Of Opinions and Diversity

 

It is yet another Friday and as per tradition there is a piece. I was very reluctant to write today for several reasons and those reasons will be the starting point of today’s article. Let’s get on with it.

Having written over 200 articles for this blog, I was bound to step on some toes and step on toes I did. I have received responses to my articles from the gates of the States House and I have had people stop me on the streets just to ask me what kind of substances I ingest or inhale before writing my pieces. All along, I had thought that the most controversial pieces I had written were the political ones or the infamous “He Won’t Marry You”. Turns out the singleness article that I wrote last week is the one that has raised too many questions about me and had some people worried that a dark cloud might be hovering over me. Others thought I am a very bitter killjoy who is out to make others as sad as he personally is. My response? I am alright. I really am okay.

By the way… Which one of you shared the article with the lady I talked about last week?  If this makes you happy, she is now mad at me so if I do not get married later this year it is all on you.

I digressed. The idea is that the fact that readers have been questioning me all about my article all week left me little or no desire to write. I like the comments and discussions that come from these articles, but I do not like it when you get all worried about my sanity.

The second reason is that it has been a busy week. I am not talking about me being busy with work or whatever it is that keeps me busy. I am talking about the shenanigans that we have been talking about and dealing with as Malawians. The President’s UK visit, the songs that came out, people going to school in China and all sorts of things. Ideally people would want to pick my mind on such issues but if you know something about pure Richie Online articles, you would know that we do not comment on topical issues. Steering away from such issues, however is not as easy and that is why I have decided to come up with this piece anyway. Here we go.

Saturday the 24^th of July, 2021. It is morning and as usual, Malawi News, the weekly paper from the Times group is out. In it is the infamous Kanjipiti cartoon which is poking fun at the bitter sweet issue of Msundwe women. Earlier that week, the women who were raped by the men of the Malawi Police Service were compensated. Now people are asking as to whether the perpetrators have been brought to book. Others are suggesting that the compensation itself is a win for the women. In the midst of that divided opinion, the Kanjipiti cartoon comes out with controversy. The cartoon is highly suggestive that there are some women who may have wanted to be raped just to get the money. There is an outrage and Times Group issue an apology. On the side, however, other people see nothing wrong with the cartoon. In fact, they think that it is hilarious and that everyone who is angry with the cartoon is being too sensitive. I will park this.

Monday the 26^th. Malawi is anticipating the release of multiple songs from the finest artists in the land. Namadingo was releasing a song and so was Onesimus along with Maskal of the Udalire fame. The moment the release date was announced, Malawians got into comparison mode. This was because of the fan rivalry between Onesimus and Namadingo fans which has been powered by the social media. When the songs came out, there were a lot of opinions as to which song was better to an extent that people forgot that Maskal was also putting out a piece. Interestingly people ignored other releases from Third Eye and Kelvin Sings. Great songs. People were so obsessed with comparing who had done a better song between Namadingo and Onesimus to an extent that they ignored other songs and more importantly failed to appreciate the uniqueness of each of their artists and what they had to offer. Let’s park this again.

Tuesday July 27, 2021. State House posts a picture of President Lazarus Chakwera on the set of BBC’s HardTalk program. Later that night, clips of Chakwera having a challenge with tackling a question begin to circulate on social media. We go into a frenzy. The president’s fan boys go on to defend the president and tell us to watch the whole interview before judging his performance. A few watch the interview but the heavy barrage of criticism continues. After watching the whole interview, some have a change of heart and opine that the President did well. I disagree but later realize that HardTalk interviews do not pay for electricity bills. I let it go.

Remember Kanjipiti? I am talking about the cartoon character that poked fun on a rather sensitive issue of sexual misconduct by our men in uniform. This is a cartoon that many found offensive but someone went on to say that they did not see anything wrong with it. The Namadingo and Onesimus songs? I generally think that both are decent songs that are worth airplay on both local and international media houses. Some have deliberately chosen to enjoy one over the other because of their artist allegiances. The BBC HardTalk interview? Some said it was good while others thought the President’s performance on the show was poor, others thought that His Excellency handled it well. I hope you get where I am going with this. Even the most obvious of things tend to split opinion. Here is the other thing. Ready? You may express your opinion but to many your opinion does not matter. You can talk about the President all you want but chances are that very little will change because of your social media rant.

