Malawi, Like a sheep for Slaughter…

 

By the Venomous Hope

Our esteemed landlord has taken a break this week and has kindly rented this blog to yours truly. I must say that the good doc is difficult to track down whenever he abandons his Friday ritual, but you can bet half your salary that he will appear on the VIP list to any event organized over the weekend by the Facebook local matchmaker, Pemphero Mphande. I have previously confessed on this pulpit that I am very bad at writing introductions; you can never get satisfied with one even if it is handed on a platter by Chisumphi. The lesson you get, being a competent rabbi, is that when you are doing it for free, do not waste time creating an amazing abstract, people will forget it anyway.

On the flipside though, Malawians do not forget easily, especially if the word is coming from the mouth of a politician, the natural habitat of a profession where outstanding liars thrive. Well, it is not like I am riding the bandwagon of paground sipali bwino moniker that has gripped everyone struggling, the country’s soils have never been better at any point, even despite the blessed Pope John Paul II kissed the chileka turf upon arrival in 1989. Levels of mediocrity over the years have painted some days to smell like the ground is bursting with grand opportunities. With over a year now in power, the usual songs synonymous with the failures of DziPPani are being used to justify a litany of failures of the current executive in executing the government. Very good speeches though. I must admit envy the speech writers at Kamuzu Palace, I would have produced thirteen political thriller novels by now if I had half their writing talent. Perhaps its high time we reluctantly agreed with the fallen big Kahuna, the second Ngwazi, that “satana anatikhalira pansana”.

Well, every monger that is spelling doom and groom on the MCP-led government should not immediately transform into a wizened seer. To quote the Kasiya kwantele clan leader, “we did not all see it coming”. Amisala koma anaona nkhondo. The only guys who saw it coming were the DPP-funded civil society organization, Centre for Democracy and Economic Development Initiatives (CDEDI, typical Malawian NGOs). I bet they cannot tell you any economic initiative they have led to date apart from that which ends directly in their pockets. It noisemaking group being led by one-time State House press officer and cadet, Sylvester Namiwa. This group kept their faith in the new government to a bare minimum, like we should have all done, and organized weekly demonstrations, “as if they did not have something else to do mmakomomu.” Now that the HRDC, having lost is biting powers previously when Timothy Mtambo joined politics, is on the deathbed, and that all its top lieutenants are booking one-way ticket flights to steal our taxes under the guise of diplomats, CDEDI is the worst available option we have to cry on our behalf. By the way nkhani yaokuba misonkho yamowa kujoni ili pati?

Anywhere if a government cannot keep small promises, people’s impatience and goodwill begin to dissipate, and the anger scale begin to rise to uncontrollable notes. And we have 4 more years to endure them. Perhaps they did not have a plan on what they will be doing when they win. Good luck finding the much touted “consolidated Tonse manifesto,” if it even exists anyway. To start with, there were just too many political parties, Nine of them…Too many power hungry businessmen masquerading as politicians and you can’t resist the urge to declare the president has been captured. Even Jijo Mnesa of Mafunde amamuwerengera, pa mdubs. From the start, the appeasement policy of distributing cabinet posts to family, friends and sponsors backfired big time and they had opportunity to rectify it. What came next was the noise that they will give each minister 6 months to prove that they have the mettle to hold such positions, and they even had the audacity to tell us to save the dates. We all know how new spin masters, Brian Banda and the beloved in-law, Sean Kampondeni, drowned the noise when the due dates went beyond the agreed times. Choosing one family member into the ruling fold is careless, but toping it with the whole clan is alarmingly foolish.

I do not take well the gospel of mindset change that whenever our leaders, after basking in the glory of our taxes, preach to mask their failings. Chilima and Chakwera use this mantra at every event. People change their mindset when they see positive changes happening and not just the usual tantrums. You cannot go around blaming Malawians that the problems they are facing are as the result of clinging to old philosophies of sizitheka yet the whole machinery you are leading has not created any single job, let alone 1 million. The mindset of the crowd changes with each government, it is why they did not hesitate to boot out the corrupt regime of DPP for they trusted the policies of zitheka you sold them during campaign. Changing like a chameleon in decision-making is a recipe for failure.

But they have only been in power for barely a year and kunjaku nkwaKovidi, amalawi mwatani kodi… Really? They were campaigning when COVID-19 was strangling countries left and right, and not even a drop of AstraZeneca had been created by then. Had they not mentioned anything regarding reducing passport fees, creating nonrenewable driving licenses, facilitating free water and ESCOM connection, and crucially, K15,000 monthly allowances to the elderly aged from 60 years old and beyond, people will have had the patience to stay quiet. And maybe they would have voted for Mbakuwaku. But they lied well and we all got hooked with their musings. Of course, they sold us the idea of a universal subsidy of fertilizer, we ended up with an improved version of coupon system started by DPP. The skyrocketing prices of goods and commodities entails that the economy is in a mess and people are still on the same wages which can barely sustain them. And you will find some handclappers appointed to parastatal boards flying to Dubai for the so-called “capacity building” as if they are engineers. Well, they have not been sacked until today, podium tantrums.

When all is said, the country is being run with trial-and error method. If they had a masterplan like they led us to believe, we would have seen tangible changes both in personnel and actions across all government functions. How long can reforms take? They have not fired cadets who messed up the previous regime, and they are expecting the same folks to help them build a new Malawi. The increasing murmuring will only get louder. What people want is some honesty, like why the president’s daughter is being hired to the embassy, and why 12 officials including the minister are queuing to go to the Olympique when there are only five athletes going there on solidarity and not because of meeting qualification standards. The hard questions have eluded this government, its why they have resorted to extortionist economic policies, like paying duty in advance and putting tax on basically anything that can be sold. And we have not even started on some draconian legal amendments being perpetrated like cutting salaries on anyone exercising their right to protests against their employers. They used Malawians to fight for their political rights and now they are rewarding them with bad laws. Like a sheep for slaughter, we will continue to suffer in silence.

In conclusion, we must admit Chakwera has tapped some lessons from the dirty pollical game, using the dark arts like Italians to defend his position. It is why the likes of Sembereka and Mtambo, Mayaya and Luke Tembo of HRDC were bought so that the only noise that reaches state house is something palatable to the ears of the HE. Media gurus like Brian Banda, Kasakula and Kazako have been fast-tracked to poshy posts because of their enviable roles of criticizing DPP when the ground was too hot for MCP. And we still have Gaffar, Kachale Banda, and Newton Kambala in the cabinet. They are putting people in strategic locations in anticipation of the 2025 elections, lest Chilima decides to quit the alliance and stand on his ticket, he will of course, thank me later. Like previous presidents, Chakwera is being shepherded with political pillows that are very loyal or have an iota of blood from Lilongwe. Well not all. Blaming COVID, or mindset, or even the DPP is nonstarter if we are to take them seriously, they should have a plan for our problems. trust me, We are back to the days of cronyism, political arrogance, and nepotism. Perhaps I am wrong, we will wait.

Enjoy the weekend folks.