statuses and the conversation I had last night gave me some memories about how relationships used to end for almost no reason back then. Compared to the later day, relationships seem to survive a bit more than they are nowadays. I am not saying I want us to go back to the time when people used to break up at will, but I was wondering if the longevity of modern day relationships is a good thing or a bad thing. I might try to tackle that a bit later but I think for now the important thing to do would be to explore why this might be the case.

The reason that is coming to mind with prominence is that most of the people in my circle have aged and have aged well. People who age well plan and execute their relationships well and as such there is very little room for breakups. On the other side of the same coin, it might just be that people are just enduring relationships to avoid the shame of breakups. Think of this. You are over 30 and half your friends are married. Every time you post a wedding invitation card people ask you when your own wedding is. You wouldn’t want to let go of a partner unnecessarily in that situation. Akazi ndi amuna akuvuta kupeza.

Then there is the issue of the general lowering of expectations of what one can get from a relationship and from a partner. It is a fact that by the age of 25 most of us tend to have gone through at least one heart break. These heart breaks have created a generation of broken people. As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. People whose hearts were broken break hearts. When people go into relationships nowadays, it is most likely one broken person meeting another and with their heart breaks in mind, it is hard for them to fully give and fully expect true love. They just get by, really. One day at a time becomes the motto. HD photos here. Cake there. Dinner there. Pang’ono pang’ono until the wedding day comes.

Then there is the issue of social media relationships. That I will not dwell on.

Timalize iyi yaleroyi.

It is a good thing that relationships are surviving more than they used to back then. At least in my circle that is. They may be surviving for a good reason but with negative motivation attached, but they are surviving still. That is something to applaud, isn’t it?

That being said, it is important to understand that relationships are meant to be enjoyed and not endured as is marriage. There is a need for balance between enjoying life and fulfilling social norms of getting married. Forever is a long time so it is not good to stick to something  for the sake of others.

Eeetu. Pitani ku Friday basi. Taweruka.

Friday, 2 October 2020

Aborting the Bill and the Cartel

 

by the Venomous Hope

Returning to this esteemed pulpit always gives me pleasure, the doc who owns it has kindly allowed me [again] muckrake a few issues. It is perhaps high time I grant myself the greatest honour, the moniker of ‘permanent guest’, now that this is beyond my 10th article on this forum. Writing an expose for an audience that speaks very good overseas English can be painstakingly demanding, I will have to remind myself to make an effort to find out whatever the Rich eats every Friday, I am reliably told there’s always a secret recipe in chiwaya chapa Chitawira. I have to confess though that it is more stressful to come up with an introduction, never mind a good one. It is why these few sentences are as good as you can get.

The hot potato these past two weeks has been the so-called Abortion Bill, and when you sniff your radio for just some seconds you can’t avoid meeting some sort of experts on the subject, trying to outdo each other in one way or the other, for different causes and income. The bill has pitted, I must say, health specialists and Civil Society Organizations (SCOs) on the one hand, and religious gurus and some ‘concerned prospective fathers’ on the other. The proponents of the Bill want to legalize safe abortion because of unaccounted number of complications that come because many girls and women keep trying to cut corners to get rid of the unborn child. For them, they want health practitioners to take charge of the process, and in a way, to save the mothers. The facts are bare for our perusal: for starters, alarming figures that WHO reports hover around 56 million abortions performed per year on earth alone, the number can be twice higher on planet Titan now that the mad Thanos is dead. And in 2005 alone, some healthy ministry officials revealed that 67, 000 induced abortions were recorded in the country, this is very bad if that’s the trend. Flipping through some of the reasons why women resort to abortion, one may be tempted to conclude that beyond the curtain the problem has been social-cultural and ultimately more about our poverty levels, paja Chakwera has inherited APM’s role of leader of the least deveLoOped countries. Well some of the reasons include: desire for girls to stay in school (really?); extramarital pregnancy (majority of the cause); kuchembeza mwachangu wina asanasiye kuyamwa; pregnancy from incest, defilement and rape; and of course poverty.

Some of those reasons are well-intentioned and it may be tempting to join the bandwagon of safe abortion activism along the way. It must be said, however, reading the Bill itself, that not every pregnant soul will have a free pass for abortion. Termination of pregnancy will only “be necessary to prevent injury to the physical or mental health of a pregnant woman” and also in cases that there is malformation of the foetus, or if it endangers the life of the pregnant mother. The grey area that has produced a lot of misinterpretations is probably the so-called mental health, which is fast becoming a popular card that even our friend Chisale tried to use in order to end his ordeal at Maula Prison. The Bill, according to some experts, is just trying to correct some healthy risks and make it as safe as possible for our dear women and girls.