Then there is the other issue of quality of debate. When you ask people about what is wrong or right with a particular thing, they hardly tell you anything. When you point out that the president put up a poor show, they just went on to ask if we could have done better if we were in the President’s shoes. What I would have expected from intellectuals was that they would be arguing from a point of information and objectivity. Ayi ndithu. That tough question on creating jobs, for example. I thought our leader did poorly by not mentioning the many health workers he has employed in response to Covid-19 and the teachers that I am told have been hired in his reign. Talking of the music, people will use their love for Namadingo or Onesimus mixed with a bit of unfounded hatred for the other to bury a song they have not had a chance to listen to and when you ask them how good or bad a particular song they would just throw a “doc samatha” or “Onesimus ndi kape” without mentioning anything to do with the beat, lyrics or anything musical. They will just praise or attack personalities.

In these days of the social media, people also struggle to form an opinion of their own to an extent that before they voice out their not-so-important opinion on any matter, they first check what Onjezani Kenani or some other social media influencer thinks about that particular matter. It is not uncommon to find people going about contradicting their own prior opinions on social media when new information comes in. Nanga si tikumangotsatira zimene atanene Thandie Wa Pulimuheya kapena Pemphero Mphande?

There we are then. If you are to take away something from this article, then it is that we do not need your opinion in this world. People did not have it five years ago and they did not die. Also, is it really your opinion or did you read from an equally misguided Facebook mask that one of the songs I mentioned was off key? What I am saying is, if you are to give us your unsolicited opinions you got to make sure that they are really your own. Disliking something because someone dislikes it is not good. It is that same tendency that has you inheriting your friend’s enemies who could be your friends.

Signing off. We are all unique. We should not expect to have similar opinions. We are different so let us learn to live as such. Embrace diversity!

Dissecting Singleness

 

If your pastor can call for a singles seminar, I think your Friday blogger can too. That’s what I have done today. Violent opening, right? Apologies. Let us get on with it then.

Having drafted last week’s article on Thursday, the 15th of July, I got bored enough to start thinking about our generation. There was a lot going through my ever busy mind when I finally concluded that there is something wrong with all humans that were born after January 1, 1990. Well. Maybe not all. But most. Whatever that was all about, I ended up posting on WhatsApp that it was my strong opinion that people who were born after the said date were a damaged batch.

When I came up with that hasty conclusion, I was probably overdosed with Pemphero Mphande’s Hide my ID stories. A lot of those people who share stories admitting having cheated on their partners are around 27 years of age. Then there are those who are clinging to their toxic partners. The maximum age of those ones is around 31. Then you get to hear a lot of stupid love stories from those who were born after 1998 claiming to be neck deep in love with someone despite the disapproval of their parents. All in all, it is very rare to hear from our counterparts from the 80’s and before. Before you begin punching holes into my arguments here, I should admit that I know that my conclusion was a bit of a hasty generalization. We are very smart and decent in many areas of life and some of us are even managing to have good love lives. It is just that the toxicity of modern-day relationships and marriages from 90s kids and ama2000 can be overwhelming to the extent of making one go for an overkill of a conclusion like the one I made. Are we okay? Let me continue.

When I posted this radical post I got some reactions. Most came in the form of the “what is wrong with us” question from which the conversation was hard to sustain. I however managed to have a long chat with one young lady and it was that chat that got me thinking more about singleness and inspired the writing of this article.

When this lady in question wondered why I was generalizing like that, she wondered if I could point out what is wrong with our generation and with her in particular. I pointed out that it was not my burden to prove that there was something wrong with her but her to counter my assertion by telling me what was right about her. The good lady then went on to lay down her resume which highlighted how she had a good lifestyle and career and I must admit that it was impressive. Then she threw me a curveball; she went on to say that the only wrong thing about her was that she was single which got me wondering how much of a problem such a state is.

