Another awesome Friday.
There hasn't been much going on around me and as such I actually had no one to pour a rant on. That makes writing a bit hard because like every other Malawian fault finding is all I am good at. Luckily enough, I still thought of something important to share.
We recently had issues with the rumours surrounding our leader's health to an extent that some sections of the social media killed him. One guy was so sure about the death that he actually offered another a K10 000 sum to be produced if the president showed up alive. He actually showed up in not so robust health anyway, but I don't think any 10 grand exchanged hands following his return.
A lot of people have done a lot of finger pointing over this issue of the rumours. Some have blamed this Malawian spirit (or is it African) of killing our leader's before they are actually dead. The side I stand with, however is the one that blamed the secrecy surrounding the presidency. I personally believe that a president is "public property" (forgive the choice of words) and us such the citizenry is entitled to the knowledge of his whereabouts and probably about his health. While me might not need to know if he has a brain tumor or a urinary tract infection or nyamakazi, we are entitled to know if he is not feeling well at the very least. The whole secrecy is what leads people into rumour-mongering.
I believe in proper communication in every setting and lackof communication has a lot of negative effects. This whole "killing the president" issue is just one fish in the sea of examples that many of us have seen and it should probably teach us to say things the way they are when we need to. There are a couple of elements of communication that need to be examined from this story.
The first thing is that of the negative side of secrecy. I have every reason to believe that if we had been told where our dear leader was we wouldn't have had any reason to speculate and post on the social media about his death. We would have had no basis, but the deafening silence gave people some informal justification, however unwarranted to say whatever they wanted. It was probably just a way of squeezing the truth out of those responsible, anyway.
The same clouds of secrecy surround many people and they do not open up to others to share whatever is going on in their lives. Good things are hardly ever concealed and even if they are, no one suffers much for not sharing (except for those that get bewitched, if you believe in such things). The hard stuff that is not shared, however, eats people from the inside if not let out and that is probably why people invented the expression "suffering in silence". It is probably the grandiose attitude that people have or the fear of burdening others that sees people on the wrong side of this whole thing when they shouldn't.
The second element? Unnecessary mouthing. There are many of us who speak when we actually should stay silent. Badmouthing, providing unsolicited comments and advices, rumours, gossip and all the other things. From the look of things some people just feel compelled to be heard even when there is something to be heard. The worst of these do it in groups, probably just to grab some attention and on the other end of the group are those people who tell their stories and air their problems to anyone regardless of whether they "qualify to hear them" or not.
A look at these two sides of the same coin gives a rough idea that while it is important to talk to people about issues to avoid having a mist of uncertainty and a sense of unreleased pressure within, it is good to be cautious in choosing who to share our lives and their secrets with. One person once said that it is not wise to share problems with people because 80 percent of the people do not care that we are in trouble and 20 percent are glad we are in it. No one way of going about it, right? Yeah. None. Just like everything else. This is probably the animal called wisdom comes in (my friends who like Bible language, I am talking discernment).
The levels of communication in a family, society and any other entity determines how things because if people are able to communicate, they are able to give each other feedback and to advise one another on the way forward. No or poor communication leads to broken families, societies and countries. Some of you can relate to this because you have had people expecting you to do something without actually telling you to do it only to hear from a third party that someone expected something you could have managed when it is too late.
We have heard stories of people sitting on communications for others in institutions, consequently making them miss important and life changing opportunities. We have lack of transparency and accountability that is costing foreign taxpayer's money which is siphoned into people's pockets through NGOs because they do not tell us the whole truth of what they are doing in our areas. I shouldn't talk about the access to information bill.
On the same practical side, we need to know that there is only so much freedom we have when and if we are to talk and there is only so much we can say to particular people in particular situations. Judgemental and emotional statements are some of the things that need to be erased from our mouths along with profanity and derogatory comments. It might sound obvious to some of you, but for the rest, it is possible to correct someone who has gone wrong without calling them an ignoramus or any related word.
This piece of writing could go on and on, but the main point is that we shouldn't find ourselves in the loud or silent ends of communication. The middle does everyone good and it is probably where everyone should be. As usual, some will continue to be in the extremes because they haven't read the wise writing of the great Richie. Bear with them and patiently show them the way to the middle.
Nice weekend to all.
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