Well one may ask if most of the religious inspired opponents of the bill have read it with sober mind, mwina sanawerengenso nkomwe. The flawed statement that the country is a God-fearing nation has resurfaced, well with much voluminous venom. Of course it’s a fact that almost every soul in the country profess to a Higher Being of some sort, the following subtle numbers give a candid reflection: Malawi has an estimated 23% Catholics, 29% Protestants [Anglicans, CCAP & Lutherans], 10% are Muslims, others [rastas, Amboni, Pentecostals, and humanists] make up at least 25%. Unsurprisingly, all the who is who of religious bodies in the country have ganged up to put pressure on the MPs to reject the Bill at whatever cost, no discussion or compromises. We all know that these religions are not only Abrahamic and foreign, but are also idealistic in that the doctrine is as powerful as the law of the land. For the most Christians, including yours truly, the infinite strands of moral compass are absolute and non-negotiable in as far as a future life in paradise is concerned. Tragedy will be the time when religion will be proved to be one large conspiracy and a lie all along… Well gods exist so we have to bring the fight to them, so they say. A blunt example of an absolute truth held by Christians migrated from Bible at Exodus 20:3 which reads, “You shall not murder.” It is one of the popular verses making rounds in defense of those who oppose Abortion Bill, you cannot justify any killing whatsoever even if the foetus is only a minute old. And the following the catalogue of some references you will hear throughout the debate:

-Jeremiah 1:5- before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart, I appointed you as prophet to the nations.

-Qur’an 5:32: whosever has spared life of a soul it is as though he has spared the life of all people. Whosever has killed a soul, it is as though he has murdered all mankind.

-Qur’an 17:32: Kill not your offspring for fear of poverty, it is we who provide for them and for you. Surely, it is a great sin,

I declare that direct abortion, that is, abortion willed as an end or as a means, always constitutes a grave moral disorder, since it is the deliberate killing of an innocent human being. Pope John Paul II, Evaangelium Vitae, 1995.

I will not dwell much on the demerits of these, but for the sake of progress, the abortion bill is a positive aspect for the wellbeing of a Malawian woman for the sole reason that it is meant to provide for the safe termination of the pregnancy. As a country, we should mend the behaviour of the citizenry so that the pregnancy procured is cared for and mutually accepted “mentally” [whatever it may mean]. In principle, we should as a country be working more on the social-cultural problems that force women, and especially girls, to fall pregnant, all how we can rid the country of bandits who go about raping women in our villages. It is a fact that these religious groups have failed short on the moral duty on shaping the society to reach the godly standards they aspire for us; they have done little to impart moral thrust into their faithful. Most importantly, abortion bill answers the same critical dilemmas that religion fails to, you remember those exceptions that will allow women to abort? My thoughts on the Bill have summarized in this statement made by one Stanley Hauerwas:

It may be that issues such as abortion are finally not susceptible to intellectual solution. I do not mean to suggest that we cease trying to formulate the problem in the most responsible manner possible, but rather that, our best recourse may be to watch how good men and women handle the tragic alternative we often confront in abortion situations. For no amount of ethical reflection will ever change the basic fact that tragedy is a reality of our lives.  Point is reached where we must have the wisdom to cease ethical reflection and affirm that certain issues indicate a reality more profound than the ethical.

[Message from Richie: Take a water break here.]

Talking about more profound real ethical issue, our dear honourable souls at the National Assembly felt like their libido has been emotionally bruised beyond repair this week when revelations that up to 10, 000 condoms are consumed every month. Haha! 10, 000 condoms per month. Funny that they also do care more about their reputation when embarrassing issues like these come to light. And some MPs struggled to justify the high number of intake for the commodity saying it is not only them lining up to get the rubber but also other stakeholders, viz: journalists, constituency visitors, and staff members, and of course official capital concubines; it is them who frequent the handout desk and they have tarnished their image by collecting the condoms en masse. Some even went to town to demand an immediate apology, withdraw of the inaccurate statement, and the speedy sacking of the one who released those holy findings. I am struggling to see why they are fuming with anger when it is Parliament itself that procures condoms on our taxes for free distribution during any sittings; it just shows they are in on the act. Kapena amafuna akananenera mwanseri. 99% of the MPs have wives/husbands that normally follow them on the television back in their villages, but a large cartel of concubines also usually follows whenever they are back in the capital. Its hot business such that those hefty allowances need to be shared. As long as it helps them to actively participate in the debate we cannot blame them for wanting more of flesh of Bwandiro.