I unfortunately did not want to drag the conversation on singleness so I did not get to poke the mind of this good lady on what she thought the main problem with being a free agent is. I however have been single for 25 out of the 28 years of my life so I have a very good idea of what that looks and feels like. I speak for many when I say these things so all of you conservatives will have to bear with me for the abomination you are about to read while liberals will have to forgive me for the exposure. There is no one in between for this.

We will start with the social media. In the picture perfect world we live in, everyone is inclined to show the best parts of their lives off and relationships take centre stage in such displays. I will take you back to the pre-WhatsApp days when people used to spend hours chatting with some imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend in the name of online dating. As soon as cameras started improving, we started posting photos of our girls taken using the Nokia N95 smartphone as a show-off. Then there was the whole issue of posting “I miss you” on each other’s wall just for people to see. Kumaka akuti. When Zuckerberg introduced relationship statuses on the platform, we went on to tag the people we were in a relationship with in our so called statuses. Then came WhatsApp. And then Instagram. And WhatsApp GB. You also know what happened when those apps that put a cat’s ears on an otherwise normal human being came. Our girlfriends tricked into taking those infantile photos just for the fun of it. My point? Everyone wants in on the fun. Camel selfies at Sun and Sand Resort, selfies showing breakfast in bed and its half-naked partakers at Kachere Castle, matching Nikes with bae while at Cockpit. Even those modest pictures at church in choir uniforms. All of us did it. Now that is one problem with singleness. When others are doing it and you are not, the fear of missing out kicks in. I will call it social-media induced loneliness secondary to being single. Humans from the 70s cannot understand it, but it is a serious problem.

One of my closest friends to whom I open up a lot asked me as to how I cope with singleness and I told her that it is a difficult state for me. Call this a weakness, but I will confess here. I am a bit of a loose cannon and being single means being more loose. When there is no first lady to say “we are going to my friend’s wedding” on that Saturday chances are that I will end up in Liwonde eating mang’ina at Azibambo Stopover or at some club at some ungodly hours; just because “the boys” said we could or because I planted the idea. The trend is the same for things like spending and other areas of life. The interesting thing is that I know that there are a lot of us who are in the same boat. We may have a few parts of our life that we treasure a lot. That would be career and religion for me but to be honest it does not make a difference whether I buy groceries on the first day of the month or the 20th. Taking care of the kitchen is not a priority for me and more often than not I need a lady’s whip to arrange my utensils right on whatever you call that thing we put our plates and spoons on. There are ladies who do not know how many shoes and dresses are enough and sometimes all they need is a boyfriend to tell them that having the same design of shoe in black, brown and yellow is a bit of an overkill. There you go then. Singleness comes with a certain level of loss of control for people who cannot handle certain aspects of their life well. May not be a problem for all, but it is a serious issue for some of us. Enanunso kuti muyambe kupita kutchalitchi ndi chibwenzi chinapangitsa.

Can we talk about sex? We need to talk about sex. When I was in final year in college, one lecturer came to teach about antiretroviral drugs. She specifically was talking about a drug called efavirenz and the side effects it has. At the end of the lecture she said something that left the class murmuring. “This is a nasty drug and this is why I will end this class by telling you to use condoms”. Murmurs and laughs. “…because I know it would be unrealistic to tell a 22-year-old to abstain”. Silence. Point? Our generation is starting to have sex early but that is not where it ends. We are also the generation that is settling in marriage relatively late. The problem with this is that we have a long window between sexual debuts and marriage. You know the result so I will not tell you what’s up. Ideally I would have been saying that the problem is that single people are starving (go and find the meaning of Saleta Phiri’s Ili mu Ufa song if you do not get this) but I am afraid the situation is a bit more serious than that. Not a bit more serious. Very serious. Most young people take these periods of singleness as moments of sexual exploration, their defence being that they are not tied to one person at the time. Are you shocked? Welcome to Planet Earth and the year is 2021. That is the third problem with singleness then; others are starving while some are overeating. And who do you think they are having sex with? It is your brother, daughter, boyfriend, wife or anyone you can think of in professional or social circles. Am I overstepping? Maybe. But that is the filthy reality out here. Someone had to say it.

