Lessons from the Croc

Alright. Friday. Day for an article, right? Great. Let's get on with it.

I must admit here that laziness took over this week and I did not want to write. The other reason I did not want to write was the fact that after the many things that have been reported in the news, people usually expect this blog to give them a comment on what is going on out there. Hey Richie, what do you think about the President's Q and A? I didn't watch that. What do you think about the incident in Chikwawa? Why do you care about what I think? What are your views on what the Pope said about homosexual civil unions? Not today please. Land issues? Don't get me started.

Like I have said before, the purity of a Richie Online article lies in how distant it is from current hibber jabber and how close it is to being a fact-based opinion. I am not good at commenting on current affairs, anyway. That is why in the midst of all these topical issues I decided to appeal to people who can write good posta, failure of which I would write about the Nile crocodile and other types of crocs. While someone offered to write, my thoughts are that it is unlikely that they will pull through. And that, dear reader, is why I am typing this instead of enjoying the music and concentrating on this cold drink on this beautiful Thursday night. Eetu. 

I will not base this post on the social media but rather on a book I read earlier this year. Some of my dear readers might have read the book titled Two Weeks in November. This is a book that narrates the account of the regime change that saw Robert Mugabe ousted from the Zimbabwe presidency, ushering in the current regime which has Emerson Dambuzo Mnangagwa at the helm. If you know a thing or two about African politics, you would know that the president of Zimbabwe who also happens to be a war veteran bears the nickname "the crocodile". The name is so ingrained in Zim politics so much so that when Grace "Gucci-Grace" Mugabe had her faction in the rulling party, the ones who were loyal to Mnangagwa, then the vice president called themselves the LaCoste faction. They do not call that man the crocodile for nothing. There are some characteristics of a crocodile that the man shows. 

I am not a wildlife enthusiast but once in a while I do read and watch clips on animals on National Geographic, either on YouTube or TV. I know a thing or two about how a crocodile hunts. A crocodile does not depend on on speed for its hunting. Rather, it depends on the element of suprise. Stealth. A crocodile will hide under water near a river bank and pounce on an unsuspecting animal. If you follow the account of the transition that saw the ousting of Mugabe, you will note that people were working underground for months, waiting for the opportune time. 

While we are on the issue of working in stealth, there is another type of LaCoste that I would like to bring to your attention. Most of you may not be familiar with the sort of ladies you meet in drinking places, but some have exhibited stealthy characteristics when they want to swindle your money and whatever else. You might be busy doing your own things but the moment you want to buy another drink one pops out of nowhere to ask for her own. I do not know what other tricks these humans have up their sleeves but I am pretty sure that they have more.

There you go with the first lessons from a crocodile. In life, you do not always need to have a go at things the speedy and noisy way. You need to lay low like a croc and wait for the opportune time to strike. Then there is the issue of preparation. Some say that fortune favors the prepared. Better be prepared and not have the opportunity than have an opportunity and not be prepared for it. 

Perhaps we should talk about actual crocodiles. Have you ever wondered if animals brush their teeth? Maybe some don't but I am told that pandas chew bamboos in what you would think of as cleaning of the teeth. Well. There is one thing I am sure of, however. Crocodiles in the Nile (pretty sure somewhere else too) use birds to clean their teeth. I have even seen a clip on YouTube. A certain species of birds called Pluvanius aegyptus is known for an unusual symbiotic relationship with crocodiles. At some point when Johnny Croc wants stuck remains of his last meal removed from his teeth, he opens the mouth wide and remains still. The bird  in question then comes in and feasts on the remains of the food. Croc gets mouth cleaned. Pluv gets a meal. That is a win-win. 

For some time people have wondered why the crocodile does not take advantage and eat the birds which play right in its mouth. Ndiye pali phunziropo. I think we all can learn from Johnny Croc of the Nile. Not every bird that comes to our mouth to pick the remains of whatever we ate needs to be eaten. Tikumvana kwa azibambo uko?

There once was a time that I invited a girl for a chat at my house. After watching two movies and eating lunch I saw her off. Guess what? When she went home she called to thank me for not touching her? What are ypu guys doing to these girls when they come to visit you? Anyway. I digressed. There are so many times that we see people taking advantage of ladies just because of previous favors owed and services rendered. Does it mean things have to end in someone's skirt? We at Richie Online think the answer is negative. And this is not just about sex but I will stick to this. It is possible to render help to someone without making absurd demands. It is possible to get close to a person without really getting sexually intimate. We should learn to have a symbiotic relationship like that of the Egyptian plover and the Nile crocodile. 

While I am focusing on the lessons from the croc, take some tine to think of the plover's side. When the croc feels like the mouth is clean, it shakes itself to scare the birds away. Learn when to stop helping someone and helping yourself to something. 

There we are then. Crocodiles of all sorts have given us lessons on preparation and managing interpersonal relationships. 

Have a wonderful weekend.