On a final note, it looks like the DPP has now come to their senses to take the responsibility of opposing the government. A cat and mouse fight, however, for the position of leader of opposition (LoOp) has degenerated into a civil war within the once mighty party such that a day doesn’t elapse before you hear dirty linen being smeared in media among the remaining party cadres. Many people have spoken of the need for self-cleansing in the party so that they may regain even a tiny fraction of the trust they had with the people of their stronghold, the Lomwe belt, and these tags of wars are not helping because it seems not everyone is willing to let the process of healing permeate within the rank and file. It has become a party that doesn’t understand its own constitution, yet they have a president who is a professor emeritus of law. After some sanity, the secretariat decided to grant the wish its remaining 50+ MPs to conduct an impromptu election on LoOp, and APM had a rude awakening as a result. APM’s adopted son Francis Kasaila, who still has a pending case on the legitimacy of his parliamentary win in 2019 at the High Court, was soundly defeated when MPs opted for Kondwani Nankhumwa to carry on as LoOp despite the hierarchy creating various news snippets meant to undermine his rise to power. Kasaila got a mere 4 votes against Nakhumwa’s 38. And another big wig, Bright Msaka, the party’s vice president in the East, was nominated and even had a secondment, but he only got a single vote {he voted himself}, perhaps the nominators changed their mind midway during the voting. When we thought that dust has settled, the party publicist Brown Mpinganjira spoke on radio saying that it is the party that elects the LoOp and not the Mps so what happened in parliament was an anomaly that will be corrected when the inner circle meet.

Nankhumwa may have won the battle yesterday; it will take sacrifices to be universally accepted as the de facto leader of DPP as long as APM is still pulling the strings at his retirement Lodge in Mangochi. At this rate, DPP will never wrestle back the power of running the affairs of this country, anaonongera pa mpando. And I personally am not convinced with the caliber of successors within the party, including Nankhumwa himself. So far, the front runners to succeed APM at the convention [Mpinganjira says in 5yrs time] include Nankhumwa, Uladi Musa, George Chaponda, Msaka, and Kasaila. Chakwera or Chilima will not even need to do campaign to soundly defeat the lot. When we say we need new blood we don’t mean Nankhumwa, he has never for starters accepted that the chaos created by his party when in power brought the country on its knees in the last couple of years. And to quote one letter from other party NGC inviting him to a party disciplinary hearing, “he must come forward to explain his education background.” Ha! Come on, this was a good opportunity for him to show he was the grain among the chaff in DPP.

Going forward however, the party needs serious rebranding. They should wean themselves from anything to do with the Mutharikas, the so-called NGC members should gang up and force APM to give up power so that he pours some energy in his remaining limbs to defending family friend Chisale on the large amounts of our taxes he accumulated on their behalf. I must say, they should also get rid of the old guard that have been surviving on the party for their daily bread and rentals. The cartel of advisors who have never won any public position other than serving the president with lies like Francis Mphepo; get rid over-recycled politicians like Chenji Golo, Ntaba, and Mpinganjira; remove from positions of influence politically compromised villains like Mchacha, Chaponda, and that bankrupt convict in the North, Reverend Nzomera Ngwira. Anyway, that job will never happen because APM still feels he is untouchable and has a say on the direction of the party.

Now that Nankhumwa has successfully negotiated his rise to LoOp [ultimately getting back to the salary scale of cabinet ministers], I expect him to unmask himself and become a character that can give hope so that the defeat in 2025 election will not be unequivocally embarrassing. Nankhumwa has always tried his best to avoid being embroidered in chaos, he uses his henchmen like Mchacha and one Victor Musowa to fight his battles. After a lot insulting at rally, he comes like an angel with a sober voice to bring message of unity. The only time he had come out of his shell he was soundly embarrassed by Chakwera at parliament for posing puerile questions. It’s a nice trick in politics, of playing the Virgin Mary character, but he will not connect well with the people because a lot of energy is wasted on trying to be as perfect as the heaven itself. Even if it is the real Nankhumwa, the shadow of his associates is a menace for the future of DPP, it is how the presidency is captured.

Thanks for reading folks, enjoy your weekend.