This list will not be exhaustive if it does not include societal pressures that come with singleness. I will use myself as an example again because some of you have been accusing me of writing about you in my blogs. I am 28 and I am the third and last born (probably why I exhibit traits of childishness) in my family. My sister recently had an engagement ceremony after which everyone started looking at me with the “you are next” eyes. The few who could not hold it said it in my face. Now… I am just 28 and I have no idea of what people do with their wives. Think about it… I may marry someone someday if luck permits and vow to be with them forever. Now forever is a long time and I don’t see why anyone should be pushing me into forever at a tender age of 28 or 34. You, however know girls that are being pressured into marriage at the age of 20. Such is our society. I will not say more.

Wrapping up.

I was chatting with a friend who I suspected has recently broken up with her soulmate (you shall know them by their memes) and asking which is better between being single and being taken. Obviously, our opinions differed because while she painted singleness with all the bright colours, I was of the idea that being single is not the best of ideas. Having thought about it more I have come to understand that singleness is a very good state if well managed.

When your pastor calls for a singles seminar, you should attend. If someone gives you a book on single life, take your time to read it. With those, you may come to understand that the challenges which I earlier presented as problems can be managed. It is not so easy considering the external social and biological factors, but they can be managed. Your pastor will tell you not to fornicate and you will curse within you, but he has a good point because what is happening with single people nowadays is beyond comprehension.

I should mention here that I am using the word single loosely and in Zuckerberg’s term. My conservative friend will come in and mention to you (by you I mean ladies) and tell you that you are single until your father walks you down the aisle where you will say I do in front of a man of the collar and the church. And God. Are they wrong? Perhaps they are not. They may even be more right than I am because all they are implying is that we need to be focused and to have pure intentions for our relationships. In the times you are single and ready to mingle, work on yourself so that you can be the right partner when your type shows up. A lot of us out here are just focusing on looking for the right one without paying attention to whether we are the right ones.

CHAPTER 2: HOW TO HANDLE THE TALKING PHASE.

Oh! I should end it here before I turn this into a book.

Have a lovely weekend.

Of Jealousy and Hatred

 

It is another wonderful Friday and unfortunately for me I have to write after one Venomous Hope whose beautiful piece you got to enjoy last week. I could not have said what he said better and having heard his representative views it is time to get a chill pill. In this you have an emerging type of a Richie Online article; a comment on comments.

The past few days have been news-packed and we had things to quench our insatiable appetite for gossip and trivial issues. It was a lovely week, wasn’t it? Let’s dissect it.

We start in South Africa. You do not need to be an ardent follower of current affairs for you to know that there are violent protests punctuated by looting and destruction of property in the rainbow nation. The demonstrations started when a group of Jacob Zuma supporters ganged up to voice their views against the incarceration of the former president. In no time things escalated and the country was in smoke. In times like these, I refrain from watching the news in a bid to wean myself of the negativity but meme lords and ladies took it upon themselves to show us the clips in their status posts. That is how I knew that the military had been deployed and that there was a bit of control to an extent. It is inevitable that the unrest will affect Malawians living in South Africa. Perhaps it might be time to say a few words of prayer for the country and our brothers who are living the rainbow nation if you believe in a higher power.

Perhaps we should rewind the wheels of time and go back to the year 2020 when one son of Malawi miraculously left South Africa for home to escape persecution and prosecution. When asked how he eluded authorities, he claimed that he was not even sure as to how he managed to cross the borders and find himself. Rumour has it that in the months that he has been here, he has been to South Africa, the very nation that froze his assets and is pushing for his extradition. I digressed.

A couple of weeks ago, the charismatic prophet joined the likes of Dr. George Chaponda, Dr. Patricia Kaliati to launch a book. A lot of people have been launching books lately and it was no surprise that we saw the man of the collar follow suit. I did not follow the event, as I normally would but one thing I know is that Dan Lu and Tay Grin were invited. I saw the pictures and one (if not both) of them was in one of those funny “sindidzakula” hairstyles. A couple of days ago, a publicist announced that the book by the good man had sold over 4 million copies, making the man some few billions in a space of two weeks. Did you hear about this? You did not. Perhaps you are just like the South African looters who looted the whole mall but left a bookshop untouched. Zocheza and that is a story for another time. The number of books that were sold generated mixed reactions.

On one end were the positive humans who went on to congratulate their compatriot for pulling such an amazing feat. They went on to give us the “never give up in hardships” motivational message and praised the prophet for showing resilience. Then there was my gin-drinking friend whose name I will not mention. Skeptical about the numbers, he wondered whether we should trust the man that faked the miracle of walking on air (mind you, I am directly quoting my friend here; ine komwe amayenda m’malereko kunalibeko) and other miracles when he tells us he has sold so many books. That got me thinking. If he pulled the miracle of evading authorities and managed to move out of South Africa to Malawi, why should we not trust him when he says he has sold 4 million books? On the more logical side, others wondered how a man who has no prior hit publication would sell so many books in such a short time and the response they would get is that he is popular and he has a huge following thus potential customer base. I will let the two sides argue it out but he one question that is bothering me is this. Why would anyone lie about the number of books sold? To impress? Perhaps the reason some of us are questioning the 4 million copies number is that we are envious of the man.

Talking of the issue of jealousy, we had a scene in the country earlier this week when we lost a man who is arguably one of the best musicians of all time in Malawi to our neighboring Zambia. Some of you are not savvy with the social media side of Malawi so let me tell you what happened. On Monday, Patience Namadingo of the Mtendere fame (or Dr Namadingo as fans call him nowadays) posted that he was leaving Malawi for good because he was hated for being number one in this country. The text was posted as a caption to a picture of him on a plane. A bit of context. For some time, the artist has been maintaining two homes; one in Blantyre Malawi and another in Lusaka Zambia. He has since then referring to himself as a Malambian; a person who is both Malawian and Zambian.

The issue of being hated. I am not too sure as to whether that came from the toxic comments on his Facebook page. Most have said that the feeling of hatred came in after the good artist lost a poll on the Mikozi Facebook page. The poll? Who is better between Onesimus (Armstrong) and Doc (Namadingo)? Of course the former won with a landslide victory and some of the comments threw shade at Namadingo who I should admit not to have been kind to in my previous posts (he probably deserved it, though).

Now, my fellow doc’s post about leaving attracted a lot of negative reactions. Some people wondered why he was claiming the number one spot and asked him to provide proof of it. I stand with my fellow doc so I will put out achievements for your attention. That guy is the only Malawian artist who has multiple videos with over a million views on YouTube. He is the guy who filled up both BICC and COMESA Hall in his All New Namadingo Tour. His charity works have been like no other artist and it is safe to say that he has held the number one point at some point. And not once. On the other hand, there are others that wanted him to provide proof that he was hated in his home country. Now these ones I agree with.

There is a certain sort of toxicity that comes with fame and it is more prevalent on social media where a lot of keyboard warriors do not care about what others feel. As a big artist, one needs to learn how to handle such so that it does not get to them and affect their craft. Easier said than done, you would say, but I submit to you that it is doable and artists need to put in some effort in blocking out certain aspects of the social media. The beauty of it all is that the whole situation gave us plenty of fun screenshots of people’s comments on doc’s departure. You probably saw a load of those. Richie Online will give you a quote from the same internet on this issue. “Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” I don’t know who said that, but he had a point.

Looking at our good prophet who returned from the rainbow nation where he enjoyed a higher level of influence and wealth, I am left with the same questions I have when I look at the artist we lost. Is home really the best? Are our public figures really hated as they claim? What is hate? Is it wrong for people to use different social platforms to question the public figures and celebrities who we hold so dear? Or does that count to hatred? Kapena mwina timaonjezatu? Maybe it is high time that  we stopped hating. It is also high time we stopped taking criticism as hatred.

As one good friend of mine posted, public figures need to learn how to handle fame. Perhaps he was sending the message to all of us because he also pointed out that in Malawi it is possible to wake up a nobody and go to bed a celebrity (Wazakena?). We need to learn how to handle the toxicity that comes with fame and success. On the other hand, we all need to learn to appreciate people and not throw all their achievements into the bin when they do one wrong thing. 

I would have gone on to talk about our shocked president but I think he deserves a break from Richie Online after the Venomous Hope punched holes in his leadership style last week. Social media has already sorted Medson Kapeni aka Med C so I will leave him alone.

Have a blessed weekend.

This article is dedicated to the married Mr. Gracious Mulinga also known as the Daydreamer. He has been a keen follower of the Richie Online blog and has given us three articles as a Guest Writer. Happy birthday!

 

Malawi, Like a sheep for Slaughter…

 

By the Venomous Hope

Our esteemed landlord has taken a break this week and has kindly rented this blog to yours truly. I must say that the good doc is difficult to track down whenever he abandons his Friday ritual, but you can bet half your salary that he will appear on the VIP list to any event organized over the weekend by the Facebook local matchmaker, Pemphero Mphande. I have previously confessed on this pulpit that I am very bad at writing introductions; you can never get satisfied with one even if it is handed on a platter by Chisumphi. The lesson you get, being a competent rabbi, is that when you are doing it for free, do not waste time creating an amazing abstract, people will forget it anyway.

On the flipside though, Malawians do not forget easily, especially if the word is coming from the mouth of a politician, the natural habitat of a profession where outstanding liars thrive. Well, it is not like I am riding the bandwagon of paground sipali bwino moniker that has gripped everyone struggling, the country’s soils have never been better at any point, even despite the blessed Pope John Paul II kissed the chileka turf upon arrival in 1989. Levels of mediocrity over the years have painted some days to smell like the ground is bursting with grand opportunities. With over a year now in power, the usual songs synonymous with the failures of DziPPani are being used to justify a litany of failures of the current executive in executing the government. Very good speeches though. I must admit envy the speech writers at Kamuzu Palace, I would have produced thirteen political thriller novels by now if I had half their writing talent. Perhaps its high time we reluctantly agreed with the fallen big Kahuna, the second Ngwazi, that “satana anatikhalira pansana”.

Well, every monger that is spelling doom and groom on the MCP-led government should not immediately transform into a wizened seer. To quote the Kasiya kwantele clan leader, “we did not all see it coming”. Amisala koma anaona nkhondo. The only guys who saw it coming were the DPP-funded civil society organization, Centre for Democracy and Economic Development Initiatives (CDEDI, typical Malawian NGOs). I bet they cannot tell you any economic initiative they have led to date apart from that which ends directly in their pockets. It noisemaking group being led by one-time State House press officer and cadet, Sylvester Namiwa. This group kept their faith in the new government to a bare minimum, like we should have all done, and organized weekly demonstrations, “as if they did not have something else to do mmakomomu.” Now that the HRDC, having lost is biting powers previously when Timothy Mtambo joined politics, is on the deathbed, and that all its top lieutenants are booking one-way ticket flights to steal our taxes under the guise of diplomats, CDEDI is the worst available option we have to cry on our behalf. By the way nkhani yaokuba misonkho yamowa kujoni ili pati?

Anywhere if a government cannot keep small promises, people’s impatience and goodwill begin to dissipate, and the anger scale begin to rise to uncontrollable notes. And we have 4 more years to endure them. Perhaps they did not have a plan on what they will be doing when they win. Good luck finding the much touted “consolidated Tonse manifesto,” if it even exists anyway. To start with, there were just too many political parties, Nine of them…Too many power hungry businessmen masquerading as politicians and you can’t resist the urge to declare the president has been captured. Even Jijo Mnesa of Mafunde amamuwerengera, pa mdubs. From the start, the appeasement policy of distributing cabinet posts to family, friends and sponsors backfired big time and they had opportunity to rectify it. What came next was the noise that they will give each minister 6 months to prove that they have the mettle to hold such positions, and they even had the audacity to tell us to save the dates. We all know how new spin masters, Brian Banda and the beloved in-law, Sean Kampondeni, drowned the noise when the due dates went beyond the agreed times. Choosing one family member into the ruling fold is careless, but toping it with the whole clan is alarmingly foolish.

I do not take well the gospel of mindset change that whenever our leaders, after basking in the glory of our taxes, preach to mask their failings. Chilima and Chakwera use this mantra at every event. People change their mindset when they see positive changes happening and not just the usual tantrums. You cannot go around blaming Malawians that the problems they are facing are as the result of clinging to old philosophies of sizitheka yet the whole machinery you are leading has not created any single job, let alone 1 million. The mindset of the crowd changes with each government, it is why they did not hesitate to boot out the corrupt regime of DPP for they trusted the policies of zitheka you sold them during campaign. Changing like a chameleon in decision-making is a recipe for failure.

But they have only been in power for barely a year and kunjaku nkwaKovidi, amalawi mwatani kodi… Really? They were campaigning when COVID-19 was strangling countries left and right, and not even a drop of AstraZeneca had been created by then. Had they not mentioned anything regarding reducing passport fees, creating nonrenewable driving licenses, facilitating free water and ESCOM connection, and crucially, K15,000 monthly allowances to the elderly aged from 60 years old and beyond, people will have had the patience to stay quiet. And maybe they would have voted for Mbakuwaku. But they lied well and we all got hooked with their musings. Of course, they sold us the idea of a universal subsidy of fertilizer, we ended up with an improved version of coupon system started by DPP. The skyrocketing prices of goods and commodities entails that the economy is in a mess and people are still on the same wages which can barely sustain them. And you will find some handclappers appointed to parastatal boards flying to Dubai for the so-called “capacity building” as if they are engineers. Well, they have not been sacked until today, podium tantrums.

When all is said, the country is being run with trial-and error method. If they had a masterplan like they led us to believe, we would have seen tangible changes both in personnel and actions across all government functions. How long can reforms take? They have not fired cadets who messed up the previous regime, and they are expecting the same folks to help them build a new Malawi. The increasing murmuring will only get louder. What people want is some honesty, like why the president’s daughter is being hired to the embassy, and why 12 officials including the minister are queuing to go to the Olympique when there are only five athletes going there on solidarity and not because of meeting qualification standards. The hard questions have eluded this government, its why they have resorted to extortionist economic policies, like paying duty in advance and putting tax on basically anything that can be sold. And we have not even started on some draconian legal amendments being perpetrated like cutting salaries on anyone exercising their right to protests against their employers. They used Malawians to fight for their political rights and now they are rewarding them with bad laws. Like a sheep for slaughter, we will continue to suffer in silence.

In conclusion, we must admit Chakwera has tapped some lessons from the dirty pollical game, using the dark arts like Italians to defend his position. It is why the likes of Sembereka and Mtambo, Mayaya and Luke Tembo of HRDC were bought so that the only noise that reaches state house is something palatable to the ears of the HE. Media gurus like Brian Banda, Kasakula and Kazako have been fast-tracked to poshy posts because of their enviable roles of criticizing DPP when the ground was too hot for MCP. And we still have Gaffar, Kachale Banda, and Newton Kambala in the cabinet. They are putting people in strategic locations in anticipation of the 2025 elections, lest Chilima decides to quit the alliance and stand on his ticket, he will of course, thank me later. Like previous presidents, Chakwera is being shepherded with political pillows that are very loyal or have an iota of blood from Lilongwe. Well not all. Blaming COVID, or mindset, or even the DPP is nonstarter if we are to take them seriously, they should have a plan for our problems. trust me, We are back to the days of cronyism, political arrogance, and nepotism. Perhaps I am wrong, we will wait.

Enjoy the weekend folks.

The Religious Environment of Culture

 by Kalulu I.G.

                                  

Give me deeds of consolation. I feel mournfully nostalgic. Today, great agogo’s little grass-thatched hat is no longer there, her round kitchen with three stones at its centre is no longer, the maize granary is out of fashion. The well that sustained a bit of sugarcane and vegetables at the edges of M’madala farm dried up. Children are dancing and playing in the light of the moon less and less. During the day, the children would rather travel long distances to watch moving pictures at the trading centre. Anganga the ancestor’s tale was buried with her.

Not many little ones are able to swing on a mango tree anymore, with a little knife in the pocket. The lines are clearly drawn, the mango is for sell. The tree is not our friend, only the fruit when packaged and labelled at the supermarket and the timber when the carpenter gets his money. Even the wild fruits we used to play with and lick are not common things anymore. Many trees have now lost their lives to burn bricks to support modernity, to help the charcoal burner, and to build fences. It is embarrassing that the fences are also passing through our hearts. The green tsanya, the naphini, nsasi, mayiwalitsa, mpando, m’dima, mtanthanyerere, mvunguti, mtondoko, mwavi and the kankhande are no longer ordinary; scarce as they have become, they are a source of commerce. Very soon, our museums will start showcasing “ancient” fruits in the name of m’bungulira, masuku, chitimbe, ntonyongoli, sakalawe, bwemba, malambe and mapoza. We shall pay to view the wonder.

As is often the case, the poor rely more directly on the environment than the rich for their survival, they are mostly on the more immediate receiving-end of the environmental reactions of nature as it struggles to heal the wounds inflicted by human animals. Indeed, now the local herbalist travels to the far mountains and hills to just get a root, a tuber, a leaf and a bark; the same ones he used to send his kids to fetch from the surrounding graveyards and forests. At the reserve wildlife survives by the security-guard’s gun. The locally existing creepers and shrubs like mpwesa, tsache, tsitsi-lamanda, nam’goneka and kamwaza have suffered bush fires; the same bush fire by which the mice have suffocated, and from which the chingolopiyo, the pumbwa, the phwiti, the njiwa, the kantikutiku, the timba, the mpheta, the namchoso, the palanganga and the pingo have fled. The owl rarely frightens little ones to bed, it’s not there in the night.

Luckily, there are still hyenas and lions in the desert. Their two feet looking elegant in polished shoes, walking head-held-high with two deaf-ears, two blind-eyes and one loud-mouth. Ouch! Help please! I have hurt myself! Some two-legged lion is dead. Too bad, too bad. Very soon we shall eat and drink money.

We warmed ourselves to the sacred tales of our ancestors before the fire in great agogo’s round kitchen. Nature was for us a sacrament through which we received the grace of telling the graciousness encountered in the adventure of living. The tree did more than supply instrumental firewood, but healing chemicals, fruits for food and more. It had an endowed value from the God of the trees whom we all worshipped. Its shade was our first classroom and church. We needed no guns to protect nature but a conscience derived from sitting under the tree in silence. The tree thrived on the spot where our ancestors lay resting, its roots were in us and we in its stems and leaves. Likewise, the streams of water from which we drank.

 Our science was a religious one and our religion no less scientific for its time. The normative dimension and the inherent mediation in both science and religion truly pointed to their common source and juxtaposed evolution. To bow before the ancestors in nature and ask them what they desired of us was no superstition, but religion. They knew where the rain hailed from. To sieve the ash from agogo’s sacred fire and transform it into baking soda was not desecration, but science. We never knew a God of religion without a scientific material universe, neither did we know a scientific material universe without the God of religion.

What went wrong then? Two things. First, the science of two-legged deaf-hyena killed God; she sieved the ash to make baking-soda without recognizing the sacred fire from which it came. The hyena with deaf-ears thought she could use the ash without hearing the tales told around the fire in the round kitchen. Yet those were religious tales of what the tree had said about itself before its sacrificial burning between the three stones in the round kitchen. Second, the religion of loud-mouthed blind lions killed the sacraments of truth. When great agogo died, we continued to share the tales without coming back to feel the warmth of the fire, without connecting them to the sacrifice of the wood. The fire became a source of ash, but the process neither brought us together nor warmed us to the sacred tales. The tales lost the lived connection to the intrinsic value of the natural world. We needed dogmas to hold on to what the tales contained, but dogmas by themselves were not enough for an interior motivation to live by the tales or connect with their ancestral characters dwelling in the trees. Shortly, we killed the trees.

In memory of Abiti Likwanya the ancestor.

The author, Innocent Gregory Kalulu is a medical doctor and a member of the Society of Jesus also known as the Jesuit Congregation.